General / Off-Topic Ending the year on a relaxed note

Chris Simon

Chris Simon
Hello, commanders.
First, I stumbled upon this wonderful piece of a video so I'm going to share because why not. If nobody else, I think at least Patrick will appreciate it. :)

[video=youtube;dXXl3dEx6qo]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXXl3dEx6qo[/video]

Something very cool, very relaxing. Featuring what is, in my opinion, probably the most elegant jet of this day.

While watching the video, I started to reminisce about the year that is just ending. For me personally, it wasn't particularly happy or fun year at all. Health issues of that weird kind that can't really get better, you just learn to live with it. Lost some people who were making the life worth living. My business is making ginding noises as well. But there were good moments, too. Some of the more notable ones tied to Elite and its community. Elite is the thing I turn to whenever I need to wind down, clear my head. And the forum, attrocious as you guys may be, is the last thing I check before bed and first thing in the morning. You're part of my life, like it or not.
Bah. Humbug. Good things, bad things, it is what it is. To move forward, you must kick one foot up and drag the other behind you. :)

So with that said, I wish you all the best. What ever your year was, I hope the next one will be at least that, but preferably better.
Don't know what your plans are for the New Year's Eve. Mine will probably not end well. Or early. (I might have started, already) But rememeber - if we manage survive that, we will survive anything.

Peace. o7
 
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verminstar

Banned
verminstar
To use a line from Her Majesty, this past year has been annus horribilus...sorry if thats not the right grammar Im not as learned as some of you fine gents.

Last June, I was involved in a dog attack that left my two near dead and me needing stitches on both arms after the owner of an english pitbull quite intentionally set his dog on me and my dogs...made the national papers and the BBC news site at the time. That was the level zero because I didnt want the police involved...because I wanted to find the guy and deal with it personally.

Then at the beginning of summer, things got so much worse and my mother was taken into pallative care with final stage lung cancer. Hardly a huge surprise, shes been a hard drinker n smoker since forever but what made this extra hard was a number of factors. Firstly she also had alzeimers so she kept forgetting where she was and why...so imagine telling yer mum she has cancer for the first time, 4 or 5 times a day or having to physically restrain her from pulling out all the tubes cos the pain is so bad and she just wants to go home.

5 weeks she lasted...tough old bird wouldnt stop fighting right to the bitterest of endings, think she loosened one my front teeth after I refused to give her the car keys.

Anyway, it didnt hit me straight away and festered fer a few weeks. Funny coincidence being that when she died, it was only two weeks after the ten year anniversary of losing my wife, also to cancer, and more or less two years since my daughter was diagnosed with the same cancer and lost a life altering chunk of one of her lungs on her 14th birthday.

Its my curse to watch everyone I care about die while nature makes sure that I slow down and just watch...I feel like nature is torturing me fer fun. Im back on the booze obviously, fell of that wagon bout mid september after almost 8 years dry. Gonna have to get a grip on that cos I dont do moderation...when I start I dont stop until Ive destroyed meself utterly and wake up in a pool of my own sick on the floor...its easier than being sober and just having too much time to think...

So thats how I end this year. Still what does a guy do? Connect a hose from the exhaust and into a closed car and just fall asleep never to wake up? Take a bottle of lyrica and a bottle of jack and go out with a bang maybe? Ive certainly thought about it many times but I dont do it...not cos Im scared but cos of two things...love and hate. Love fer me daughter cos I wont abandon her and hate fer...other things that I call ¨unresolved¨

Im not a forgiving man and neither do I hold christian values...if someone wrongs me Ill wrong them back twice what they did on me. Thats the way I am, the way Ive always been and I cant change...trying to change made me deeply unhappy so I stopped trying a very long time ago. Fact is, I enjoy it too much...maybe this is karma then.

Still...one has to smile and carry on...the british way stiff upper lip and all that. Ill write a book before I go...actually I already have several drafts that will never see the light of day because Ive named names...names that really wont wanna be named in this day and age...names who are now respectable names and who appear on the tv quite regularly, all smiles and handshakes. If Joe Public only knew what those hands have done, I wonder would they be as keen to shake them...I think not.

When I depart...which will be soon enough...it will be with a very loud bang. When I go to hell I aint goin alone...thats how Im ending 2018, happy new year ^
 
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