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If I get enough feedback, and I feel comfortable with how things are going, I'll most likely make a youtube account simply for these logs, and keep it updated with new ones as I progress the story.
Any and all feedback is welcome
+Rep for a good first time RP attempt!
Greetings Commander Lakega,
A good try with your first audio log, it has potential, but imho, your selling yourself a little short in a few areas that could be better improved with a few tweeks here and there. Some points worth mentioning are:-
[Introduction.]
Like most good commander type storys that are presented to the reader/listener/viewer you need to introduce not only your character's background history, traits, profession etc etc but also how they found themself at that moment in time and place, that your audio logs starts off with. I felt like I was thrown into a story with nothing to go on and even listening to it twice, I was still left with more unanswered questions then when I first started listening to it. So an introduction to your character and the story is a must, without this intro the listeners will struggle with the basic story your trying to tell them.
Pop over to the Lore and Roleplay forum here, while the forum itself has been neglected and is in a pretty messy state you can still find some excellent commander's logs that tell some very interesting tales from their attention to detail that helps the reader along the way. Sadly the RP community is very small and fragmented across a couple of sites at the moment.
[Presentation.]
This is your very own 'shop window' for presenting your story to your listeners, it can take almost any form you wish, it can be used to 'announce' to people that something new is comming, just as the OP in the Lore and RolePlay forum did here https://forums.frontier.co.uk/showthread.php?t=220273 . It's just one of many *good* examples out there of grabbing people's attention and generating some interest in what you have in store for them.
[Media Format.]
This is a tricky area for commander's logs to be in. Traditionaly its posted in written form and benefits from the descriptive content and style it employs and when transfered to a video format it loses it's ability to automatically fire up the viewer's imagination as the story unfolds, without of course employing heavy use of visual and audio stimulie. Elite Dangerous players are spoiled with the high quality graphics and sound from playing this game, it's only natural that they unknowingly expect this kind of presentation when watching an ED related Video.
It's good that you've choosen to explore an alternative form of presentating your commander's log, but if it's an audio log then why not bypass the YouTube format and use an audio file instead? With an audio file such as a mp3 file, it has the major advantage of being listened to on the player's computer while they are out exploring or on a long haul trading mission, all without having to alt-tab out of the game. Example, with Voice Attack being popular amongst many players, a simple voice command can be issued to play such files easily and seemlessly without any further interaction on the player's part. Off the top of my head, since your experimenting with new audio formats have you thought about 'serializing' your logs into a kind of radio play? While your not going to achieve the same effect as the 1938 radio play entitled, 'War of The Worlds', there is nothing except your imagination, to stop you from writing a serialized RP Elite Dangerous story in this format!.
[Content.]
Another tricky area to get right, of which, there are no straight forward answers to. Unless your happy to write these logs with little or no feedback from anyone then it matters only to you what you write and how much time you want to put into it, anything else is irrelevant. In this case treat it as a writing exercise, to further hone and refine your writing skills should you ever decide to write a book one day, everyone needs to start somewhere right!.
Pop over to the Lore and Role Play forum and have a read through what's already been written there, then choose 2 or 3 that interests you the most. Ask yourself what makes them stand out from all the rest in your eyes. Then, in your head, try and critique the hell out of them, look for plot inconsistances, odd character quirks that dont seem to belong to their character etc. If nothing else, it will serve as basis for encompasing and adapting your own writing style to one that becomes natural for you.
Looking forward to seeing what you can come up with!.
Jake.
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