There are a lot of good tips and guides floating around out there on how to play/survive/thrive in Elite. Lacking, however, is any information on how to get around the forum itself. Having spent thousands of hours digesting several million forum posts, I feel uniquely qualified to offer these tips on how to become a Elite poster on the forums.
1) Starting off. It is vitally important to establish your credibility as an Elite gamer from the outset. Claiming to have played the original Elite - the more obscure the system the better - instantly makes your opinions 500% more valid than anyone else's. If, like me, you were unlucky enough to have been born a mere three days after the original release date, don't worry - it's the internet! You can lie! An example of a legitimate opening to your post, "I've been gaming since Palamedes invented knucklebones during the Trojan War. I've been flying spacesims since Spacewar on the PDP-1 in 1962. I played the original Elite on a toaster that I wired to a hamster wheel in David Braben's attic." Boom! Instant credibility.
2) Signing off. In Elite and, indeed, across the internet, your worth as a person is directly related to your PC specs. If you are running anything less than a watercooled, overclocked i7 with 4-way SLI GTX 980s you're obviously a noob. Thankfully, again, it's the internet. If anyone challenges you - on anything - run a quick google search to find the absolute bleeding edge of technology and add it your signature. Trust me, you will be infinitely more respected if your system is dramatically over the top.
3) Initial posts. The first thing you're going to want to do is start up the game, ignore the tutorials, log out, and make three to four posts on how impossible docking is. Much like learning to drive a car, docking is the parallel parking of Elite. Whatever you do, don't practice, don't spend the 4,000 credits for a docking computer, just come here and tell the devs that they need to fix docking because you're having trouble with it - remember these lessons; they'll come up again.
4) Establishing yourself. There are 400 billion systems in Elite and each one is a potential complaint. The world is your oyster at this point. I'd recommend at least two to four posts complaining about supercruise, USS, aggroing security, and how empty the world is. Now there is a section of the forums for suggestions, but you'll want to avoid that... in fact, don't offer any suggestions at all - just complain about it. You'll also get bonus points for bringing up EVE and Star Citizen, despite the fact that one has been out for eleven years and the other is still in development.
5) Becoming Elite. At some point in time during your gameplay you may look at your right-side HUD panel. There, clearly listed, will be your current credits and an amount listed as insurance. IGNORE THIS. Whenever you upgrade, buy a new ship, purchase cargo, etc. you're going to want to make sure that your current credits is as far below your insurance as possible. Pretend that you're a government. Now all you need to do is fly around - eventually you'll get interdicted, crash into another ship, perhaps a docking error (remember don't practice). Because your insurance cost is above your actual credits - you'll have lost everything! Now summon all your rage, all your anger, come to this forum and unleash literal hell! Pull out all the stops! This is the post we'll remember you for! When the smoke clears and the dusts settles you will be... an Elite forum poster!
1) Starting off. It is vitally important to establish your credibility as an Elite gamer from the outset. Claiming to have played the original Elite - the more obscure the system the better - instantly makes your opinions 500% more valid than anyone else's. If, like me, you were unlucky enough to have been born a mere three days after the original release date, don't worry - it's the internet! You can lie! An example of a legitimate opening to your post, "I've been gaming since Palamedes invented knucklebones during the Trojan War. I've been flying spacesims since Spacewar on the PDP-1 in 1962. I played the original Elite on a toaster that I wired to a hamster wheel in David Braben's attic." Boom! Instant credibility.
2) Signing off. In Elite and, indeed, across the internet, your worth as a person is directly related to your PC specs. If you are running anything less than a watercooled, overclocked i7 with 4-way SLI GTX 980s you're obviously a noob. Thankfully, again, it's the internet. If anyone challenges you - on anything - run a quick google search to find the absolute bleeding edge of technology and add it your signature. Trust me, you will be infinitely more respected if your system is dramatically over the top.
3) Initial posts. The first thing you're going to want to do is start up the game, ignore the tutorials, log out, and make three to four posts on how impossible docking is. Much like learning to drive a car, docking is the parallel parking of Elite. Whatever you do, don't practice, don't spend the 4,000 credits for a docking computer, just come here and tell the devs that they need to fix docking because you're having trouble with it - remember these lessons; they'll come up again.
4) Establishing yourself. There are 400 billion systems in Elite and each one is a potential complaint. The world is your oyster at this point. I'd recommend at least two to four posts complaining about supercruise, USS, aggroing security, and how empty the world is. Now there is a section of the forums for suggestions, but you'll want to avoid that... in fact, don't offer any suggestions at all - just complain about it. You'll also get bonus points for bringing up EVE and Star Citizen, despite the fact that one has been out for eleven years and the other is still in development.
5) Becoming Elite. At some point in time during your gameplay you may look at your right-side HUD panel. There, clearly listed, will be your current credits and an amount listed as insurance. IGNORE THIS. Whenever you upgrade, buy a new ship, purchase cargo, etc. you're going to want to make sure that your current credits is as far below your insurance as possible. Pretend that you're a government. Now all you need to do is fly around - eventually you'll get interdicted, crash into another ship, perhaps a docking error (remember don't practice). Because your insurance cost is above your actual credits - you'll have lost everything! Now summon all your rage, all your anger, come to this forum and unleash literal hell! Pull out all the stops! This is the post we'll remember you for! When the smoke clears and the dusts settles you will be... an Elite forum poster!