Chess Federation: Hello. As an elite player, we are excited to tell you about improvements to the game.
Chess player: Hello. OK, what's in the changelog? Will the board look better?
CF: Well. We had some players complaining that the game took too long, what with the pawns only moving one square and all. They said we should respect their time.
CP: What? Its all playing, even when moving pawns. I love building up to a bishop dashing along a diagonal.
CF: True. But they are making a lot of waves, so we are allowing all the pawns to be replaced by queens. Anything to get rid of the noise.
CP: What? That would ruin the balance of one of the worlds most beautiful games!
CF: No, no. It's fine. The rule is optional. You can still use pawns if you want, then you won't be affected.
CP: What? 8 pawns against 8 queens? That's unfair.
CF: Not at all. We need to let people play how they want. It's just too grindy with pawns.
CP: Apart from the moral issues, chess sets don't have so many queens. It's not practical.
CF: Don't worry. The pawns will become queens using telekenesis. It's all good. Explains everything you see.
CP: So I will come to play with another player who has much stronger equipment just so they can use less time playing?
CF: Yes. But it will be fun. And your opponent won't have to watch a movie while he is advancing his pawn.
CP: I see. Sounds awful. But at least it is still one on one.
CF: Actually no. We also now allow other players to help your opponent to move his pieces.
CP: What?
CF: You might see a pawn change suddenly into a queen and then move at the same time as another one. It's really cool!
CP: So I play a game of skill, with a long tradition and history, but suddenly you decide to make it that I will play against opponents that aren't there, using pieces that are more powerful than they should be? Because some people don't want to play the way it was before?
CF: That's it! Chess has never been better! A group of mates can now beat a proper player, and giggle while they do it.
CP: I resign.
CF: Can't I'm afraid. They call that logging or something. It's very annoying apparantly.
CP: Oh for goodness sake. And I used to love chess. What about the board?
CF: We are making it smaller, and with less squares. Most of the new players only play on a coffee table.
CP: ...Swear filter enabled...
Chess player: Hello. OK, what's in the changelog? Will the board look better?
CF: Well. We had some players complaining that the game took too long, what with the pawns only moving one square and all. They said we should respect their time.
CP: What? Its all playing, even when moving pawns. I love building up to a bishop dashing along a diagonal.
CF: True. But they are making a lot of waves, so we are allowing all the pawns to be replaced by queens. Anything to get rid of the noise.
CP: What? That would ruin the balance of one of the worlds most beautiful games!
CF: No, no. It's fine. The rule is optional. You can still use pawns if you want, then you won't be affected.
CP: What? 8 pawns against 8 queens? That's unfair.
CF: Not at all. We need to let people play how they want. It's just too grindy with pawns.
CP: Apart from the moral issues, chess sets don't have so many queens. It's not practical.
CF: Don't worry. The pawns will become queens using telekenesis. It's all good. Explains everything you see.
CP: So I will come to play with another player who has much stronger equipment just so they can use less time playing?
CF: Yes. But it will be fun. And your opponent won't have to watch a movie while he is advancing his pawn.
CP: I see. Sounds awful. But at least it is still one on one.
CF: Actually no. We also now allow other players to help your opponent to move his pieces.
CP: What?
CF: You might see a pawn change suddenly into a queen and then move at the same time as another one. It's really cool!
CP: So I play a game of skill, with a long tradition and history, but suddenly you decide to make it that I will play against opponents that aren't there, using pieces that are more powerful than they should be? Because some people don't want to play the way it was before?
CF: That's it! Chess has never been better! A group of mates can now beat a proper player, and giggle while they do it.
CP: I resign.
CF: Can't I'm afraid. They call that logging or something. It's very annoying apparantly.
CP: Oh for goodness sake. And I used to love chess. What about the board?
CF: We are making it smaller, and with less squares. Most of the new players only play on a coffee table.
CP: ...Swear filter enabled...
