I can't believe what has just happened....
I've been chosen.... I have a well lit kitchen and a fairly shallow fridge, by fridge standards. I keep things well organized, condiments on the shelves, large items down low, fruits and vegetables easily accessible so I don't forget to eat them...
So when the bulb in my fridge went out a couple years ago at first I was annoyed, but that quickly disappeared. I just didn't care. The bulb might as well not have been there in the first place, I can find everything just fine without it and it's an odd size so pulling it out and going around to the various hardware stores who always use a Schrodinger's cat philosophy on keeping these things in stock (you never know if they do or don't until you personally observe the state of the bulb's position on the shelf in person, not even calling helps) is always more of a chore than I'd like.
So I left it. For about 2 years now I haven't had a functioning bulb in my fridge. My life didn't end tragically, no one else complained, and everything continued to move forward as if nothing had happened.....
Until today.....
I just went and opened my fridge and the light came back on.
Forthwith is my Ultimatum, delivered unto those who would sully the Great Lord of Probability's name and word for the sake of comfort and consistency!
Ye shall cease forthwith the assault upon His Randomness' newest Miracle, the Rngineers of Eliteness. No more will these publications of vile slander against his kith and divine work be tolerated in the name of fair speech and consideration! The Voice of Incidentality shall be the only voice, be it spoken, written or thought within!
All shall embrace the teachings of Coincidental Conjunction, wherein the alignment of those elements sought as succor and wealth shall not be premeditated nor predetermined, but allowed to issue forth of their own abeyance!
Those Non-Converts who continue to turn away from the Word of Stray Causality shall be marked. Their name taken in script and guise to be smitten post-haste. The chosen shall seek these wretched souls out to deliver judgement in the form of Divine Rammings from Uncalculated Trajectories, their hand steadied by the Father of Indiscrimination to better deliver them from this mortal coil to be free among their brethren in the afterlife, where they may more freely contemplate his Directionless Teachings without distraction nor able to provide distraction to his faithful.
Seriously though it came back on after 2 YEARS! How does that happen? I'm going to be playing with my fridge ALL. NIGHT.
I've been chosen.... I have a well lit kitchen and a fairly shallow fridge, by fridge standards. I keep things well organized, condiments on the shelves, large items down low, fruits and vegetables easily accessible so I don't forget to eat them...
So when the bulb in my fridge went out a couple years ago at first I was annoyed, but that quickly disappeared. I just didn't care. The bulb might as well not have been there in the first place, I can find everything just fine without it and it's an odd size so pulling it out and going around to the various hardware stores who always use a Schrodinger's cat philosophy on keeping these things in stock (you never know if they do or don't until you personally observe the state of the bulb's position on the shelf in person, not even calling helps) is always more of a chore than I'd like.
So I left it. For about 2 years now I haven't had a functioning bulb in my fridge. My life didn't end tragically, no one else complained, and everything continued to move forward as if nothing had happened.....
Until today.....
I just went and opened my fridge and the light came back on.
Ladies and Gentleman, RNGesus is real and he hath spoken, as his chosen Prophet I shall rid this land of all of the unwashed Heathens who blaspheme against his teachings!
Forthwith is my Ultimatum, delivered unto those who would sully the Great Lord of Probability's name and word for the sake of comfort and consistency!
Ye shall cease forthwith the assault upon His Randomness' newest Miracle, the Rngineers of Eliteness. No more will these publications of vile slander against his kith and divine work be tolerated in the name of fair speech and consideration! The Voice of Incidentality shall be the only voice, be it spoken, written or thought within!
All shall embrace the teachings of Coincidental Conjunction, wherein the alignment of those elements sought as succor and wealth shall not be premeditated nor predetermined, but allowed to issue forth of their own abeyance!
Those Non-Converts who continue to turn away from the Word of Stray Causality shall be marked. Their name taken in script and guise to be smitten post-haste. The chosen shall seek these wretched souls out to deliver judgement in the form of Divine Rammings from Uncalculated Trajectories, their hand steadied by the Father of Indiscrimination to better deliver them from this mortal coil to be free among their brethren in the afterlife, where they may more freely contemplate his Directionless Teachings without distraction nor able to provide distraction to his faithful.
All Hail RNGesus!
He
Who
Brought
LIGHT!
He
Who
Brought
LIGHT!
Seriously though it came back on after 2 YEARS! How does that happen? I'm going to be playing with my fridge ALL. NIGHT.
