GalNet News Roundup - 2 June 3309

Paul_Crowther

Community Manager
Frontier
Greetings all!

The hourglass spins once more, mainly because it's been yeeted across the room, and another week prepares to crash and burn into the oncoming lane of the next one. It's roundup time!

GalNetRoundUp02062023.png


THARGOID WAR UPDATE: MAY 3309 - 29 May 3309
The great war with the angry space pastries enters into a new phase, as humanity uncovers the dark secrets of what nightmares were lurking inside the Maelstroms. Vox Galactica’s Jade Sanderlyn has been reporting back on the new Thargoid variants, from the colossal frisbees of malice referred to as 'Titans' through to the spinning living blender blades known as 'Glaives'. With so many horrific new variants to be extra xenophobic about the human race is having a bit of a panic attack about what to be scared of first. Of course, it's not all doom gloom and ships going kaboom, thanks to the work of Independent Pilots, improvements are on their way for the Xeno Scanner, so you can really identify what the thing that is about to reduce you to atoms actually is.


HADRIAN DUVAL REMARKS ON ‘WEAK EMPEROR’ - 30 May 3309
Today on "Dumb ways to die", Hadrian "No one has looked at me in 5 minutes" Duval has decided that when everyone is ultra stressed, trying not to die in a fiery conflagration of alien energy fire, is the perfect time to throw insults at the Emperor for working with others so all human society isn't snuffed out. Because if there is one thing an intergalactic Imperialist nation ruled by an iron fist is known for, it's really taking it on the chin when someone gets a bit uppity. Whilst Hadrian tries to see how many sniper targets he can paint on himself in one go, Aisling Duval is busy working with military leaders and experts to really level up her leadership stats. Will the Emperor ignore these claims or is Hadrian about to discover how actions have consequences? Only time will tell...assuming humanity lives that long.


PULSE WAVE XENO SCANNER NOW AVAILABLE - 1 June 3309
It's good news for scientists who want to see how close they can stick their faces into certain death, the improved Pulse Wave Xeno Scanner is now available! Thanks to pilots who gathered all the necessary supplies to start mass producing the improved scanners, Aegis is happy to reveal that the tools are now ready. These new scanners will help gather new data on the Thargoid titans, helping progress scientific discoveries, tactical data and what their current wifi password is. Rewards are now available at Muller Terminal in the Rabh system for all those who transported supplies for this project.


That's it for this week. As the Gjallarhorn sounds out to signal the end of days, lets take a moment to look back at our lives and really see what we have accomplished. Ah...Well...that's disappointing...
 
Greetings all!

The hourglass spins once more, mainly because it's been yeeted across the room, and another week prepares to crash and burn into the oncoming lane of the next one. It's roundup time!




HADRIAN DUVAL REMARKS ON ‘WEAK EMPEROR’ - 30 May 3309
Today on "Dumb ways to die", Hadrian "No one has looked at me in 5 minutes" Duval has decided that when everyone is ultra stressed, trying not to die in a fiery conflagration of alien energy fire, is the perfect time to throw insults at the Emperor for working with others so all human society isn't snuffed out. Because if there is one thing an intergalactic Imperialist nation ruled by an iron fist is know for, it's really taking it on the chin when someone gets a bit uppity. Whilst Hadrian tries to see how many sniper targets he can paint on himself in one go, Aisling Duval is busy working with military leaders and experts to really level up her leadership stats. Will the Emperor ignore these claims or is Hadrian about to discover how actions have consequences? Only time will tell...assuming humanity lives that long.

...
I do wonder who has the better long term prospects, the uppity loudmouth Duval or the increasingly competent one.
 
Greetings all!

The hourglass spins once more, mainly because it's been yeeted across the room, and another week prepares to crash and burn into the oncoming lane of the next one. It's roundup time!

View attachment 357387

THARGOID WAR UPDATE: MAY 3309 - 29 May 3309
The great war with the angry space pastries enters into a new phase, as humanity uncovers the dark secrets of what nightmares were lurking inside the Maelstroms. Vox Galactica’s Jade Sanderlyn has been reporting back on the new Thargoid variants, from the colossal frisbees of malice referred to as 'Titans' through to the spinning living blender blades known as 'Glaives'. With so many horrific new variants to be extra xenophobic about the human race is having a bit of a panic attack about what to be scared of first. Of course, it's not all doom gloom and ships going kaboom, thanks to the work of Independent Pilots, improvements are on their way for the Xeno Scanner, so you can really identify what the thing that is about to reduce you to atoms actually is.


HADRIAN DUVAL REMARKS ON ‘WEAK EMPEROR’ - 30 May 3309
Today on "Dumb ways to die", Hadrian "No one has looked at me in 5 minutes" Duval has decided that when everyone is ultra stressed, trying not to die in a fiery conflagration of alien energy fire, is the perfect time to throw insults at the Emperor for working with others so all human society isn't snuffed out. Because if there is one thing an intergalactic Imperialist nation ruled by an iron fist is known for, it's really taking it on the chin when someone gets a bit uppity. Whilst Hadrian tries to see how many sniper targets he can paint on himself in one go, Aisling Duval is busy working with military leaders and experts to really level up her leadership stats. Will the Emperor ignore these claims or is Hadrian about to discover how actions have consequences? Only time will tell...assuming humanity lives that long.


PULSE WAVE XENO SCANNER NOW AVAILABLE - 1 June 3309
It's good news for scientists who want to see how close they can stick their faces into certain death, the improved Pulse Wave Xeno Scanner is now available! Thanks to pilots who gathered all the necessary supplies to start mass producing the improved scanners, Aegis is happy to reveal that the tools are now ready. These new scanners will help gather new data on the Thargoid titans, helping progress scientific discoveries, tactical data and what their current wifi password is. Rewards are now available at Muller Terminal in the Rabh system for all those who transported supplies for this project.


That's it for this week. As the Gjallarhorn sounds out to signal the end of days, lets take a moment to look back at our lives and really see what we have accomplished. Ah...Well...that's disappointing...
I only have one request: That these turn up in my CMDRs inbox ingame like the Aegis announcements did recently. It's not fair that only us forumites get to see these IMO. o7
 

rootsrat

Volunteer Moderator
More like ... "Why do humans not breathe ammonia", "human melting time in Caustic", and "Do Cats rule humans"
And in the crazy parts of Thargoid Interwebs (insectoids, teehee) some wacko Goids will be claiming mental theories, that humans and Guardians coexisted once and that Guardians now rule humans, as they have transferred themselves into cat bodies and so on...
 
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