General / Off-Topic I got invited to the Illuminati..
- Thread starter Cosmos
- Start date
Reads like a 419 scam introductory email.
Can't say I've ever been approached by the Illuminati, but I did used to spend significant amounts of time telling Scientologists to leave me alone (in a former career, my walk between the office and the station happened to pass by one of their regular pitches). I am, however, a genuine and authorised Pope of Discordia.
Can't say I've ever been approached by the Illuminati, but I did used to spend significant amounts of time telling Scientologists to leave me alone (in a former career, my walk between the office and the station happened to pass by one of their regular pitches). I am, however, a genuine and authorised Pope of Discordia.
I never thought that the Illuminatis would also fall low
verminstar
Banned
Must be in the air today, I woke up to find Id won 350k on the national health lottery in a letter delivered by the postie.
Couple things sprang to mind while reading it, first being that lottery winners are never contacted by post and secondly, I never bought a ticket. Curiosity got the better of me so I called the number, gave them the referance thingies and then they offered to have the bankers draft delivered by hand courier the very next day...as soon as I paid the 650 quid 'administration fee'
Enjoy the little moments in life...that was a little moment.
Funny thing is I got a very raw throat and could barely speak, only in whispers and my english was very rusty...also my hearing aid battery was on the blink again so after some hilarity with trying to keep the fun outta my whispered husk, I had the guy shouting the instructions down the phone.
A pause while he ran my card details through...followed by a now slightly irate voice informing me of a problem with the payment. I asked him to read the long number back again...three times because my voice was really shaky...had to have him repeat some of the numbers several times damned hearing aid.
Then in a calm and clear voice confirmed that was indeed the number of my local chinese takeaway.
A slight pause...followed by a word I cant repeat and then hung up. Tbh Im surprised he lasted as long as he did...he lasted longer than the last guy who was trying to sell a dodgy pension scheme.
I gave up on owning a pc ages ago...with my browsing habits, getting multiple viruses isnt really a case of if, more like when and besides...thats how they watch us all from their mothership.
Scams are more or less a daily event...I keep a referee whistle beside the phone when I dont have time to wind them up a bit or when I do genuinely owe them money and didnt realize who the call was from. Use a smart phone...easier to replace when its choc full of viruses, just drop it down the toilet and claim off the insurance...brand new iphone in 3 days Bobs yer uncle.
If someone wants my identity then good luck to them...I owe more money out than yer average bankruptcy case and my account has been overdrawn over half my daughters lifetime...shes a teenager now. Everything I own including my car was paid for with cash...I only ever use cash because its harder to trace when its not through a bank...no need to explain where it came when ye never actually had it. The card has some uses...and very tight restrictions on its use ^
Couple things sprang to mind while reading it, first being that lottery winners are never contacted by post and secondly, I never bought a ticket. Curiosity got the better of me so I called the number, gave them the referance thingies and then they offered to have the bankers draft delivered by hand courier the very next day...as soon as I paid the 650 quid 'administration fee'
Enjoy the little moments in life...that was a little moment.
Funny thing is I got a very raw throat and could barely speak, only in whispers and my english was very rusty...also my hearing aid battery was on the blink again so after some hilarity with trying to keep the fun outta my whispered husk, I had the guy shouting the instructions down the phone.
A pause while he ran my card details through...followed by a now slightly irate voice informing me of a problem with the payment. I asked him to read the long number back again...three times because my voice was really shaky...had to have him repeat some of the numbers several times damned hearing aid.
Then in a calm and clear voice confirmed that was indeed the number of my local chinese takeaway.
A slight pause...followed by a word I cant repeat and then hung up. Tbh Im surprised he lasted as long as he did...he lasted longer than the last guy who was trying to sell a dodgy pension scheme.
I gave up on owning a pc ages ago...with my browsing habits, getting multiple viruses isnt really a case of if, more like when and besides...thats how they watch us all from their mothership.
Scams are more or less a daily event...I keep a referee whistle beside the phone when I dont have time to wind them up a bit or when I do genuinely owe them money and didnt realize who the call was from. Use a smart phone...easier to replace when its choc full of viruses, just drop it down the toilet and claim off the insurance...brand new iphone in 3 days Bobs yer uncle.
If someone wants my identity then good luck to them...I owe more money out than yer average bankruptcy case and my account has been overdrawn over half my daughters lifetime...shes a teenager now. Everything I own including my car was paid for with cash...I only ever use cash because its harder to trace when its not through a bank...no need to explain where it came when ye never actually had it. The card has some uses...and very tight restrictions on its use ^
The thing is, looking like it 'was written by a 12 year old' is actually advantageous with such scams. The objective is to attract as many gullible idiots as possible, while filtering out anyone with an ounce of common sense. Sensible people are time-wasters, as far as the scammers are concerned.
The Illuminati was originally a collection of scientists formed to combat the spread of irrational ideas. it's a measure of how successful their opponents were that now they are forever connected with evil conspiracy. Ignorance wins.
'Scientists' is stretching it a bit. As for conspiracy theories, the Illuminati was a secret society. Or at least, tried to be, though they clearly didn't succeed or we wouldn't know about them. The reality was that they achieved next to nothing, and ended up being little more than a branch of Freemasonry at their peak. A footnote in history at best, more interesting for the conspiratorial tosh subsequently written about them than for anything they actually did.
I never thought that the Illuminatis would also fall low
You say that but the after world domination speech meals are very nice....
Somebody really needs to tell this to Tom Hanks!
LOL.
I've been blacklisted by the Jehovah's Witnesses, do I win £5?
Last edited:
verminstar
Banned
We get these young chaps every summer from the US...can spot them a mile away by the way they dress and carry themselves...they just look outta place if ye know what I mean...like they not comfortable but trying to fake it and overdoing it by smiling all the time. This is a dumping ground where the council send the tenants nobody else wants...people who smile all the time are usually considered a tourist or someone not quite right in the head. Or they won a hundred quid on a scratch card.
Not overly bright though...had them cleaning my back yard and the doghouse while I sat playing mass effect 3...they figured it out before they finished the job when I tried sending the one who actually looked a bit simple to the hardware shop fer some tartan paint. He was almost out the door on his way too but his m8 was a bit smarter and called a halt to proceedings.
Fairly sure my address has now been blacklisted...at least I hope it was otherwise next time Ill have to start getting much more creative in how the message gets delivered. At least I was nicer than what others round here have done, Im surprised our entire estate hasnt been blacklisted but they persistant blighters...every year like clockwork...endless entertainment. Its cos they dont seem to understand what the word 'no' means, which means they dont respect the beliefs of others...ergo they dont have theirs respected. Usually by the time they figure it out, the damage is already done and their 'tour'is up...they actually call their time here a tour...its an enlightening thought if ye try and imagine what they think of us if they do 'tours' in the savage land of heathens.
Call themselves missionaries...which is code fer intelligence gatherers for the mothership ^
Last edited: