As seen on reddit, yesterday I had some time to kill - I was testing a new control scheme and thought of doing a couple laps at the local CG. For these occasions I usually have a "Trap T9" - a shieldless hull tank packed to the brim with HRP and MRP, hardened PP and FSD with 3x2 Reverb Cascade Torpedos and 2 small SuperPen Railguns, which can still carry 640T of goods.
The first trip is uneventful, I get interdicted by a Challenger which dodges my torps and I low-wake. On the way back I try my luck, and suddenly a Cutter seems to tail me. "It's from Code!" I notice. "He's surely going to try to pirate me, oh boy he's in for a treat!" I giggle, already imagining the surprise on his face.
As expected, he interdicts me - I pretend to put a fight but ultimately submit. As the "good" pirate that he is, he copy-pastes his surrender your goods statement and proceeds to stare me down.
"Hello there!" I boast, "sure enough, I'm about to deploy a special gift for you!" I write while locking the target.
I fire my cylinders of death toward the slow, massive Imperial Cutter, confident that he has no chance to dodge them; they slowly home on his hull, as he watches helplessly from his cockpit... and Boom!
...nothing at all happens. I stare at my controls, his Shield Generator integrity still at a perfect 100%.
"They don't arm if you fire them too close" - he plainly states - "they must fly for at least 2 seconds."
"...Oh." I say, looking at my now empty pylons. "That's embarassing."
"Yes, yes it is." opens fire
I start maneuvering in panic in a hailstorm of beams and shells, trying to remember if I can low-wake from a Cutter, pointlessly plinking at his massive shield with my S1 Railguns... then he retracts hardpoints.
"You know what" he says "Since you didn't know that, I'll let you go this time. You are not even carrying anything of value."
"Hey thanks" I reply "I appreciate that."
"Better fill your hold with Gold next time. My kids are going hungry tonight."
And leaves. Lesson learned - if your gig is a one trick pony, you'd better know that one trick really, really well.
The first trip is uneventful, I get interdicted by a Challenger which dodges my torps and I low-wake. On the way back I try my luck, and suddenly a Cutter seems to tail me. "It's from Code!" I notice. "He's surely going to try to pirate me, oh boy he's in for a treat!" I giggle, already imagining the surprise on his face.
As expected, he interdicts me - I pretend to put a fight but ultimately submit. As the "good" pirate that he is, he copy-pastes his surrender your goods statement and proceeds to stare me down.
"Hello there!" I boast, "sure enough, I'm about to deploy a special gift for you!" I write while locking the target.
I fire my cylinders of death toward the slow, massive Imperial Cutter, confident that he has no chance to dodge them; they slowly home on his hull, as he watches helplessly from his cockpit... and Boom!
...nothing at all happens. I stare at my controls, his Shield Generator integrity still at a perfect 100%.
"They don't arm if you fire them too close" - he plainly states - "they must fly for at least 2 seconds."
"...Oh." I say, looking at my now empty pylons. "That's embarassing."
"Yes, yes it is." opens fire
I start maneuvering in panic in a hailstorm of beams and shells, trying to remember if I can low-wake from a Cutter, pointlessly plinking at his massive shield with my S1 Railguns... then he retracts hardpoints.
"You know what" he says "Since you didn't know that, I'll let you go this time. You are not even carrying anything of value."
"Hey thanks" I reply "I appreciate that."
"Better fill your hold with Gold next time. My kids are going hungry tonight."
And leaves. Lesson learned - if your gig is a one trick pony, you'd better know that one trick really, really well.
Last edited:
