Don't know where you got that info that you can't buy pepper spray, bullet proof vests or guns in Germany or France.
You're able to buy the first two without any control over here and guns after you fulfill the requirements (gun cabinet, registration, etc).
What you're not able to buy are weapons made for war (fully automatic weapons (although you can buy a weapon that was fully automatic if it was downgraded to semi automatic), mines, grenade launchers, flame throwers, hand grenades, anti tank weapons, etc).
Do you need a fully automatic assault rifle with 30+ rounds to protect your family? If yes, you should consider moving to an area where you don't need them (like out of Iraq or Syria).