General / Off-Topic Forums a bit dull ? need poesi :D

Comrade Napoleon

Comrade Napoleon
Freely adapted from whom ? (1st right answer gets + rep)
To be or not to be-that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And, by opposing, end them. To die, to sleep-
No more-and by a sleep to say we end
The heartache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to-'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep-
To sleep, perchance to dream. Aye, there's the rub,
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause. There's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life.
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
Th' oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely, [F: poor]
The pangs of despised love, the law’s delay, [F: disprized]
The insolence of office, and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? Who would fardels bear, [F: these Fardels]
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscovered country from whose bourn
No traveler returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pitch and moment, [F: pith]
With this regard their currents turn awry, [F: away]
And lose the name of action.-Soft you now,
The fair Ophelia.-Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remembered.

Chers Cmdr's respect to you all :)
 

Lunchmoney

Lunchmoney
To follow with more unrelated nonsense:

Immanuel Kant was a real ant who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boosey beggar who could think you under the table.
David Hume could out-consume Shoppenhauer and Hegel,
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine who was just as schloshed as Schloegel.
There's nothin' Neitzche couldn't teach ya 'bout the raisin' of the wrist;
Socrates, himself, was permanently       !

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will, after half a pint of shard was particularly ill.
Plato, they say, could stick it away, half a crate of whiskey every day.
Aristotle, Aristotle was a        for the bottle, Hobbes was fond of his dram.
And René Déscartes was a drunken fart, “I drink therefore I am.”
Yes Socrates, himself, is particularly missed: A lovely little thinker, but a        when he's       !
 

Spacemarkl

Spacemarkl
Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
Thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gabbleblotchits
On a lurgid bee.
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes
And hooptiously drangle me
With crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon,
See if I don’t!
 

wolferr

wolferr
Here's one for you.

Now is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer by this son of York;
And all the clouds that lowered upon our house
In the deep bosom of the ocean buried.
Now are our brows bound with victorious wreaths,
Our bruisèd arms hung up for monuments,
Our stern alarums changed to merry meetings,
Our dreadful marches to delightful measures.
Grim-visaged war hath smoothed his wrinkled front,
And now, instead of mounting barbèd steeds
To fright the souls of fearful adversaries,
He capers nimbly in a lady's chamber
To the lascivious pleasing of a lute.

What's the next line?
 
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wolferr

wolferr
Here is another.

Young man, I am afraid your speech was a trifle short. You could have said at least one hundred other things, varying the tone of your words. Let me give you some examples.
In an aggressive tone: "Sir, if I had a nose like that, I would amputate it!"
Friendly: "When you drink from a cup your nose must get wet.
Why don't you drink from a bowl?"
Descriptive: "Tis a rock! A peak! A cape! No, it's a peninsula!"
Curious: "What is that large container for? To hold your pens and ink?"
Gracious: "How kind you are. You love the little birds so much you have given them a perch to roost upon."
Truculent: "When you light your pipe and puff smoke from your nose the neighbors must think the chimney's afire."
Considerate: "Be careful when you bow your head or you might lose your balance and fall over."
Thoughtful: "Place an umbrella over your nose to keep its color from fading in the sun."
Arcane: "Sir, only the beast that Aristophanes calls the hippocampelephantocamelos could have had such a solid lump of flesh and bone below its forehead."
Cavalier: "A hook to hang your hat upon."
Emphatic: "No breeze, O majestic nose, can give thee cold - save when the north winds blow."
Dramatic: "When it bleeds, it must be like the Red Sea."
Admiring: "What a fine sign for a perfume shop!"
Lyrical: "Is that a conch shell? And are you Triton risen from the ocean?"
Naïve: "Is that monument open to the public?"
Rustic: "That don't look like a nose. It's either a big cucumber or a little watermelon."
Military: "The enemy is charging! Aim your cannon!"
Practical: "A nose like that has one advantage: it keeps your feet dry in the rain."
There, sir, now you have an inkling of what you might have said, had you been a witty man of letters. Unfortunately, you're totally witless and a man of very few letters: only four that spell the word "fool." But even if you had the skill to invent such remarks, you would not have been able to entertain me with them. You would have uttered no more than a quarter of such a jest, the first syllable of the first word, for such jesting is a privilege I only grant myself.
 
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