GalNot™ - 25 MAR 3308 - Hired Help Saves Fed Bacon

Rubbernuke

Rubbernuke
huzoolande2r.jpg


Commanders have eliminated terrorists threatening the strategic bacon supply in the Gliese 868 system.

The group, known as 'The Butties' were responsible for multiple raids on Bacon Port while Federal security services were distracted by President Hudsons edgier new look. The group violently oppose the Federations definition of bacon, describing it as "inedible cardboard and a mockery of the real thing", vowing to destroy all traces of the 'inferior' version and 'put bacon where it belongs- in a sandwich with ketchup'.

Richard Danepak from Gliese 868 Services, which organised the counter-offensive against the pirates announced:

“The combat expertise of Federal Navy auxiliaries and independent pilots has succeeded in driving back these ruthless fringe lunatics, saving the precious cured meat from 'the butty'. We will be pleased to reimburse bounty vouchers at Bacon Port in Gliese 868 soon.”
 

Darth Ender

D
But what kind of bacon was saved?

edit: and what happens with all of the grease? Is it dumped into space to form a field of bacon butter roids? can we mine the bacon butter roids?
 
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Bottom Hat

Bottom Hat
Rubbernuke said:
Shamed Blue Peter presenter Richard Bacon?

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Ewww, don't devalue your work like that mate!
(I think I've remembered his name, but going to google I first in case it's the name of someone unpleasant....!)

Darth Ender said:
But what kind of bacon was saved?

edit: and what happens with all of the grease? Is it dumped into space to form a field of bacon butter roids? can we mine the bacon butter roids?
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Well nobody fights over american bacon, as they don't have it in the future! But I love the idea of giant bacon lard balls forming their own belt in space!

Darth Wonko said:
Two thoughts:

1. I can't wait for the grand opening of the Zachary Hudson School for Kids That Can't Read Good and Want to Do Other Things Good, Too (as long as it's not a school for ants!):
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2. Thank God we saved this national treasure:

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Eewwww, number 2 is pig nose man. And he's been over here for the last couple of years, doing crap tv adverts for a cellphone provider.

I imagine this is because they no longer let pig nose people back through CBP. And they are right.
 

Darth Wonko

Darth Wonko
Bottom Hat said:
Well nobody fights over american bacon, as they don't have it in the future! But I love the idea of giant bacon lard balls forming their own belt in space!

Eewwww, number 2 is pig nose man. And he's been over here for the last couple of years, doing crap tv adverts for a cellphone provider.

I imagine this is because they no longer let pig nose people back through CBP. And they are right.
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Okay... now you've made me mad.

First, American bacon is good. It's not like those commie Canadians up there confusing bacon with a slice of ham and being all polite and stuff.

And second, without Kevin Bacon in the 80's, we wouldn't know that dancing is okay.

You keep it up, and I'll revoke your cuddling privileges!
 

Bottom Hat

Bottom Hat
Darth Wonko said:
Okay... now you've made me mad.

First, American bacon is good. It's not like those commie Canadians up there confusing bacon with a slice of ham and being all polite and stuff.

And second, without Kevin Bacon in the 80's, we wouldn't know that dancing is okay.

You keep it up, and I'll revoke your cuddling privileges!
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With all due respect to American bacon, I have omitted canadian excuses from the equation. It is a British to American debate, of which american is rubbish. I believe that SotG termed it Fakon as a collective.

We may have to disagree on this, although I am very unsettled by your threat of revoking my cuddling privileges. I may have to give this some serious thought.

Kevin pig nose Fakon is a good actor, at least back when dancing solved things, I can't deny this. But I stand by the fact that he has a snout, and this is disturbing. Put him in a pig pen, and even the pigs can't tell the difference.
 

Darth Ender

D
Rubbernuke said:
A rival publication. GalNot is the online version of Cobra Magazine and The Pirate Star.
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I think it troubling that years ago it was known that Torval's head could roam free like a spider...and now we hear rumors of space spiders attacking researchers. How horrifying would it be if they all were Torval Heads? With Torval's full human form being just a disguise the Space Spiders have used to gain access to humanity's highest level of government!
 

Darth Ender

D
Bottom Hat said:
With all due respect to American bacon, I have omitted canadian excuses from the equation. It is a British to American debate, of which american is rubbish. I believe that SotG termed it Fakon as a collective.

We may have to disagree on this, although I am very unsettled by your threat of revoking my cuddling privileges. I may have to give this some serious thought.

Kevin pig nose Fakon is a good actor, at least back when dancing solved things, I can't deny this. But I stand by the fact that he has a snout, and this is disturbing. Put him in a pig pen, and even the pigs can't tell the difference.
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Your pork chop slice masquerading as bacon is the version that time will have forgotten once we are in the stars. Bacon should not be something you feel good about eating an entire sandwich consisting just of it. You should be scared, or have given up all hope to do such a thing. That's what makes Real (tm) Bacon the better bacon.
 

Erei

Erei
Bottom Hat said:
I should have mentioned that European bacon is the same as British bacon. In other words, it is bacon, not fakon crap.
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I wouldn't go that far. I'm sorry if I shock you with the following picture. But this is how bacon look like here :
bacon.jpg

It seems different than the picture and movie bacon I saw from the brits and US. Also, it simply can't be cooked to be "crunchy". I tried, and failed.

Therefore, I assume this is not the kind of bacon you are accustomed for. In truth, it's safe to say I probably never tasted the original bacon you guys enjoy so much.


What seems to be bacon is actually called "lard" in French, but it is not something I ate, and it seems to be cooked very differently.
 
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Bottom Hat

Bottom Hat
Erei said:
I wouldn't go that far. I'm sorry if I shock you with the following picture. But this is how bacon look like here :
bacon.jpg

It seems different than the picture and movie bacon I saw from the brits and US. Also, it simply can't be cooked to be "crunchy". I tried, and failed.

Therefore, I assume this is not the kind of bacon you are accustomed for. In truth, it's safe to say I probably never tasted the original bacon you guys enjoy so much.


What seems to be bacon is actually called "lard" in French, but it is not something I ate, and it seems to be cooked very differently.
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Shhhh, don't say these sort of things when Ender is around - he has an obsession with fakon being the best type of bacon, and is wrong because he is Ender!

And actually, tbh that looks like very thick cut bacon without the end bit that we get, so looks closer to a pork chop, or somewhere in between.

Plus, don't forget the most important thing - you guys know how to cook and make food sexy over there, which genuinely is a secret admiration that all Brits have, although very few would admit it! ;)
 

Rubbernuke

Rubbernuke
Bottom Hat said:
I should have mentioned that European bacon is the same as British bacon. In other words, it is bacon, not fakon crap.
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Sadly this is not true. In France bacon is either in the form of little bits or is like streaky (useful for Xmas). The true, proper and final form of bacon we know only exists in the UK and other allied countries like Denmark.

Luckily there are specialist guerilla farms and companies in France who offer real bacon and on occasion I order some 'special meat'.

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