General / Off-Topic I am confused!

Hell Razor5543

H
I know that confusion is a normal state for me, but at this moment I am more confused than normal. I was in Waitrose today, and I found that they had vegetarian Haggis for sale.


Hang on! I thought that the little sods were, at best, omnivorous, and normally were carnivorous. I mean, the Scots use them to guard the borders from marauding Sassenachs, and they would attack if one got within 100 miles. I heard that three Rottweilers cornered an adolescent domesticated Haggis, and it broke their legs (so they could not escape) and then ate them. The only creatures that can manage wild Haggis are wild Picts!


Who the heck is breeding these fakes? It cannot be the Scots, as they have too much fun watching them chase Sassenach tourists around the mountains.
 
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Adept

Adept
800px-Wild_Haggis.jpg_header.jpg
 

Frank

Frank
It's just marketing. Vegetarian Haggis is made out of oatmeal, soya, old newspapers, and god knows what else to get that haggis taste.

All the pictures and drawings you see of haggis gambolling in the Scottish Countryside are false. You wouldn't want to see the photos of how domestic haggis are kept for the purposes of intensive farming. It's more factory than farm.

At least the factory-farmed haggises are keeping the species alive. It is becoming more and more rare to see a wild haggis in its natural habitat. Those areas are being encroached by hill walkers. And yet wild haggis are still being hunted for their meat. Go to a small village butchers and you will often find the "proper" haggis that the supermarket haggis tries to mimic. We should ban wild haggis pudding for a period of time to allow their numbers rise to a more sustainable figure.
 
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