Dear Mr fancy-pants Elite commander
We couldn't help notice your unfortunate accident while taking off from Trader's Rest at Laksak. It appears that after taking off you were distracted and thus neglected to manoeuvre your ship to a respectable safe clearing distance from the landing pad. Perhaps you were chatting to friends and forgot to engage your engines?
The lads and I were enjoying the local sunset when we spotted the light show that followed. We found the laser-light spectacle and the ensuing explosion quite a sight to behold. We also happened to notice the ejection of two escape pods. The local security enforcement collected one of these, which we believe contained yourself, while the other was forgotten and left resting on the ground. Our keen sense of adventure allowed us to quickly spring into action and retrieve the remaining escape pod. We now believe we have rescued your Elite co-pilot who claims to go by the name Marcelino. He said that he had spent quite some time in training with you and had recently become rated Elite. However he was concerned that you had left him for dead, as he felt you would not be capable of such action after working closely together with you for so long. Although he did say that you were never the same after that other unfortunate accident some time back when apparently your ship and co-pilot were destroyed by 'raining skimmers', as he put it.
We send you this correspondence believing you have now been judged by the law and relocated to the Iron Claw detention facility for your obviously heinous crime against humanity of loitering above a landing pad. Your punishment has been enacted and I'm sure you've had plenty of time to reflect on your criminal actions and promise never to engage in such actions again. However, the humiliation you must be feeling now for your crime cannot possibly be matched by your feelings of loss of your co-pilot, Marcelino, whom we are sure you can only believe to be dead.
We are pleased to inform you that we, the Iron Fist gang, have retrieved your co-pilot and the lads are currently attending to him, in our usual fashion, making sure he is...well ...err...looked after.
There is no need to fret any longer, your time of mourning and sorrow is over. We have a splendid offer for you which we are sure you will accept.
If you send 10M credits to us in a self-addressed envelope by next Thursday before lunch, we'll make sure Marcelino is freighted back to you overnight in a convenient single escape pod. Alternatively you could opt to pay nothing and we'll happily send him back to you for free, in which case the four shipping containers, containing Mercelino, should arrive back in your hands within a few weeks.
All the best at the Detention Facility.
Yours truly
The Iron Fist gang
(This post containing a veiled rant and self-therapy, brought to you by a fellow commander in desperate frustration over NPC permadeath.)
We couldn't help notice your unfortunate accident while taking off from Trader's Rest at Laksak. It appears that after taking off you were distracted and thus neglected to manoeuvre your ship to a respectable safe clearing distance from the landing pad. Perhaps you were chatting to friends and forgot to engage your engines?
The lads and I were enjoying the local sunset when we spotted the light show that followed. We found the laser-light spectacle and the ensuing explosion quite a sight to behold. We also happened to notice the ejection of two escape pods. The local security enforcement collected one of these, which we believe contained yourself, while the other was forgotten and left resting on the ground. Our keen sense of adventure allowed us to quickly spring into action and retrieve the remaining escape pod. We now believe we have rescued your Elite co-pilot who claims to go by the name Marcelino. He said that he had spent quite some time in training with you and had recently become rated Elite. However he was concerned that you had left him for dead, as he felt you would not be capable of such action after working closely together with you for so long. Although he did say that you were never the same after that other unfortunate accident some time back when apparently your ship and co-pilot were destroyed by 'raining skimmers', as he put it.
We send you this correspondence believing you have now been judged by the law and relocated to the Iron Claw detention facility for your obviously heinous crime against humanity of loitering above a landing pad. Your punishment has been enacted and I'm sure you've had plenty of time to reflect on your criminal actions and promise never to engage in such actions again. However, the humiliation you must be feeling now for your crime cannot possibly be matched by your feelings of loss of your co-pilot, Marcelino, whom we are sure you can only believe to be dead.
We are pleased to inform you that we, the Iron Fist gang, have retrieved your co-pilot and the lads are currently attending to him, in our usual fashion, making sure he is...well ...err...looked after.
There is no need to fret any longer, your time of mourning and sorrow is over. We have a splendid offer for you which we are sure you will accept.
If you send 10M credits to us in a self-addressed envelope by next Thursday before lunch, we'll make sure Marcelino is freighted back to you overnight in a convenient single escape pod. Alternatively you could opt to pay nothing and we'll happily send him back to you for free, in which case the four shipping containers, containing Mercelino, should arrive back in your hands within a few weeks.
All the best at the Detention Facility.
Yours truly
The Iron Fist gang
(This post containing a veiled rant and self-therapy, brought to you by a fellow commander in desperate frustration over NPC permadeath.)
