Greetings Commanders!
The sands of time ebb and flow as they who lurk beyond mortal comprehension watch our every move with otherworldly disdain. As we continue our slow march towards irrelevance in the grand cosmos, it is time to check out what's been going on in the news!
RUMOURS CIRCULATE AROUND SEO JIN-AE - 20 March 3309
The artist formally known as D2 has been the subject of speculation and conspiracy theories this week. After legging it out of a totally benign medical facility with clearly no ulterior motives, Seo Jin-ae was reported to have put on a leather jacket, shades and said "I have unfinished business with Salvation" in an overly deep voice. They then promptly disappeared off the map leaving people lost, confused and still having difficulty deciding which name they are meant to use. Some suspected Aegis had gone full supervillain, others thought maybe Azimuth might be behind it all. Rumours of a so-called "Nemesis protocol" spawned even more discussion, especially as the word Nemesis is such a friendly, fluffy term. Aegis have confirmed they are looking for her, whilst pound shop evil corp, Azimuth have claimed that clearly her distrust of people is Aegis' fault and has nothing to do with them experimenting on her for so long.
CONGRESS VOTES AGAINST HUDSON CONTRAVENTION - 21 March 3309
In a shocking twist of actual democracy, Hudson's attempt at full blown supervillainy has been defeated in the Federal Congress. The Hudson Convention was beaten by a small majority and as such Zachary Hudson will not be able to continue past his current term. In a move alien to modern western politics, Hudson has graciously said "Fair do's, I'll let someone else have a go". Whilst Hudson will no doubt remain a significant figure of power, due to having some of the best artwork, a new Federal President will be taking the reigns later in the year. A host of candidates with difficult to spell names have put themselves forward for both the Republican and Liberal parties and there's also still trillionaire Zachary "what could possibly go wrong" Rackham's bid to consider.
FAR GOD CULTISTS RESCUE SEO JIN-AE - 23 March 3309
The Far God Cult, best known for clinging desperately to the idea of peace whilst having their face burned off by overly aggressive star crumpets, have announced they have found and rescused Seo Jin-ae. Their beloved messiah was brought into the Luyten's Star System aboard the megaship 'Testament'. The Far God Cult regaled the wonderous tales of how their "Preceptor" was brought to them by divine providence, before leaving on the grounds that she has "really important work to do and isn't at all desperately trying to get away from the crazy people who think the starfish of death are really lovely guys". Their arrival in collecting Seo Jin-ae prompted a bunch of nefarious vessels who were hunting her into disappearing back into the shadows. So ominous, oooh. Seo Jin-ae is currently undergoing medical evaluation but is expected to share more details once things have calmed down. As a thank-you, The Far God Cult have been given a week to go away before everyone remembers that they hate them now.
That's all we have for this week. A big shout out to the unknowable horrors from beyond reality for not consuming all of existence again. We appreciate you.
The sands of time ebb and flow as they who lurk beyond mortal comprehension watch our every move with otherworldly disdain. As we continue our slow march towards irrelevance in the grand cosmos, it is time to check out what's been going on in the news!
RUMOURS CIRCULATE AROUND SEO JIN-AE - 20 March 3309
The artist formally known as D2 has been the subject of speculation and conspiracy theories this week. After legging it out of a totally benign medical facility with clearly no ulterior motives, Seo Jin-ae was reported to have put on a leather jacket, shades and said "I have unfinished business with Salvation" in an overly deep voice. They then promptly disappeared off the map leaving people lost, confused and still having difficulty deciding which name they are meant to use. Some suspected Aegis had gone full supervillain, others thought maybe Azimuth might be behind it all. Rumours of a so-called "Nemesis protocol" spawned even more discussion, especially as the word Nemesis is such a friendly, fluffy term. Aegis have confirmed they are looking for her, whilst pound shop evil corp, Azimuth have claimed that clearly her distrust of people is Aegis' fault and has nothing to do with them experimenting on her for so long.
CONGRESS VOTES AGAINST HUDSON CONTRAVENTION - 21 March 3309
In a shocking twist of actual democracy, Hudson's attempt at full blown supervillainy has been defeated in the Federal Congress. The Hudson Convention was beaten by a small majority and as such Zachary Hudson will not be able to continue past his current term. In a move alien to modern western politics, Hudson has graciously said "Fair do's, I'll let someone else have a go". Whilst Hudson will no doubt remain a significant figure of power, due to having some of the best artwork, a new Federal President will be taking the reigns later in the year. A host of candidates with difficult to spell names have put themselves forward for both the Republican and Liberal parties and there's also still trillionaire Zachary "what could possibly go wrong" Rackham's bid to consider.
FAR GOD CULTISTS RESCUE SEO JIN-AE - 23 March 3309
The Far God Cult, best known for clinging desperately to the idea of peace whilst having their face burned off by overly aggressive star crumpets, have announced they have found and rescused Seo Jin-ae. Their beloved messiah was brought into the Luyten's Star System aboard the megaship 'Testament'. The Far God Cult regaled the wonderous tales of how their "Preceptor" was brought to them by divine providence, before leaving on the grounds that she has "really important work to do and isn't at all desperately trying to get away from the crazy people who think the starfish of death are really lovely guys". Their arrival in collecting Seo Jin-ae prompted a bunch of nefarious vessels who were hunting her into disappearing back into the shadows. So ominous, oooh. Seo Jin-ae is currently undergoing medical evaluation but is expected to share more details once things have calmed down. As a thank-you, The Far God Cult have been given a week to go away before everyone remembers that they hate them now.
That's all we have for this week. A big shout out to the unknowable horrors from beyond reality for not consuming all of existence again. We appreciate you.
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