Accidental Pirate – A True Story
So I’m out there minding my own business when this Cobra Pirate drags me out of cruise with all the Ahahahahahaarrrrrrrr! Give me all your cargo.... Aharrrrrrr!
Then proceeds to tickle my shields, whilst suggesting I might Die!
Well I thought.... maybe this bounder needs a bit of a spanking, so for the first time since time began (release) I deploy my weapon hardpoints.
So the little blighter is still pew pew’ing my shields to no great effect....
Hmm... rubbing my chin I muse the controls for the fire button... aha! There it is rubbing off some dust..
Ok, 50% power to weapons... engage!
Well... the poor little bounder... only after a few pew pew bursts he was down to 16% hull. Then all of a sudden he changed his tone... saying I was not worth it! How rude I thought, you pull me out of cruise, tickle my shields and threaten me with death! ... Oh no you don’t Mr!
I was just about to pull the trigger when, would you believe it... he dumps 5 tonnes of platinum in my face!
Then my ships computer registers a ‘power surge’ from his ship! Oh so now you’re going to leave this mess out here too! Well that was the final straw... a quick boost from the main thrusters and I was reading is ship registration number, well if it had not been scratched out that is... FIRE! Pew pew POP!
That was it... he was no more... well apart from a message that I’d received 9,800 credits confirming his demise...Right, Let’s get out of here I thought.. then looked at the scanner, hmmm... 5 floating canisters of platinum... can’t leave that lying around can we?
So I hastily scooped them up and hyperspaced back to my base station, they never scan me anyway, they know me so well....
Ship scan detected... Oh No!! Panic sets in and I think the green station is going to turn red and fry my backside! Just as I perform my emergency back flip boost manoeuvre I get a message from CMDR Bill,,, ‘Old Bill’ they call him, Suggesting I’ve been a naughty pirate and slaps a 59,000 credit fine on me! I tried to tell him what happened but ‘Old Bill’ was having none of it!
So the station was still offering me landing pad 41, still green too!
So I turned around and landed, looking a bit sheepish as I got off the ship, made my way to the fines department and paid up straight away, accompanied by a ‘tsk’ and a shake of the head from the clerk.
That was an expensive but true story.
Nutter
So I’m out there minding my own business when this Cobra Pirate drags me out of cruise with all the Ahahahahahaarrrrrrrr! Give me all your cargo.... Aharrrrrrr!
Then proceeds to tickle my shields, whilst suggesting I might Die!
Well I thought.... maybe this bounder needs a bit of a spanking, so for the first time since time began (release) I deploy my weapon hardpoints.
So the little blighter is still pew pew’ing my shields to no great effect....
Hmm... rubbing my chin I muse the controls for the fire button... aha! There it is rubbing off some dust..
Ok, 50% power to weapons... engage!
Well... the poor little bounder... only after a few pew pew bursts he was down to 16% hull. Then all of a sudden he changed his tone... saying I was not worth it! How rude I thought, you pull me out of cruise, tickle my shields and threaten me with death! ... Oh no you don’t Mr!
I was just about to pull the trigger when, would you believe it... he dumps 5 tonnes of platinum in my face!
Then my ships computer registers a ‘power surge’ from his ship! Oh so now you’re going to leave this mess out here too! Well that was the final straw... a quick boost from the main thrusters and I was reading is ship registration number, well if it had not been scratched out that is... FIRE! Pew pew POP!
That was it... he was no more... well apart from a message that I’d received 9,800 credits confirming his demise...Right, Let’s get out of here I thought.. then looked at the scanner, hmmm... 5 floating canisters of platinum... can’t leave that lying around can we?
So I hastily scooped them up and hyperspaced back to my base station, they never scan me anyway, they know me so well....
Ship scan detected... Oh No!! Panic sets in and I think the green station is going to turn red and fry my backside! Just as I perform my emergency back flip boost manoeuvre I get a message from CMDR Bill,,, ‘Old Bill’ they call him, Suggesting I’ve been a naughty pirate and slaps a 59,000 credit fine on me! I tried to tell him what happened but ‘Old Bill’ was having none of it!
So the station was still offering me landing pad 41, still green too!
So I turned around and landed, looking a bit sheepish as I got off the ship, made my way to the fines department and paid up straight away, accompanied by a ‘tsk’ and a shake of the head from the clerk.
That was an expensive but true story.
Nutter
