Galnet remixed - get creative and get stuff off your chest!

[madbilly]

Hi CMDRs,
The galnet article about the Onionhead CGs made me laugh ironically - this statement from the purple mob could really be about anything. Considering all the PvP debates that have been going on recently (and I'm more of a PvE person myself, but ED without Open doesn't make sense to me) I thought I'd get you all started with a (hopefully) tongue in cheek remix:

"Outlawing activities like murder serves only to criminalise otherwise law-abiding citizens and put money in the pockets of lawyers. Thanks to the galactic community, we now have the means to conduct further research into murder and prove beyond doubt that not only is it harmless, it possesses considerable health benefits."

I hope the solicitors, barristers, etc among you can see the funny side. Other words I thought of were heroine, speeding, griefing, piracy, bounty hunters, insurance companies, local councils....

Enjoy yourselves, I'm off to try the total recall race!

 

[Julio Montega]

Ok here is one of my misreads:

The Canary Mining Corporation has announced plans to improve mining in the HIP 93377 system by asking independent pilots to deliver mineral extractors to Kooi Gateway, for the development of improved material-processing facilities at the station.

A spokesperson for the corporation made the following statement:

"The new equipment will allow us to efficiently collect, process and store larger quantities of minerals and metals than ever before, as well as offer a wider range of components to independent shipbuilders working on the dreadnought."

The organisation has promised to reward those who deliver the much-needed equipment to Kooi Gateway in the HIP 93377 system.

The campaign begins on the 7th of April 3302 and will run for one week. If the federal dreadnought is built earlier than planned, the campaign will end immediately.

And not to forget a real fed-response:

The Federal campaign against Onionhead suffered a setback this week when its 'Hand in the Head' initiative received only modest support from the indoctrinated mob. Despite the best efforts of hired mercenaries, a competing scheme to start actual research into the drug proved more popular with the public. But although the Federal campaign enjoyed only limited success, 'Onionhead tzar' Edward Bores remained bullish.

"It's true that we hoped to bribe more outlaws," said Bores, "but this is still a significant success. Thousands of tonnes of Onionhead have now been delivered to blackmarkets, paying the criminal networks that thrive on the sale and distribution of this dangerous drug."

 

[madbilly]

Haha, very good, especially the Fed response on the Onionhead CG, so true. I like the idea that the mining equipment is being used to secretly build a new battleship (maybe it's true!).

This remixing idea has really taken off, I can't believe how popular it is! Now I just need to work out how to get sarcasm across properly using only text.

 

[Julio Montega]

I suggest you use the *sarkasto-marker*
Give it some time, the idea of misread news is quite cool,
the memes needed to start somewhere too.