Wow... delete after each death... okay, that is definitely 'blazing your own trail'! Kudos, you crazy sumofabichI guess it took me 2 years to get over dying and having an insurance claim to my name.
Anal for sure, OCD, probably, but as they say, blaze your own trail.
I don't roleplay or 'challenge myself' to that extent. I decided (in my limited roleplay) that my ship being destroyed isn't death- i 'eject' in an escape pod, and someone eventually picks my stasis pod up. I've had 19 insurance claims, and play pretty much exclusively in solo. I'm an 'honest trader with exploration wanderlust'. I have never enjoyed combat in Elite Dangerous PvP or NPCs. And I generally avoid PvP in all the games I play: I dislike being 'someone else's content', and am well aware that there will always be someone in a combat min-maxed ship who spends 8 hours a day honing their 'git gud' skills far beyond my own... so that's not the game I play.
As for why i came back now... I couldn't pin it down. My best guess is a combination of things;
- A need for a distraction in these trying times: 40%
- Interest regarding support for Xbox 'data journal' interfaces with EDSM/EDDB/INARA: 20%
- A supported Xbox HOTAS stick is finally available! (even if it isn't a great stick): 20%
- Curiosity about the exploration changes etc: 20%