Greetings Commanders!
Brew up a fresh cup of tea, sit back, relax and lets chill out together to the 'Dystopian soundscapes megamix' playlist. It's GalNet Round Up time!
XENO-PEACERS REJECT PREDICTION OF WAR - 14 November
Having been presented with the news that the rogue signal sources are really big and Thargoid in origin, unsurprisingly most of the galaxy has expressed mild concern. Fear not though, the pro-Xenos peace groups are here to let you know that the horrifying screams from beyond are just an attempt to recreate the soothing songs of Taylor Swift by a species without human vocal chords. They say there is no need to panic and that there is really no proof that these signals mean anything other than a jolly opportunity for a good chin wag between species...assuming they have chins of course...
PUBLIC UNNERVED BY PALIN ANNOUNCEMENT - 15 November
News that the giant wibbly things are Thargoid in origin and that none of the Superpowers appear to be willing to sit down and work together to stop a potential global genocide has left quite a few people a bit perturbed. People are flocking to the streets to demand their governments take action. No government would ignore their populace demanding that they avert incoming disaster would they?
COALSACK NEBULA REPORTS THARGOID ACTIVITY - 15 November
"Honey, there's a Thargoid in the garden!"
"What's it doing?"
"It's just standing there. Menacingly."
Thargoids have started to show up in the Coalsack Nebula but unnervingly have decided to just kind of float around and not actually vaporize people. Are they waiting for orders from on high? Is some tremendous event unfurling or did they all forget to refuel and are too embarrassed to call the Fuel Rats? Our only course of action is to sit there and try not to freak out. I SAID DON'T FREAK OUT!!
THE KINGFISHER XENO-PEACE MISSION - 17 November
"We're building a ship. A friendship". Dalton Chase and all those other well meaning "No stop shooting the weird things" folks are getting together to go out and meet the giant wibbly Tharg things when they arrive. They're hoping a box of expensive chocolates and a smile will help make up for the attempted genocide just a few months ago. Will the incomprehensible alien entities from the beyond be open to a friendly fireside chat or is the Kingfisher about to find out the oven's on? Either way, they're asking for people to bring them supplies and help keep those supplies safe so head on over and lend them a hand!
That's it for this week, check in next time when we discover the meaning of life and learn that it was as pointless and irrelevant as we always knew it would be.
Brew up a fresh cup of tea, sit back, relax and lets chill out together to the 'Dystopian soundscapes megamix' playlist. It's GalNet Round Up time!
XENO-PEACERS REJECT PREDICTION OF WAR - 14 November
Having been presented with the news that the rogue signal sources are really big and Thargoid in origin, unsurprisingly most of the galaxy has expressed mild concern. Fear not though, the pro-Xenos peace groups are here to let you know that the horrifying screams from beyond are just an attempt to recreate the soothing songs of Taylor Swift by a species without human vocal chords. They say there is no need to panic and that there is really no proof that these signals mean anything other than a jolly opportunity for a good chin wag between species...assuming they have chins of course...
PUBLIC UNNERVED BY PALIN ANNOUNCEMENT - 15 November
News that the giant wibbly things are Thargoid in origin and that none of the Superpowers appear to be willing to sit down and work together to stop a potential global genocide has left quite a few people a bit perturbed. People are flocking to the streets to demand their governments take action. No government would ignore their populace demanding that they avert incoming disaster would they?
COALSACK NEBULA REPORTS THARGOID ACTIVITY - 15 November
"Honey, there's a Thargoid in the garden!"
"What's it doing?"
"It's just standing there. Menacingly."
Thargoids have started to show up in the Coalsack Nebula but unnervingly have decided to just kind of float around and not actually vaporize people. Are they waiting for orders from on high? Is some tremendous event unfurling or did they all forget to refuel and are too embarrassed to call the Fuel Rats? Our only course of action is to sit there and try not to freak out. I SAID DON'T FREAK OUT!!
THE KINGFISHER XENO-PEACE MISSION - 17 November
"We're building a ship. A friendship". Dalton Chase and all those other well meaning "No stop shooting the weird things" folks are getting together to go out and meet the giant wibbly Tharg things when they arrive. They're hoping a box of expensive chocolates and a smile will help make up for the attempted genocide just a few months ago. Will the incomprehensible alien entities from the beyond be open to a friendly fireside chat or is the Kingfisher about to find out the oven's on? Either way, they're asking for people to bring them supplies and help keep those supplies safe so head on over and lend them a hand!
That's it for this week, check in next time when we discover the meaning of life and learn that it was as pointless and irrelevant as we always knew it would be.
(now you're speakin' my language)
