Dear Imperial Scum

Authari

Authari
Incoming Transmission

Greetings Commanders it is I Authari here to bash on all the Simps in the Empire because they can't help but fawn over Aisling Duval. It is really that bad that grown men should flock to the cause of the Empire which uses slavery to operate at its most basic level, hope Aisling Duval enjoys that new hair dye that Imperial Slaves sweated over to make. I set up a 'donation drive' under the premise of giving it to Aisling Duval once, by the end of it I had myself a nice new Fleet Carrier stocked with fully engineered Federal Corvettes and Support Ships. It really is amazing to see commanders just give their money away that they think is going to go to the object of their affection. In this case it was Aisling Duval and the true recipient was me. Afterwards I interdicted some poor commander flying a imperial courier and I was in a black market cutter, had the coms link hooked up to my AI module and fooled him into thinking the mighty 'Princess' had interdicted him.

Then I blew his ship up because he was an imperial scum.

So really I hope you enjoy grinding away for your Imperial Cutters and Prostrating yourselves before the Shrines of Aisling Duval I know you commanders have in your personal quarters in your Cutters. How do I know this? Because this Black Market Cutter already came with an Aisling Duval Shrine already set up! Its such a pervasive epidemic.

The Imperial Fleet really is nothing more than the SIMP Brigade.

Authari Out
 

Northpin

Northpin
(Fed drone detected!)

How dare you!

And no, no more prostrating, all my Aisling posters faded away when i defiled my Cutter by using it to ferry fish for a certain CG 😒

In other news, you should culture yourself on Empire lore, slavery (indentured service actually, the so called slaves have more protection than Fed Corporate Drones) and specifically on Aisling Duval, the People's Princess

From the wiki:
Unlike other leading members of the Empire, Aisling is against the practice of Imperial Slavery, and to that end founded a non-government charity named Stop Slavery Stupid, which later merged with another anti-slavery charity and rebranded itself Unchain. She also has a strong dislike of narcotics, and believes that they should be made illegal in the Empire, at least partially because her mother, entertainer Imogen "Eccentrica" Gabrielini, died from an aneurysm caused by a narcotics overdose shortly after her birth.
 

Authari

Authari
Northpin said:
(Fed drone detected!)

How dare you!

And no, no more prostrating, all my Aisling posters faded away when i defiled my Cutter by using it to ferry fish for a certain CG 😒

In other news, you should culture yourself on Empire lore, slavery (indentured service actually, the so called slaves have more protection than Fed Corporate Drones) and specifically on Aisling Duval, the People's Princess

From the wiki:
Unlike other leading members of the Empire, Aisling is against the practice of Imperial Slavery, and to that end founded a non-government charity named Stop Slavery Stupid, which later merged with another anti-slavery charity and rebranded itself Unchain. She also has a strong dislike of narcotics, and believes that they should be made illegal in the Empire, at least partially because her mother, entertainer Imogen "Eccentrica" Gabrielini, died from an aneurysm caused by a narcotics overdose shortly after her birth.
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Oh I know all about how the Princess outwardly professes her 'intolerance' towards slavery, but really its just another imperial ploy to placate the plebians. XD

Also good on you that your Cutter smells like fish, at least now it smells foul just like the rest of imperial ships.
 

Authari

Authari
Brian of Earth said:
Kids, kids.. face it, Feds and Imps are both inadequate. Although the Cutter is a vastly superior vessel to the Corvette.

(sits back, grabs some popcorn..)
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The Cutter looks like old dog poop that's been sitting on my lawn that is so old its turned white, its even got the cylindrical shape of dog poop going for it, with grooves and everything. The Corvette can be given Guardian FSD and Engineered to about 30 ly jump with a combat ready vessel meaning one could turn it into a Frigate like the Anaconda instead of a Corvette. Now everyone knows you can't put a Guardian FSD on a Cutter because you can't splice actual technology with literal aged-white dog poop.
 

Brian of Earth

Brian of Earth
Authari said:
The Cutter looks like old dog poop that's been sitting on my lawn that is so old its turned white, its even got the cylindrical shape of dog poop going for it, with grooves and everything. The Corvette can be given Guardian FSD and Engineered to about 30 ly jump with a combat ready vessel meaning one could turn it into a Frigate like the Anaconda instead of a Corvette. Now everyone knows you can't put a Guardian FSD on a Cutter because you can't splice actual technology with literal aged-white dog poop.
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ok, ok, you started out well with the poop thing but then you fell into the Fed-splaining ships thing then you lost me a bit there.

Looking at my combat Cutter (I have 3 accounts, I'm just looking at the fleet carrier one, and for reference I'm a PVE guy so no PVP build), it is built A-rated, no weight relief because I don't care about that and I have a Guardian FSD Booster, 3 Guardian Shield Boosters, a Fighter bay, 384 cargo space and can jump a max of 35.32Ly (I may have light-weighted the hull, forgot to look).

AND, to top it off when I'm in a Haz Res chopping up Anacondas like paper planes all I have to do is switch to chopping up smaller ships for a while and my shields can regenerate. My biggest complaint for Corvettes were that once you've worn your shields down it was painfully slow getting them back up to strength. Unless that's changed since I've flown a Corvette (I still have one somewhere).

And of course there's the turning thing on Cutters, but you get used to that and figure it out. Poop be slow to turn sometimes.
 

Authari

Authari
Brian of Earth said:
ok, ok, you started out well with the poop thing but then you fell into the Fed-splaining ships thing then you lost me a bit there.

Looking at my combat Cutter (I have 3 accounts, I'm just looking at the fleet carrier one, and for reference I'm a PVE guy so no PVP build), it is built A-rated, no weight relief because I don't care about that and I have a Guardian FSD Booster, 3 Guardian Shield Boosters, a Fighter bay, 384 cargo space and can jump a max of 35.32Ly (I may have light-weighted the hull, forgot to look).

AND, to top it off when I'm in a Haz Res chopping up Anacondas like paper planes all I have to do is switch to chopping up smaller ships for a while and my shields can regenerate. My biggest complaint for Corvettes were that once you've worn your shields down it was painfully slow getting them back up to strength. Unless that's changed since I've flown a Corvette (I still have one somewhere).

And of course there's the turning thing on Cutters, but you get used to that and figure it out. Poop be slow to turn sometimes.
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Your more than welcomed to present your cutter on my Brag About Your Ships Thread, i talk a lot of smack about Imperials but I don't dare stand in the way between the love a commander has for his ship.

I've been dabbling with coriolis a little bit to build my dream corvette and so far I have one with 8,600 MJ and I think that's pretty good considering there was a guy bragging about having a 10,000 shielded cutter (I could get the Corvette up to 9,000 MJ but not without making a few sacrifices I don't want to make) huge fan of fixed weapons so I gave it a good fixed weapon loadout. Anyways I'm proud of this build because it is a 29.99 LY jump range which actually makes it a valid exploration ship. A Frigate like the Anaconda instead of a Corvette.
 

Dushess74

Dushess74
You used imperial ship, being a fed. Shame on you. :D You have sullied your hands by the filthy parchment of heresy guardsmen ship of other superpower you oppose.
Also I have a cutter, but not representing empire. Do you hate those pilots too?
And lastly, sound like federal scum. :sneaky:
 
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Miscellaneous

Miscellaneous
BASED ON AN ACTUAL TEAR DOWN AND REBUILD OF SUPERPOWER "EXCLUSIVE" SHIPS

Underneath the body kit was a regular VW rabbit and the life support underperformed because it is superimposed with a built in 1C Fart Smell
 

Mike Reacher

Mike Reacher
Cutter has Has prismatic shield 6. For mining.
Corvette has prismatic shield. 8. For shooting things. CZ on my own I do low, and can win 4 without going back to carrier.

Mining is my thing and no PVP.
 

Tino1208

T
Alliance Cmdr here, no great fan of the Feds, and the Imps seem to leave a hint of Lynx in the air. As for Aisling, I hear she'll show you her tuppence for a ha'penny.
 
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