My pal and I went fishing last weekend. After the session, I asked my pal how he did. "None, I blanked" was the reply. I told him that I had done a lot better, as I had caught twice as many as him.
The guy that works for me came in the other day and said he was going to leave if I didn't give him a pay rise. I told him, "OK, you can have a 0% rise". He said, "That's not enough, I'm leaving". I said, "Hang on, what if I double that rise". He said, "OK, that's more like it, I'll stay", and he went away happy.