General / Off-Topic Any well-regarded places to go for the socially- to learn social skills?

[Deleted member 110222]

Did you try looking out for those books by Desmond Morris I suggested (OK, my cousins suggested)? They both are on the autistic scale (Bob has Asperger's), and they have helped both of them learn how to communicate better with others.

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Manwatch...842637&hash=item4629785ba4:g:HisAAOSwPkBaVoLy

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/The-Nake...301366&hash=item5b2751857b:g:JesAAOSwNURbTv2f

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/The-Nake...539478&hash=item21388c4f08:g:oioAAOSwXahbW-TF

I've been scouring the libraries. No joy. Was hoping to save a little cash see.

At this point though I'm going to buy, because for one, I need to read some texts, and two, I've actually got a bit more cash in the long term as I'm not eating takeout anymore.

 

[Winterwalker]

TBH I thought psychs'/therapists were the same thing. What is the difference? honest question.

Psychiatry looks for medical explanations and solutions, so basically blames you! Therapy comes from the other stand point; that what might amount to being a neurosis rather than a medical condition can be caused by factors outside of your influence or apparent 'wellness'. Essentially a supporting arm around your shoulder to help you to help yourself, treating the problem rather the symptom.

 

[Goose4291]

Do you work? Post work pub visits might be the way to go.

 

[Vasco Sapien]

Pub...beer...more beer.

When sufficiently inebriated try to engage random people in conversation and maybe sing alongs. I like to engage people with some of my favorite klingon opera, really gets the social juices flowing.

 

[racer1]

If you have hobbies/interests, try finding a local club you can go along to.

E.g. walking club, running club, car club, etc...

Volunteer work is also good for meeting new people in a way that you're forced to interact to some degree and can build on it from there.

 

[jonluv]

Walk dow the street... smile and say hello to everyone you pass. It doesn't have to be comical, just a nice, friendly hello.

When I was a child ( in the Forties) I used to walk to the High School with my head low and eyes down—one day for devilment I decided to say “Good Morning “ to everyone I passed
The first few days were a giggle ,full of strange reactions then people started saying “ Hello” back to me and eventually asking how I was etc. and the net results were lots of new friends

 

[Deleted member 110222]

Do you work? Post work pub visits might be the way to go.

Unfortunately, the lack of employment, (a situation I am in not by choice), certainly doesn't help matters.

I feel extremely isolated as a result, and can't fathom how to, well, not be isolated from everything.

 

[Para Handy]

deleted by me as I am rather annoyed

 

[Asp Explorer]

Unfortunately, the lack of employment, (a situation I am in not by choice), certainly doesn't help matters.

I feel extremely isolated as a result, and can't fathom how to, well, not be isolated from everything.

No job and no money can be very debilitating - I know from experience.

Do you have a driving licence? A vehicle? Maybe look into one of these new-fangled driving service things and take people from A to B for funds. You can be as quiet as you like, and there's the added bonus that your cargo loads and unloads itself.

 

[sgurr]

You probably know about them already but if not might be a good place to start. They may have/know of support networks nearby:
https://www.autismhampshire.org.uk/how-we-can-help/information-advice/

 

[Deleted member 110222]

I'm going to stick this out there for consideration:

http://www.quaker.org.uk/

Depending upon where you are, you could do worse that go along to a meeting and just sit there in silence for an hour. Then afterwards, go have a cup of tea and meet some very welcoming people.

N.B. I am not saying go get religion, the Quakers have a wide range of members and are very tolerant and have no creed. At the very least you will meet some nice people.

If you want to go the whole hog and "find yourself" - you can always get into transcendental meditation - there is a plethora of TM resources on the net, every library (where the cuts have left any) will have something about it in either self-help, mysticism or similar sections.

I actually knew a quaker when I did have a job at a (now gone) stable. Got on really well with him I did.

No job and no money can be very debilitating - I know from experience.

Do you have a driving licence? A vehicle? Maybe look into one of these new-fangled driving service things and take people from A to B for funds. You can be as quiet as you like, and there's the added bonus that your cargo loads and unloads itself.

Driving is one thing I'll probably never do. It might be me or it might be my medication, but being so much as a passenger in a car causes me to panic. My senses go into overdrive. Cycling is fine because it's much slower.

 

[[VR] optimal_909]

Travel somewhere alone, stay in a hostel dorm. Job done.

 

[Bigmaec]

Do small steps.
Say hello and good bye to everyone where you buy stuff.
If offered, make conversation. Most people comment on things like the weather or stuff.
Try to comment on stuff yourself. If people react, talk to them, even if it's only a sentence or two.
Do some harmless chatter. Relax. Small steps.

Find a hobby outside of computers, one with real people. Doesn't have to be full time, but going out and talking will help you.
It will be awkward first, but you will get used to it. And always remember, no one means you harm.

It's not open elite, no one wants to gank you