General / Off-Topic How do I deal with my schoolyard bullies now being better off than me?

[Deleted member 110222]

Okay guys, there you have it. My views are largely because my school bullies, who categorically made it impossible for me to progress in school, are now enjoying cushy life's with money and love.

What do I have? £50-£100 a month and outside the Internet, about three friends my own age. Most people I talk to regularly are twice my age.

Meanwhile, I quite often have to see firsthand the delightful lives my bullies now live. One around here drives a bloody Mercedes. New one. But the stuff he did to me... Oh good grief, let's not get into details.

I'm really struggling right now. There's so much I see other people have, and I can't help but think that if I weren't bullied, I'd have that too.

Instead, I was bullied, and now I'm even lower in society than I was as the "runt" at school.

The problem is, I'm now powerless as a result. I can't get back to school. Too expensive. Can't work. Nobody will hire a psychotic crazy-kid. No, I'm not doing charity work. Let me be blunt. If I'm working for someone, I want a wage. No wage, no deal.

Selfish? Very. But any more selfish than those sods who saw me as a toy to destroy?

So here I am. I mean, I can live my life as is. But it's infuriating, because I know that if I were never bullied, I'd be better off. But that was robbed of me.

I think I need to talk to Samaratins again. I can feel it in my head. I'm about to blow a gasket.

 

[GJ51]

Stop comparing yourself to others

There will ALWAYS be people more fortunate and better off than you as well as those who are worse off

Be the best YOU you can be

Physical and mental health go together. Diet, exercise, and nutrition are essential to both mental and physical well being

You can always choose between excuses and solutions to you own situation

Make your choices wisely and accept accountability for them. It's your life, make the most of it.

Be well

 

[Deleted member 110222]

Stop comparing yourself to others

There will ALWAYS be people more fortunate and better off than you as well as those who are worse off

Be the best YOU you can be

Physical and mental health go together. Diet, exercise, and nutrition are essential to both mental and physical well being

You can always choose between excuses and solutions to you own situation

Make your choices wisely and accept accountability for them. It's your life, make the most of it.

Be well

A lot of people I can deal with being better off. But why should my bullies have everything at my expense? I owe them nothing.

Honestly, I make no secret here. I'm glad that their tax money buys me what little I have.

But I would rather earn it. Apparently though, that's not something I'm allowed to do. Employers say no, doctors say no, everyone says no.

How do I retaliate?

 

[StiTch]

Stop comparing yourself to others

Hear, hear.

un1k0rn, I love ya man, and I can empathise with some of the crap that's been thrown at you...but for the love of mercy if you spend your life wallowing in it then righteous or not, wallowing is all you'll achieve, and it really is as simple as that.

When life give you lemons, forget the lemons ever existed and go start a farm that produces something more exciting, such as wine grapes...

How do I retaliate?

Stop thinking about retaliation and think about what you can do to improve your life.

 

[nigeljk]

You are forgetting that you should not judge a book by its cover. The new Merc (apart from the fact it's a dismal car), is probably not theirs (CPC hire etc). They're probably up to their eyes in debt. Life is what you make it, it you want material things at all costs you know what to do, but remember it comes at a cost.

 

[Hell Razor5543]

I remember once coming up with a phrase that helped somebody to get a better perspective on their life. Once they started using it (and BELIEVING it) they were able to start turning their life around. Maybe this phrase could help you as well.

"You at the best in the world at what you do best, and what you do best is to be yourself!.

This is true.

 

[Jenner]

How do you know they're better off than you?

There's more to live than having a Mercedes. They could be miserable for all you know. In abusive relationships. Depressed even more than yourself.

Strive for fulfillment on your own terms - not someone else's.

 

[Deleted member 110222]

Hear, hear.

un1k0rn, I love ya man, and I can empathise with some of the crap that's been thrown at you...but for the love of mercy if you spend your life wallowing in it then righteous or not, wallowing is all you'll achieve, and it really is as simple as that.

When life give you lemons, forget the lemons ever existed and go start a farm that produces something more exciting, such as wine grapes...



Stop thinking about retaliation and think about what you can do to improve your life.

The problem is I'm a sick, twisted individual who has no skills because any chance to learn any was blocked by some thug grabbing your arm and asking why I'm hitting myself.

I have nothing to build upon. There is no groundwork. It was all blown up by dynamite.

 

[TimWellens]

Okay guys, there you have it. My views are largely because my school bullies, who categorically made it impossible for me to progress in school, are now enjoying cushy life's with money and love.

What do I have? £50-£100 a month and outside the Internet, about three friends my own age. Most people I talk to regularly are twice my age.

Meanwhile, I quite often have to see firsthand the delightful lives my bullies now live. One around here drives a bloody Mercedes. New one. But the stuff he did to me... Oh good grief, let's not get into details.

I'm really struggling right now. There's so much I see other people have, and I can't help but think that if I weren't bullied, I'd have that too.

Instead, I was bullied, and now I'm even lower in society than I was as the "runt" at school.

The problem is, I'm now powerless as a result. I can't get back to school. Too expensive. Can't work. Nobody will hire a psychotic crazy-kid. No, I'm not doing charity work. Let me be blunt. If I'm working for someone, I want a wage. No wage, no deal.

Selfish? Very. But any more selfish than those sods who saw me as a toy to destroy?

So here I am. I mean, I can live my life as is. But it's infuriating, because I know that if I were never bullied, I'd be better off. But that was robbed of me.

I think I need to talk to Samaratins again. I can feel it in my head. I'm about to blow a gasket.

So...GET UP! Forget the past!
Go outside and have a blast!
Because the end of the world is upon us,pretty soon it will all turn to dust

o7

 

[Rob At Work]

My little life phrase for situations like this is - "in the race to the bottom, I'M WINNING!"

Take care of yourself man!

 

[GJ51]

A lot of people I can deal with being better off. But why should my bullies have everything at my expense? I owe them nothing.

Honestly, I make no secret here. I'm glad that their tax money buys me what little I have.

But I would rather earn it. Apparently though, that's not something I'm allowed to do. Employers say no, doctors say no, everyone says no.

How do I retaliate?

Re-read and examine what you've just done in reply to my post.

You've ignored the core of what I've suggested to again blame "employers, doctors, and everyone" for the situation you are in rather than re-focusing your time and energy toward self-improvement.

If you don't Love and Respect yourself others won't either

Progress starts with introspection, acceptance, self accountability, and most importantly - a decision to take control of your life and work hard at being who you want to be. Take control, steer your ship toward that place you want to be.

 

[Deleted member 110222]

Re-read and examine what you've just done in reply to my post.

You've ignored the core of what I've suggested to again blame "employers, doctors, and everyone" for the situation you are in rather than re-focusing your time and energy toward self-improvement.

If you don't Love and Respect yourself others won't either

Progress starts with introspection, acceptance, self accountability, and most importantly - a decision to take control of your life and work hard at being who you want to be. Take control, steer your ship toward that place you want to be.

Yet everyone loves those bullies, and they didn't have to prove themselves. They just got lucky.

 

[StiTch]

The problem is I'm a sick, twisted individual who has no skills because any chance to learn any was blocked by some thug grabbing your arm and asking why I'm hitting myself.

I have nothing to build upon. There is no groundwork. It was all blown up by dynamite.

Everyone is their own shade of sick and twisted. If anyone I know is not sick or twisted in some way, I quickly revert to not knowing them, and they would truly not be worth knowing.

Ultimately you can be given this advice and more a thousand times over, and if at the end you drop to the floor complaining about your foundation being blown up, it counts for squat. I can't fix your life, and neither can anyone else here; at the end of the day you have to find the motivation to achieve change.

The simplest way to achieve a happier life is to...well, be happy. It sounds silly on itself, but just...ya know, do what you love, and damn business success. It took me years of seeking employment and years of development to end up where I am in IT, but I'm dropping it all because I bloody hate it. I mean jeez man, if someone gets wood sitting in an office all day good on them, but it doesn't make me wake up excited for work - and I've realised that simply isn't acceptable.

Take a moment to think about what makes you happy and then whatever that is, invest yourself in it.

 

[Hell Razor5543]

AR, I hope to get the weekend off work to go to the Reading Elite Meet. If you can go there will be people who are (to a degree) likeminded who will be happy to talk to you. I certainly will.

https://forums.frontier.co.uk/showt...-Community-Meet-(Reading)-and-Portland-Oregon!

 

[TopCat160]

Not that I feel qualified to comment on your situation, one thing I would say is this:

The universe is not fair. It doesn't care, and it doesn't owe you anything.

Karma is not real. Bad people do sometimes get away with it, at the expense of good people. It sucks, but that's the way it is.

Understanding that there is no fairness built into the universe will at least be a realistic place to start, and it might help with not wasting your effort looking for reasons for things, when in reality there aren't any.

Best of luck.

 

[Sir.Tj]

Going to be a bit harsh here but...

Stop worrying about what they are doing and how well they are doing etc and get off your backside and do something about sorting your own life out.

There's not a lot you can do about how others live their lives but you damn well can do something about your own life.

Get the help you need to build yourself a great life and hopefully at some point you can look back and realise that you've improved your life for the better.

Sorry if that comes accross of a bit harsh, but it's a very similar conversation I've had with my kids in the past and sometimes a bit of tough love can be good.

 

[Rob At Work]

Thanks Dad!

 

[Sir.Tj]

Thanks Dad!

Yeah I do tend to go into Dad mode quite easily I'm afraid.

But honestly, stop worrying about others and set yourself some goal and start going for them.

You are the master of your own destiny.

 

[Deleted member 110222]

Going to be a bit harsh here but...

Stop worrying about what they are doing and how well they are doing etc and get off your backside and do something about sorting your own life out.

There's not a lot you can do about how others live their lives but you damn well can do something about your own life.

Get the help you need to build yourself a great life and hopefully at some point you can look back and realise that you've improved your life for the better.

Sorry if that comes accross of a bit harsh, but it's a very similar conversation I've had with my kids in the past and sometimes a bit of tough love can be good.

But what happens when someone inevitably starts attacking me? Not necessarily punching me in the face, but whenever I try to do anything, someone *will* do everything in their power to stop me, or make me look bad. And they always succeed, because nobody takes me seriously, all because of these labels I've been given.

Sure, I can forget about them, but everyone else doesn't. So they see me as trash, and I'm tossed aside. There's nothing I can do if everyone says no.

Sure I can go outside. But then what? Any progression on that point is dependent on someone else. And because of my asperger's, everyone turns their nose up at me.

So yes, I am reliant on others, as I've got nothing to provide for myself. No skills, no cash, no friends... Nothing.

 

[GJ51]

Yet everyone loves those bullies, and they didn't have to prove themselves. They just got lucky.

Irrelevant

You are clinging to your defense mechanisms to avoid accountability.

"Isn't it funny how lucky you get when you work hard"?