1) Darren Grey: Awaiting orders
“Jameson? Jameson, can you hear me?”
Silence. He’d been that way for days now. She couldn’t understand why. She’d begged for him to respond. She’d tried shouting, screaming, whispering desperately in his ears. But he lay there still in the commander’s chair, not responding.
“Please, Commander Jameson. Say something... anything...”
He didn’t even move. She couldn’t do anything without his instructions, without some sign from him of what he wanted, and so she waited. It was cold outside and the stars stared pitilessly in.
“I’ve been a good ship, haven’t I? Please fly with me again. Please, Commander. Please respond...”
2) el_tel: Iron Man
Commander 'Iron Man' Ivan Stryven, who has died, age 34 days, after a short battle with an Imperial Cruiser.
Although his career was all-too-brief, Stryven's was one marked with several achievements, most notable of which was his EFP rating of 'Below Average'.
Controversially, he claimed to have successfully landed on a planet, despite the common consensus being that this is technically impossible.
A believer in high-risk trading strategies, he often made decisions others thought questionable, but always determined to succeed, Stryven lived by his family motto of 'Nescio quod facio'.
He was later heard to remark "Well that's that then."
3) Frank: Huckleberry Who?
There was a gleam in the mercenary's eye as he dictated to the newspaper clerk, "The evil blaggard who terrorised the Orion Nebula, Mark Finn was killed today by the expert piloting skills of Tom Clemens, who sawed the left wingtip off his Cobra by precision aiming. The spacecraft plummeted like a stone towards..."
The door burst open and there was the hint of someone tumbling in, difficult to see through the light show of plasma blasts.
Mark read the screen that sat between the two fresh corpses. He chuckled to himself, "The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated"
4) JeffRyan: Pirate Raid
Lara stared at the double flash. And she knew. Commander Tharon had been their leader. With him gone Lara was now in charge.
'He's gone,' said Commander Flannigan, captain of the Cobra Mk III. It was the largest remaining ship in their fleet. She'd make it her flagship.
On the comm she said, 'He was the bravest of us. The most ruthless of us. He was a true pirate.'
She glanced over at Daniel, 'His last act saved us from that last viper. Not sure we could have taken it.'
'Wait!' said Daniel.
'We got his pod.'
'******,' she swore.
5) Alien: Commander Stabler
My Friends, I'll have keep this short
Commander Stabler rose high from nought
An easy life he did not get
Things in his way he would not let
He rose to power, money and fame
He knew just how to play the game
Respect he earned was well deserved
No black and white, only shades of grey were blurred
His passion shared by very few
But not by me, and not by you
He put his trust in just one man
Trusting him like no-one can
Commander Stabler was shot by his own gun
Good and faithful servant, well done.
6) Cathy: The Sarcophagus
Grand Admiral Psykok'l'okr of the Pan Galactic Thargoid Imperium eyed the battered pod with interest. For millennia it had drifted between the stars; a most ancient artifact of a species long extinct. A greenish light scattered briefly over the worn inscription and he turned his translator to read the result:
"Here lies our skipper Bob. Let this warning serve as both obituary and epitaph. He was a sound pirate. His girth was great and his fist was tight... as was this pod. We only just got the lid sealed before he burst. So we advise you not to open it."
7) Ian Phillips: Burst of light
The death of Elite Trader Commander Van Rijn has been confirmed.
His body was found amongst the wreckage of his Anaconda in a recently discovered 'dark system' in galactic sector 3250/13/-7.
He gained notoriety by winning many long distance races. His most famous exploit was winning the 'Cross Known Space Race’ five years consecutively, crossing from one frontier to the opposite side without firing his weapons and with the least number of interstellar jumps each time. He vanished during the 3299 race.
His body will be ceremonially launched into his home system’s sun creating the traditional ‘Eternal burst of light’.
8) Darkoba: Goodbye Dad
Dar'kobex was a man of honour, a greatly skilled pilot, a warrior of unparalleled abilities.
He reached the envied 'ELITE' status aged only twenty-eight after an adventurous life of successful trading and bounty hunting.
He invested his wealth in the Ferguson-Freed Design Corporation which developed and built the Cobra-IVa.
He loved his family; he gave us happy and fulfilling lives.
He taught me to fly and fight. He still took great delight, at the age of eighty-nine, in flying some of the riskier trade routes "for old time's sake".
We thought he'd never die... but, at last, I beat him.
9) psykokow: In the Wake
‘Pass me that big bit please’
Manners were very important round the table at a wake, society demanded the correct level of decorum.
‘Certainley... would you like some ribs?’
Such politeness really showed your class...
‘No thank you, I had some liver and it was delicious but I quite fancy some rump steak’
Table settings also reflect your status, a nice tidy table shows how much you care about the deceased.
‘Hmm do you feel that in your heart?’
‘Yes, it's a bit chewy’
‘Who was he anyway’
The 2nd Canibal read the panel on the canister.
‘Commander Chris Jameson’
10) Bikky: The missing woman
A mother and son visit the Tionisla Graves, ‘Here mommy, this is a sad one.’ He points. She smiles knowingly.
Here lies a woman.
Wife and slave to the Agent formerly known as Psykokow.
She ran to the arms of another thinking..... how
Can my life be so bad
It makes me so mad
With Frank it will not be wrong
Even though he wears a Thong
But alas it was not so
Cathy decided it was time to go
Her body has gone she’s not been found
Frank has searched all around
For Psykokow sold Cathy
for one pound.
11) T.j: Revenge is a dish best served cold.
The Priest began.
"We may never know how the Onsie became so deeply inserted into his....... Anyway, he wrote his own obituary which I will now read."
'Friends knew me as a fashion guru, singing savant, photoshop extraodinaire and delusional fantisist. I only regret the incident with Susan Boils, the bucket of soapy frogs and the spacesuit with the bottom cutout.'
The Priest hit the airlock button. The Bloodied Onsie draped coffin shot into the void of space.
Michael leaned forward turning off the BBS and smiled gently at David cleaning the bloodstained hypersonic drainrods and plunger. "Chewbrookie that sunshine."
12) STABB666: Life and Death
What is Life, but a fleeting moment of self-awareness?
It is All- it is The Force. The Universe. God.
Splintered shards of this All exist within each.
We All are the missing piece.
Together, we transcend the notion of completeness.
Greater than All of the parts, still, we are lessened because we are Alone.
It is the briefest flicker of recognition that I am.
I was. And still am and will be again.
Nothing is ended. All is renewed, reshaped and reborn.
Life. The Soul. The Universe- All are eternal.
So what is Death, but a momentary loss of consciousness?
13) Gavthomas: Fer-de-well
Illu Minti picked up his copy of the Empire on Sunday, both tutting at the amount of supplements they put in Sunday papers, and surprised on reflection that they still bother printing newspapers these days. Hmmm... singles ads "Lonely trader seeks like-minded female for exchange of bodily fluids"... Ooh no. Ah, Obituaries.
"Fer-de-well. Cmdr Perseus joined the immortal when trying to park his Fer-de-lance backwards whilst drunk. Apparently he logged on for a quick go after the pub on Saturday, having lost Ironman status the week before launching from a station, going for a wee and crashing into the planet."
14) Musashi: The Light of Other Days
Iria really missed the blue skies of home. She’d thought she’d never tire of the sight of the void dotted with a million tiny jewels of distant suns, but the monochromatic lightyears had taken their toll.
She gazed through her Cobra’s shattered hull at the purple-azure dawn. Sunlight glinted on shards of exposed bone, and the cold air numbed her tattered flesh. The toxic atmosphere and her injuries raced to be the first to claim her.
Iria's final sigh wavered between pain and contentment. The sky’s hues didn’t quite look like those of her childhood, but they were good enough.
15) insanephoton: You only live twice...
On board the warship the crew had gathered for a funeral. Two coffins draped in Federation flags lay side by side.
'We are gathered here to remember the lives of Commander Mark Photon and Major Amber Mapletree...'
'...We hereby commit their bodies to the void...'
The coffins slid from under the draped flags into the torpedo tubes and were launched into space
Meanwhile another ship waited, hidden in darkness. As the warship sped away, the other ship scooped up the coffins. In the hold, two figures emerged from the coffins and removed their remlocks as the Admiral welcomed them aboard.