An Open letter to the Achilles Corporation

Sirs,

It has come to my attention that you are requesting Pilots Federation members deliver goods for your upcoming Robot-a-thon construction marathon.

I agree this is a worthy endeavour on your part but I feel I should suggest one slight addition.

Historically when manufacturers want to "Kickstart" a product they go to the consumer base and ask for donations. In return for the consumers involvement the manufacturer typically gives one of the products to the consumers.

This marketing/production method dates back for over a thousand years and is very much a tried and trusted method of bringing a new product to market.

Might I suggest that you take note of this and offer a free robot to all contributors? That way you will provide a unique reward to consumers jaded by constant requests and stand out from the crowd.

This will be new and exciting. It will motivate people to help.

The robots need not be top of the line. Simple dummies intact which can sit in a seat next to the pilot and provide some company. Or at the very least something else to buy clothes for.

It's just an idea but one I think you should consider.

Anyway, gotta go shoot an unspecified number of Scouts. Would love to help but can't see the point at the minute.

Yours

Ouberos.
Galaxies Greatest Jewel Thief.
Esq.
 
I'd be REALLY careful with dummy pilot advice...

fluoride-flying-blind-dummy-compressed.png
 
No doubt any free goods offered will turn out to be underwhelming and will only serve to alienate the KS consumer base further.

Personally I don't think it's a good idea ;)
 
The robots need not be top of the line. Simple dummies intact which can sit in a seat next to the pilot and provide some company. Or at the very least something else to buy clothes for.

Sir,

We have read most of your letter. It was very long but we did notice the above paragraph standing out for as quoted above. Based on your request for something simple that doesn't require additional money for clothing options, we are happy to provide you with the following.

RoberttheRobot.JPG


We hope you enjoy the addition to your "crew". Please forgive the odd voice. You did say it didn't have to be "top of the line" so you get what you pay for.

Sincerely,
William Tendon
CEO, Achilles Corporation
 

Achilles7

Banned
Sirs,

It has come to my attention that you are requesting Pilots Federation members deliver goods for your upcoming Robot-a-thon construction marathon.

I agree this is a worthy endeavour on your part but I feel I should suggest one slight addition.

Historically when manufacturers want to "Kickstart" a product they go to the consumer base and ask for donations. In return for the consumers involvement the manufacturer typically gives one of the products to the consumers.

This marketing/production method dates back for over a thousand years and is very much a tried and trusted method of bringing a new product to market.

Might I suggest that you take note of this and offer a free robot to all contributors? That way you will provide a unique reward to consumers jaded by constant requests and stand out from the crowd.

This will be new and exciting. It will motivate people to help.

The robots need not be top of the line. Simple dummies intact which can sit in a seat next to the pilot and provide some company. Or at the very least something else to buy clothes for.

It's just an idea but one I think you should consider.

Anyway, gotta go shoot an unspecified number of Scouts. Would love to help but can't see the point at the minute.

Yours

Ouberos.
Galaxies Greatest Jewel Thief.
Esq.


A complimentary plastic pal who's fun to be with? Hmmm, 'interesting proposal.

There are no plans currently, primarily because I have a few minor legal issues with which to deal, relating to the recent spate of unfortunate brutal murders by our robots caused by our valued customers' failure to read the operating manuals correctly...but once the backhanders are apportioned accordingly & all that ballyhoo is expediently swept under the carpet, I'll run your proffer up the flagpole & see if anyone salutes it - sorry, I'm trying to wean myself off executive management bullsh1t - I mean, I shall bring it up at the next AGM. No ETAs, no guarantees!

Btw, in future would you please refrain from giving Frontier any ideas about introducing microtransactions for AI?! You know what those little scamps are like!

Thank you for your feedback; we greatly value our customers' opinions (...if not their lives! LOL)

Regards,

Achilles7
President & CEO
 
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