(with apologies to Julia Ecklar)
Here is the original song so you have the tune: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYNbMIs0094&list=PL8apA_KiJ30-uuUQCQiXuhNMRDWwm9Ack&index=84
When I pulled old 307 out of Oort Port
GalNet channel said pirates all the way
They stuck me with a cargo of live chickens
A dozen drunken miners
and five hung-over Shriners
Well the Frame Shift Drive is over worn and Ill fitted
The gasket on the cargo hatch is gone
I figured we could get as far as Cosi
but I didn't think we'd get much further on
(CHORUS)
Well I'm looking for that asteroid named Rest Stop
Relief pilot damn well better be waiting for me there
'Cause after fifteen hours of bussin
Third class cargo and the riders cussin
I just might fly to blazes and not care
Well I chugged on up to Cosi on our last fumes
and prayed their engineers could fix my jets
cause the jumps had broke the locks and freed the chickens
who were crappin on the miners
and runnin from the Shriners
The vents were full of feathers and limp fezzes
The two latrines were backed up in the hall
With chicken crap and ore dust on my main bridge
I could only hope that Cosi hear my call
(CHORUS)
At Marshall Hub they held me up in docking
then stuck me off on pad 117
The customs man came in breathed once and feinted
then got up, ran out and screamed
for a BioHazard team
Well the passengers ran for the door and jammed it
it took a quarter hour to haul them clear
I found a bar and broke some regulations
then went off looking for and engineer
(CHORUS)
Well I found this joe Von Krugen on a bar-stool
So drunk on coolant fumes he couldn't stand
I told him I could pay him in fresh chickens
If he'd try to fix my drive
so I could leave this port alive
Well he staggered to my ship and stood there laughing
while bedraggled spaced-out chickens filled the air
He sat down on the nearest passed-out Shriner
and he said "Just shoot this ship. It's only fair."
(CHORUS)
Well I called the Third-Shift office and they told me
"Son there's no replacement short of your next stop."
I paid out four fat chickens for a patch job
Got my riders back on board
then in came seven more
GOD they were Merccune mercenaries mean as cat-dirt
and some Damned-fool miner offered em a fight
They were hacking through my back seat with machetes
when I cleared the slot and flew out to the night
(CHORUS)
I locked the doors and holed up on the flight deck
and listened to the ruckus in the rear
Then I got a wild idea and cut the G-force
and let folks and fowl and all
go mix up in freefall
Well I turned my rusty engines toward that asteroid
when they ask me what my cargo is I'll say
Merccune freefall stew and chicken gumbo
Lord that station better not be far away
(CHORUS)
Yeah, I just might fly to blazes and not care.
Here is the original song so you have the tune: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYNbMIs0094&list=PL8apA_KiJ30-uuUQCQiXuhNMRDWwm9Ack&index=84
When I pulled old 307 out of Oort Port
GalNet channel said pirates all the way
They stuck me with a cargo of live chickens
A dozen drunken miners
and five hung-over Shriners
Well the Frame Shift Drive is over worn and Ill fitted
The gasket on the cargo hatch is gone
I figured we could get as far as Cosi
but I didn't think we'd get much further on
(CHORUS)
Well I'm looking for that asteroid named Rest Stop
Relief pilot damn well better be waiting for me there
'Cause after fifteen hours of bussin
Third class cargo and the riders cussin
I just might fly to blazes and not care
Well I chugged on up to Cosi on our last fumes
and prayed their engineers could fix my jets
cause the jumps had broke the locks and freed the chickens
who were crappin on the miners
and runnin from the Shriners
The vents were full of feathers and limp fezzes
The two latrines were backed up in the hall
With chicken crap and ore dust on my main bridge
I could only hope that Cosi hear my call
(CHORUS)
At Marshall Hub they held me up in docking
then stuck me off on pad 117
The customs man came in breathed once and feinted
then got up, ran out and screamed
for a BioHazard team
Well the passengers ran for the door and jammed it
it took a quarter hour to haul them clear
I found a bar and broke some regulations
then went off looking for and engineer
(CHORUS)
Well I found this joe Von Krugen on a bar-stool
So drunk on coolant fumes he couldn't stand
I told him I could pay him in fresh chickens
If he'd try to fix my drive
so I could leave this port alive
Well he staggered to my ship and stood there laughing
while bedraggled spaced-out chickens filled the air
He sat down on the nearest passed-out Shriner
and he said "Just shoot this ship. It's only fair."
(CHORUS)
Well I called the Third-Shift office and they told me
"Son there's no replacement short of your next stop."
I paid out four fat chickens for a patch job
Got my riders back on board
then in came seven more
GOD they were Merccune mercenaries mean as cat-dirt
and some Damned-fool miner offered em a fight
They were hacking through my back seat with machetes
when I cleared the slot and flew out to the night
(CHORUS)
I locked the doors and holed up on the flight deck
and listened to the ruckus in the rear
Then I got a wild idea and cut the G-force
and let folks and fowl and all
go mix up in freefall
Well I turned my rusty engines toward that asteroid
when they ask me what my cargo is I'll say
Merccune freefall stew and chicken gumbo
Lord that station better not be far away
(CHORUS)
Yeah, I just might fly to blazes and not care.