You take a walk through the threads. You stumble across this one. What's that written on the side? This is number 144? You look backwards to all the other 143 threads heading back through the years. You look forwards to thread number 145, and to Elite Meet. With a happy smile on your lips and a backpack full of stories you head forwards through time.
Welcome to another week of Drabbles. It was a slow start to the week but the Drabblers have outdone themselves. Well done to one and all. I enjoyed reading each and every story. In fact I'd go as far to say that you are all winners, regardless of who actually wins. Don't think of yourselves as losers. Think of yourselves as... achievingly challenged,
Last week there was someone who actually managed to achieve a 1st prize win, Splendour. And he came up with "Waypoints" as his challenge to us.
Psykokow hosts the Abraka-Drabble live reading show and comedy hour at 7pm GMT, Fridays on...
HUTTON ORBITAL RADIO! http://streaming.radionomy.com/HuttonOrbitalRadio (audio only)
LAVE RADIO! http://laveradio.com/ (audio only)
TWITCH! http://www.twitch.tv/psykokow/ (audio & visual)
and will also be uploaded to his You-tube channel & anywhere else he can inflict the world with our drabblings!
Make sure you come back on Sunday night to see how well your Drabble has done.
Please vote. And a warning to all of the contestants don't vote for yourselves. Anyone caught voting for themselves shall be lost forever in a large dark forest.
01 - BadSimoof - Fried Chicken with that?
Commander Phrogsh-Agger seemed flustered.
"But I have no waypoints set!" he spluttered over his comms, frantically fussing over his console.
"LOWER YOUR WAYPOINTS!" the comms shouted back impatiently.
"I DONT UNDERSTAND!" Phrogsh-Agger looked out his cockpit at the large intimidating pirate ship.
"THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE."
Phrogsh-Agger sat back in his chair and smirked as his ship opened fire.
The pirate ship lost all power.
Phrogsh-Agger spoke softly "Return my cargo and I shall return your power. I guess you have a few minutes of air remaining"
To himself Phrogsh-Agger muttered "How d'you like em 'waypoints' ya southern barstewards"
02 - moose666 - A cheesy pun approaches
"So where are you leading me to?"
"There's a little outpost that the universal cartographic bods haven't added yet, good place for exotic items."
"Is that 'exotic' as in how onionhead can be considered 'exotic'?"
"Sometimes, but there's plenty of legit stuff too, last I heard they've started up a line of artisan cheeses, been causing a milk shortage through the whole system."
"So once UC gets their act together the locals will see where all their milk has gone?"
"Yea, in the mean time, they're dumping off the leftover stuff in a big pile, and calling it the wheypoint"
03 - Frank - Half an Ancient Joke and a Weak Pun
Frank was struggling with all the glasses.
"You want a tray?"
The old codger scowled at the barman. Sven looked very harassed with customers. He decided to nod yes instead of making any crass jokes.
The Drabblers were way at the other end of the bar, and the path to them was very busy. He shuffled over to a table and put down the tray for a rest and to gather his bearings. After another stop he eventually made his way back to the others.
After waiting patiently, the Drabblers were glad to see their drinks. They cheered "Whey! Pints!"
04 - Galactic Midden - Which Way Now Wei?
Jiang Wei stared at distant rock piles. For 14 years he had kept the truth secret from the young prodigy.
Blind since birth the girl engineer asked, "what do you see? It's my parents isn't it".
Wei stumbled hard against the window, stunned like his broken ship was from this distant planet's brutal geology. "H-h-how do you know about them?".
"I hear you mumbling... about what happened.... the two exiled engineers hunted down... and a hunter who found himself staring down crossroads at an eyeless infant in the arms of her mother. Plus, I remember the look on your face".
05 - MrMogadon - So Long and Thanks for the Drabbles
One night, Emarr had stared at the photograph of his family and thought back to when he had last spent some quality time with them.
He was shaken to discover that he couldn’t remember.
Two years ago, he’d flown out into the black. Chasing his dreams of making it big. Of making a difference. He’d not been back since.
He’d precious little profit to show for his efforts.
He realised Space wasn’t going to make him rich, just bitter and lonely.
So he’d set course for home.
After months of travelling, the final waypoint beckoned. His final flight – for now.
06 - Darkoba - In for a punny, in for a punt, paint, point, er, pound
Psyokow watched, bemused, as the Asian pilot clambered all over the gleaming white Sidewinder, slapping on Cobalt blue paint with, of all things, a paint brush
"Why d'ye no have it sprayed at Akashi?"
"Noh 'nuff credits." was the muffled reply from atop the ship.
"Why the dark blue? Are you trying to make your ship less noticeable, less visible out there in the black?"
"Nah." came a terse reply, as a drop of blue paint slowly fell in the artificial gravity, landing successfully in Psykokow's eye.
"Why, then?" Mr. P. asked, rubbing his eye.
"I no like whi' paint"
07 - Garzini - Investigating the Rift
Thank you for your interest.
Please take these documents to Patterson Enterprise, orbiting Waypoint in the Sirius system.
You will need to meet with agent Hagrid To, who is the only person we know that could decipher these pages and give the exact location of the anomaly.
It will be necessary to acquire some Jumponium to reach your destination in the Formadine Rift, and I hear that you can get some Yttrium at Lucifer.
Watch out for the tidal forces caused by the local star, it can cause some nasty quakes.
Don’t worry, said Kow, I land like a boss.
08 - cleonymus - Approaching destruction.
The five cobras approached the planet from seemingly random points in the system. They plunged into the gravity well, forming a brief constellation, before each commander engaged stealth mode. Once in orbital cruise they split like some highly rehearsed display team. One that was being held in secret with absolutely no invited observers. Each commander following their own meticulusly prepared flight plan. A few minutes later and they had all landed and deployed their SRV's onto the arid surface.
Lights extinguished, they each started towards the final waypoint. Once there, they would deploy their turrets and commence the final assault.
09 - Listeri69 - How to make your own rare good...
'I'm telling you it's the future' Psykokow pointed to a large case bolted to the floor of his pink orca
'I'm not convinced' Simoof shook his head 'I mean frog cheese? how do you even make frog cheese?'
'Well there are two methods, one involves a monkey and we don't own a monkey, the other involves vigorous squeezing then ripping the head off the frog to get the milk out'
'Then what?' Simoof said tugging a frog 'not getting any milk out of this one'
'Well then you need to add the separator, and then your at the whey point'
10 - Erik Marcaigh - Just Follow Those Waypoints
It was a lucrative trade route, a tortuous series of suns easy to harvest for fuel and dark system stepping stones. There was a part where you had to be exact about the amount you scooped; too much and you were out of range of the next system, too little and you'd end up stranded later.
The trader had no idea how anyone could work out such a route. He was told it by a kindly old traveler who didn't have long to live, although he didn't know it at the time.
A route like this should be kept secret.
11 - FelixBast - Insolent Indicator
“Mr Bast. Please tell us where our goods are?”
Slumped on the cargo bay floor, Mr Bast gurgled.
“Mr Magenta. You may have choked Mr Bast a little too much.”
“I am sorry Mr Green, but he really shouldn’t have said that about my mother.”
“Most deplorable I agree Mr Magenta, but now he is speechless and cannot tell us the way to our weapons canister.”
“Yes, but he can show the way. Point Mr Bast!”
The figure on the floor extended an arm and a finger.
“Please cooperate Mr Bast or l will break that middle finger of yours.”
12 - Yaffle - Buckyballs
Three minutes.
The surreal hyperspace maelstrom shifted around the ship. Helen focussed, waiting the drop, last jump to the Buckyball waypoint. Less than 11Ls to the station.
A star hurled itself at her, she fought the controls, throttle to maximum, eye on the compass.
Two minutes.
‘COME ON’ she screamed, the hauler’s drive responding in kind.
Distance dropping, time dropping, throttle dropping, heartbeat rising, sixty seconds, “SAFE DISENGAGE READY”.
Fifty-four seconds, good alignment, just boost and the record was hers. A clear run, request docking, easy.
BANG! A cobra spawned, she watched it and glory fall away into the void.
13 - Edith_The_Hutt - The inevitable mechanics of 34th century interplanetary warfare.
What's the difference between a flotilla and a bunch of ships?
Coordination. The ability to turn together, move together, attack together; that's how you win a fight, it's how you win a war.
On their scanners we were just a bunch of unmarked ships, pirates looking for an easy score on mining convoys.
Then we turned, pushing, concentrating them towards the waypoint as we moved.
Then we attacked, easy pickings, their stations would go hungry tonight.
A response was inescapable, their security ships had just one place to drop. So did our capital ship.
Our waypoint became a combat zone.
14 - Thirstybadger - Desolation Ridge
Honk, scoop, jump. Honk, scoop, jump. The mind started to wander on these long expeditions, he’d had some engine trouble back at waypoint 17 and had fallen behind the group. Now he was having problems with the com… couldn’t raise anyone. They should be at waypoint 22 by now ready for the last push to Beagle Point. Two more jumps. Honk, scoop, jump. Honk, scoop, jump. As the hyperspace mist cleared still nothing on coms. Perhaps on the surface, as he approached the waypoint suddenly a glimpse of green and something octagonal before he joined the debris at Desolation Ridge
15 - insanephoton - Fuel Stop
Convoys make me nervous. It's an admission that we're expecting trouble. There's safety in numbers, but large convoys also attract a lot of attention, and not all of it is welcome.
This way point is critical. It's where we meet the tankers. It's the riskiest parts of the trip. Many of the big haulers are running dangerously low on fuel and they'll be vulnerable until they're refuelled. It's where I'd attack if I was a pirate.
Long minutes pass and nothing. Finally we're ready to move on. We got away with it this time. I hope our good fortune holds
16 - Alien - Where do Whales Get Weighed?
"Way!"
"No Way!"
"Way."
"No. Way.
"Yes Way."
"No ... weigh."
"Weigh?"
"Weigh."
"Weigh way?"
"Weigh way away way."
"Wait. Weigh way away way?"
"Way."
"No way!"
"Way."
"Whoa ... weigh whales."
"Weigh whales?"
"Weigh whales in Wales."
"Weigh whales in Wales?"
"Weigh whales in Wales."
"Why weigh whales in Wales?"
"Whales weigh Whales way away in Wales way."
"Why away in Wales do Whales weigh whales in Wales?"
"Whales weigh whales in Wales because it's a way of weighing whales away in Wales."
"So ... a way to weigh whales away in Wales where whales weigh whales?"
"Use a whale weigh station."
17 - psykokow - Beware The Way
He strained hard to lift his arm, blood dripping and sizzling on the hot metal that had been used to brand his face. Painfully he straightened his finger as best he could.
His eye, blistered and swollen, staring through the melted eye lid, rolled agonisingly towards the direction of his twisted remaining digit.
His torn lips cracked and split as he spat out the word “there…” before gasping his last breath.
Cmdr Listeri69 turned with the dying commanders direction, a disgusting and horrific vision.
His mother in law sat smiling back at him, lodged solid in the ships toilet cubicle.
18 - RoyalHankey - Captain Navigational Error
Captain Lateness accepted a mission to go to Obsidian Orbital in the Maia System.
Only problem was his Navigational Computer was malfunctioning.
He could only jump a few light years, but needed the money to fix the computer fast.
So it was waypoint, waypoint, waypoint, waypoint scoop, waypoint, waypoint, waypoint, scoop,
waypoint, waypoint, waypoint, waypoint scoop, waypoint, waypoint, scoop,
waypoint, waypoint, waypoint, waypoint, waypoint, scoop, waypoint, waypoint, waypoint, scoop,
waypoint, waypoint, waypoint, waypoint scoop, waypoint, waypoint, waypoint, scoop,
waypoint, waypoint, waypoint, waypoint scoop, waypoint, waypoint, waypoint, scoop.
He finally arrived but the malfunctioning computer sent him to the wrong waypoint.
Welcome to another week of Drabbles. It was a slow start to the week but the Drabblers have outdone themselves. Well done to one and all. I enjoyed reading each and every story. In fact I'd go as far to say that you are all winners, regardless of who actually wins. Don't think of yourselves as losers. Think of yourselves as... achievingly challenged,
Last week there was someone who actually managed to achieve a 1st prize win, Splendour. And he came up with "Waypoints" as his challenge to us.
Psykokow hosts the Abraka-Drabble live reading show and comedy hour at 7pm GMT, Fridays on...
HUTTON ORBITAL RADIO! http://streaming.radionomy.com/HuttonOrbitalRadio (audio only)
LAVE RADIO! http://laveradio.com/ (audio only)
TWITCH! http://www.twitch.tv/psykokow/ (audio & visual)
and will also be uploaded to his You-tube channel & anywhere else he can inflict the world with our drabblings!
Make sure you come back on Sunday night to see how well your Drabble has done.
Please vote. And a warning to all of the contestants don't vote for yourselves. Anyone caught voting for themselves shall be lost forever in a large dark forest.
01 - BadSimoof - Fried Chicken with that?
Commander Phrogsh-Agger seemed flustered.
"But I have no waypoints set!" he spluttered over his comms, frantically fussing over his console.
"LOWER YOUR WAYPOINTS!" the comms shouted back impatiently.
"I DONT UNDERSTAND!" Phrogsh-Agger looked out his cockpit at the large intimidating pirate ship.
"THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE."
Phrogsh-Agger sat back in his chair and smirked as his ship opened fire.
The pirate ship lost all power.
Phrogsh-Agger spoke softly "Return my cargo and I shall return your power. I guess you have a few minutes of air remaining"
To himself Phrogsh-Agger muttered "How d'you like em 'waypoints' ya southern barstewards"
02 - moose666 - A cheesy pun approaches
"So where are you leading me to?"
"There's a little outpost that the universal cartographic bods haven't added yet, good place for exotic items."
"Is that 'exotic' as in how onionhead can be considered 'exotic'?"
"Sometimes, but there's plenty of legit stuff too, last I heard they've started up a line of artisan cheeses, been causing a milk shortage through the whole system."
"So once UC gets their act together the locals will see where all their milk has gone?"
"Yea, in the mean time, they're dumping off the leftover stuff in a big pile, and calling it the wheypoint"
03 - Frank - Half an Ancient Joke and a Weak Pun
Frank was struggling with all the glasses.
"You want a tray?"
The old codger scowled at the barman. Sven looked very harassed with customers. He decided to nod yes instead of making any crass jokes.
The Drabblers were way at the other end of the bar, and the path to them was very busy. He shuffled over to a table and put down the tray for a rest and to gather his bearings. After another stop he eventually made his way back to the others.
After waiting patiently, the Drabblers were glad to see their drinks. They cheered "Whey! Pints!"
04 - Galactic Midden - Which Way Now Wei?
Jiang Wei stared at distant rock piles. For 14 years he had kept the truth secret from the young prodigy.
Blind since birth the girl engineer asked, "what do you see? It's my parents isn't it".
Wei stumbled hard against the window, stunned like his broken ship was from this distant planet's brutal geology. "H-h-how do you know about them?".
"I hear you mumbling... about what happened.... the two exiled engineers hunted down... and a hunter who found himself staring down crossroads at an eyeless infant in the arms of her mother. Plus, I remember the look on your face".
05 - MrMogadon - So Long and Thanks for the Drabbles
One night, Emarr had stared at the photograph of his family and thought back to when he had last spent some quality time with them.
He was shaken to discover that he couldn’t remember.
Two years ago, he’d flown out into the black. Chasing his dreams of making it big. Of making a difference. He’d not been back since.
He’d precious little profit to show for his efforts.
He realised Space wasn’t going to make him rich, just bitter and lonely.
So he’d set course for home.
After months of travelling, the final waypoint beckoned. His final flight – for now.
06 - Darkoba - In for a punny, in for a punt, paint, point, er, pound
Psyokow watched, bemused, as the Asian pilot clambered all over the gleaming white Sidewinder, slapping on Cobalt blue paint with, of all things, a paint brush
"Why d'ye no have it sprayed at Akashi?"
"Noh 'nuff credits." was the muffled reply from atop the ship.
"Why the dark blue? Are you trying to make your ship less noticeable, less visible out there in the black?"
"Nah." came a terse reply, as a drop of blue paint slowly fell in the artificial gravity, landing successfully in Psykokow's eye.
"Why, then?" Mr. P. asked, rubbing his eye.
"I no like whi' paint"
07 - Garzini - Investigating the Rift
Thank you for your interest.
Please take these documents to Patterson Enterprise, orbiting Waypoint in the Sirius system.
You will need to meet with agent Hagrid To, who is the only person we know that could decipher these pages and give the exact location of the anomaly.
It will be necessary to acquire some Jumponium to reach your destination in the Formadine Rift, and I hear that you can get some Yttrium at Lucifer.
Watch out for the tidal forces caused by the local star, it can cause some nasty quakes.
Don’t worry, said Kow, I land like a boss.
08 - cleonymus - Approaching destruction.
The five cobras approached the planet from seemingly random points in the system. They plunged into the gravity well, forming a brief constellation, before each commander engaged stealth mode. Once in orbital cruise they split like some highly rehearsed display team. One that was being held in secret with absolutely no invited observers. Each commander following their own meticulusly prepared flight plan. A few minutes later and they had all landed and deployed their SRV's onto the arid surface.
Lights extinguished, they each started towards the final waypoint. Once there, they would deploy their turrets and commence the final assault.
09 - Listeri69 - How to make your own rare good...
'I'm telling you it's the future' Psykokow pointed to a large case bolted to the floor of his pink orca
'I'm not convinced' Simoof shook his head 'I mean frog cheese? how do you even make frog cheese?'
'Well there are two methods, one involves a monkey and we don't own a monkey, the other involves vigorous squeezing then ripping the head off the frog to get the milk out'
'Then what?' Simoof said tugging a frog 'not getting any milk out of this one'
'Well then you need to add the separator, and then your at the whey point'
10 - Erik Marcaigh - Just Follow Those Waypoints
It was a lucrative trade route, a tortuous series of suns easy to harvest for fuel and dark system stepping stones. There was a part where you had to be exact about the amount you scooped; too much and you were out of range of the next system, too little and you'd end up stranded later.
The trader had no idea how anyone could work out such a route. He was told it by a kindly old traveler who didn't have long to live, although he didn't know it at the time.
A route like this should be kept secret.
11 - FelixBast - Insolent Indicator
“Mr Bast. Please tell us where our goods are?”
Slumped on the cargo bay floor, Mr Bast gurgled.
“Mr Magenta. You may have choked Mr Bast a little too much.”
“I am sorry Mr Green, but he really shouldn’t have said that about my mother.”
“Most deplorable I agree Mr Magenta, but now he is speechless and cannot tell us the way to our weapons canister.”
“Yes, but he can show the way. Point Mr Bast!”
The figure on the floor extended an arm and a finger.
“Please cooperate Mr Bast or l will break that middle finger of yours.”
12 - Yaffle - Buckyballs
Three minutes.
The surreal hyperspace maelstrom shifted around the ship. Helen focussed, waiting the drop, last jump to the Buckyball waypoint. Less than 11Ls to the station.
A star hurled itself at her, she fought the controls, throttle to maximum, eye on the compass.
Two minutes.
‘COME ON’ she screamed, the hauler’s drive responding in kind.
Distance dropping, time dropping, throttle dropping, heartbeat rising, sixty seconds, “SAFE DISENGAGE READY”.
Fifty-four seconds, good alignment, just boost and the record was hers. A clear run, request docking, easy.
BANG! A cobra spawned, she watched it and glory fall away into the void.
13 - Edith_The_Hutt - The inevitable mechanics of 34th century interplanetary warfare.
What's the difference between a flotilla and a bunch of ships?
Coordination. The ability to turn together, move together, attack together; that's how you win a fight, it's how you win a war.
On their scanners we were just a bunch of unmarked ships, pirates looking for an easy score on mining convoys.
Then we turned, pushing, concentrating them towards the waypoint as we moved.
Then we attacked, easy pickings, their stations would go hungry tonight.
A response was inescapable, their security ships had just one place to drop. So did our capital ship.
Our waypoint became a combat zone.
14 - Thirstybadger - Desolation Ridge
Honk, scoop, jump. Honk, scoop, jump. The mind started to wander on these long expeditions, he’d had some engine trouble back at waypoint 17 and had fallen behind the group. Now he was having problems with the com… couldn’t raise anyone. They should be at waypoint 22 by now ready for the last push to Beagle Point. Two more jumps. Honk, scoop, jump. Honk, scoop, jump. As the hyperspace mist cleared still nothing on coms. Perhaps on the surface, as he approached the waypoint suddenly a glimpse of green and something octagonal before he joined the debris at Desolation Ridge
15 - insanephoton - Fuel Stop
Convoys make me nervous. It's an admission that we're expecting trouble. There's safety in numbers, but large convoys also attract a lot of attention, and not all of it is welcome.
This way point is critical. It's where we meet the tankers. It's the riskiest parts of the trip. Many of the big haulers are running dangerously low on fuel and they'll be vulnerable until they're refuelled. It's where I'd attack if I was a pirate.
Long minutes pass and nothing. Finally we're ready to move on. We got away with it this time. I hope our good fortune holds
16 - Alien - Where do Whales Get Weighed?
"Way!"
"No Way!"
"Way."
"No. Way.
"Yes Way."
"No ... weigh."
"Weigh?"
"Weigh."
"Weigh way?"
"Weigh way away way."
"Wait. Weigh way away way?"
"Way."
"No way!"
"Way."
"Whoa ... weigh whales."
"Weigh whales?"
"Weigh whales in Wales."
"Weigh whales in Wales?"
"Weigh whales in Wales."
"Why weigh whales in Wales?"
"Whales weigh Whales way away in Wales way."
"Why away in Wales do Whales weigh whales in Wales?"
"Whales weigh whales in Wales because it's a way of weighing whales away in Wales."
"So ... a way to weigh whales away in Wales where whales weigh whales?"
"Use a whale weigh station."
17 - psykokow - Beware The Way
He strained hard to lift his arm, blood dripping and sizzling on the hot metal that had been used to brand his face. Painfully he straightened his finger as best he could.
His eye, blistered and swollen, staring through the melted eye lid, rolled agonisingly towards the direction of his twisted remaining digit.
His torn lips cracked and split as he spat out the word “there…” before gasping his last breath.
Cmdr Listeri69 turned with the dying commanders direction, a disgusting and horrific vision.
His mother in law sat smiling back at him, lodged solid in the ships toilet cubicle.
18 - RoyalHankey - Captain Navigational Error
Captain Lateness accepted a mission to go to Obsidian Orbital in the Maia System.
Only problem was his Navigational Computer was malfunctioning.
He could only jump a few light years, but needed the money to fix the computer fast.
So it was waypoint, waypoint, waypoint, waypoint scoop, waypoint, waypoint, waypoint, scoop,
waypoint, waypoint, waypoint, waypoint scoop, waypoint, waypoint, scoop,
waypoint, waypoint, waypoint, waypoint, waypoint, scoop, waypoint, waypoint, waypoint, scoop,
waypoint, waypoint, waypoint, waypoint scoop, waypoint, waypoint, waypoint, scoop,
waypoint, waypoint, waypoint, waypoint scoop, waypoint, waypoint, waypoint, scoop.
He finally arrived but the malfunctioning computer sent him to the wrong waypoint.
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