Greetings Commanders,
A new year has arrived, space is vast, dark and full of angry things that are annoyed at your existence. Political parties squabble with each other for minor victories and capitalism continues to find new ways to keep society imbalanced...And things are pretty bleak in Elite Dangerous too!
Lets catch up on the GalNet news from the start of this year!
AZIMUTH CONDUCTS AX WEAPONS RESEARCH - 3 January 3309
Azimuth Biotech, the company behind the popular "We didn't mean to start an intergalactic war, honest" slogan are back at it again! Yes, everyone's favourite team of xenophobic scientists are working away on brand new technologies to help you melt a Thargoids face off in style. Moving away from Salvation's "Muah ha ha unlimited power!" approach to killing extraterrestrials is the new company policy and one they hope might have slightly less apocalyptic results.
SUBJECT D-2 DEPARTS ON LONE MISSION - 5 January 3309
Salvation plaything Seo Jin-ae has disappeared from their sanctuary and left to dish out some unfinished business against their previous captor. What this unfinished business might be for the quite dead scientist is unknown, but heading to HIP 22460 with a dustpan and brush seems about the only way to interact with him currently. Azimuth Biotech has responded with "Clearly everyone else is at fault and this has nothing to do with our distinct lack of ethics" whilst at the same time offering to welcome them back into their care. It would arguably be a nice gesture if they could stop wringing their hands and laughing maniacally.
ADMIRAL TANNER RECEIVES PRESIDENTIAL PARDON - 9 January 3309
Admiral Tanner, the man who said "This is all going to go horribly wrong" right before it all went horribly wrong has been pardoned by Zachary "I'm totally a good guy" Hudson. Previously given a dishonarable discharge for trying to take control of the Hind Mine starport when he suspected the Proteus Wave was going to backfire, Tanner has now been recognised as a skilled and knowledgeable military leader who was obviously totally doing a good job and the Federation are not at all trying to find anyone who is good at killing Thargoids to bolster their forces.
AZIMUTH ANNOUNCES EXPERIMENTAL WEAPONS STABILISER - 12 January 3309
Azimuth "We're totally not sinister" Biotech announced their brand new range of weapon stabilisers at this years TZ Arietis Weapon Expo. These new stabilisers will allow pilots to stick even more anti-xeno weapons on their ships and blow up even more alien interlopers. Azimuth also took time to complain about the Admiral Tanner pardon citing that it was unfair for him to be pardoned just because he was totally right and everything has gone horribly wrong since then.
That's it for this week, join us next time as we await the inevitable collapse of reality and the rising of the Great Old Ones. Ia Ia Cthulhu fhtagn!
A new year has arrived, space is vast, dark and full of angry things that are annoyed at your existence. Political parties squabble with each other for minor victories and capitalism continues to find new ways to keep society imbalanced...And things are pretty bleak in Elite Dangerous too!
Lets catch up on the GalNet news from the start of this year!
AZIMUTH CONDUCTS AX WEAPONS RESEARCH - 3 January 3309
Azimuth Biotech, the company behind the popular "We didn't mean to start an intergalactic war, honest" slogan are back at it again! Yes, everyone's favourite team of xenophobic scientists are working away on brand new technologies to help you melt a Thargoids face off in style. Moving away from Salvation's "Muah ha ha unlimited power!" approach to killing extraterrestrials is the new company policy and one they hope might have slightly less apocalyptic results.
SUBJECT D-2 DEPARTS ON LONE MISSION - 5 January 3309
Salvation plaything Seo Jin-ae has disappeared from their sanctuary and left to dish out some unfinished business against their previous captor. What this unfinished business might be for the quite dead scientist is unknown, but heading to HIP 22460 with a dustpan and brush seems about the only way to interact with him currently. Azimuth Biotech has responded with "Clearly everyone else is at fault and this has nothing to do with our distinct lack of ethics" whilst at the same time offering to welcome them back into their care. It would arguably be a nice gesture if they could stop wringing their hands and laughing maniacally.
ADMIRAL TANNER RECEIVES PRESIDENTIAL PARDON - 9 January 3309
Admiral Tanner, the man who said "This is all going to go horribly wrong" right before it all went horribly wrong has been pardoned by Zachary "I'm totally a good guy" Hudson. Previously given a dishonarable discharge for trying to take control of the Hind Mine starport when he suspected the Proteus Wave was going to backfire, Tanner has now been recognised as a skilled and knowledgeable military leader who was obviously totally doing a good job and the Federation are not at all trying to find anyone who is good at killing Thargoids to bolster their forces.
AZIMUTH ANNOUNCES EXPERIMENTAL WEAPONS STABILISER - 12 January 3309
Azimuth "We're totally not sinister" Biotech announced their brand new range of weapon stabilisers at this years TZ Arietis Weapon Expo. These new stabilisers will allow pilots to stick even more anti-xeno weapons on their ships and blow up even more alien interlopers. Azimuth also took time to complain about the Admiral Tanner pardon citing that it was unfair for him to be pardoned just because he was totally right and everything has gone horribly wrong since then.
That's it for this week, join us next time as we await the inevitable collapse of reality and the rising of the Great Old Ones. Ia Ia Cthulhu fhtagn!
Love the intro.
"Currently" has weight to it
