The last mission I took was a little too topical not to share while I'm waiting for my lunch to cook.
"Good morning! Welcome to Stevenson Whirlwind Adventures! My name his Hans. How may we serve you today?"
Action starlet Abby Wong and her entourage looked around the nicely appointed office, located in the habitable ring of Mackenzie Relay station, before focusing her attention on the young man at the receptionist's desk, whose flowing tunic was open from neck to navel, showing off what many in the industry called the Emerald Physique. "Why thank you Hans," she said, pleased to see the young man was keeping things professional, and not gushing over her like a caffeinated fanboy. "I understand you offer custom made tours?"
"Yes, ma'am! Our adventures are custom tailored based on the demands of our customers, unlike a Beluga liner luxury tour. The owner is a member of the Pilot's Federation, and will fly you to your destinations personally aboard her Asp Explorer,
Emerald's Dawn. The first class passenger lounge includes telepresence virtual reality headsets, and for a little bit extra, Commander Stevenson will allow you to sit at the gunnery station below the Commander's Station, so you can experience your adventure personally."
"That sound's perfect! But correct me if I'm wrong, but I though Cmdr. Stevenson flew a Cobra Mark Three."
"That she does, ma'am, the
Slave of the Empire. She recently acquired
Emerald's Dawn to expand her operations both here and on the Imperial/Federal border. Are you familiar with the Commander?"
"Yes! I'm a huge fan of racing, and when I saw she was offering tours, I couldn't resist. I just got cast to portray a pilot in a remake of an ancient action movie, and to better understand my role, I want to experience what it's like to race like that. Would she be willing to accommodate me like that? I'm willing to pay extra."
"Why certainly, ma'am. Just sign this release here, and get outfitted for a Remloc. Your adventure awaits!"
--== 15 minutes later ==--
Abby Wong gingerly settled down in the lower command chair, staring out the bubble of glass before her. She tried to ignore the tightness of the Remloc she was wearing and the tubes in uncomfortable places, and focused instead on the adventure she was about to embark on. This was going to be great!
"Miss Wong, are you ready?"
"I'm ready, Commander Stevenson. And please, call my Abby."
"Then call me Inga, Abby. Rachel, are you and our first class passengers secured?"
"Affirmative, Commander! They're all snug and secure here. Telepresence headsets are connected."
"Excellent. Hang on, Abby. I'm about to activate our Remlocs."
Abby let out a gasp as powerful magnets jerked her backwards into the seat. She could feel several clamps and plugs attach themselves into the back plate of her suit, and parts of the suit began to tighten around her legs and abdomen. "What the hell is... ow! What was that?" Something had just stuck into the back of her neck.
"Didn't you read the instructions? We Emerald girls may be able to endure higher G's than the average human, but you wanted the 'full racing experience.' Unless you want to black out if we require some high-G maneuvers, then the Remloc suit is going to try to keep the blood where it does the most good, and if you really need it, it can pump in some lovely, lovely chems to help you remain functional."
"Is that really necessary, Inga?"
"Be glad this wasn't 20 years ago, Abby. If you think this is bad, the Dreamweaver capsule was ten times worse. Ready to go?"
"Yes! Let's get this show on the road!"
"Roger! Mackenzie Relay Traffic Control, this is Lakon India November Golf, requesting clearance for departure."
"Copy that, Lakon India November Golf. The slot is clear. Try not to damage the toaster rack this time."
Abby frowned.
What did traffic control mean by...
The actress successfully kept from screaming as God kicked her in the back. Hard.
"Dammit, Stevenson! Be careful!"
"Just working out the kinks in the
Dawn's new engines, Control." Above her, Cmdr. Stevenson switched off the comm link. "Hang on to your butt, Abby!"
Not content to simply kick her in the back, God's invisible hand shoved her roughly down into the chair, while the Remloc squeezed her legs mercilessly. Almost unnoticed was the whine of the FSD spooling up.
"One more little tap, Abby, and we'll be making our first jump."
The Almighty kicked her in the back again, as Mackenzie Relay loomed large in front of the ship. The targeting reticle highlighted their destination BEHIND the station. "Wait! I thought we can't jump through things!"
"We're not. We're jumping
between two of the station's support arms."
As the computer's voice finished its down, the Lord of Creation, not content to smack around His new and suddenly very devout believer, settled His vast immensity on Abby's chest.
As
Emerald's Dawn vanished into Witchspace, Abby Wong suddenly remembered an ancient definition of adventure: "Someone else, far away from the comforts of home, up to their necks in ____."
--== One jump later ==--
"Inga! There's smoke billowing from the control panel!" The vertical bridge, while stifling hot, did provide a gorgeous view of the uncomfortably close star below.
"Don't worry, Abby. As long as there's no sparks, the ship's fine. It can take a little heat."
--== On initial approach to the first tourist beacon ==--
"Inga! You're not slowing down! Why aren't you slowing down!"
"Don't worry, we will."
"WHY ARE WE POINTING
TOWARDS THE PLANET?!"
--== At the second tourist beacon ==--
"Where did all this wreckage come from?"
"Abby, sometimes pirates target passenger liners. They rarely hang around afterwards, though."
"Oh. Wait,
rarely?"
--== On initial approach to the third tourist beacon ==--
Remloc suit RL-983A-7-56HT, sensing that its occupant's heart rate was once again unacceptably high, decided it was too soon for a third dose of performance enhancers, so it tried soothing music instead. It also noted that its waste pockets needed to be emptied.
--== Back at MacKenzie Relay ==--
Commander Inga Stevenson shut down
Dawn's engines as the docking pad 38 dropped her ship down into the bowels of the station. Mindful of the low 0.1g pseudo-gravity of the station docking cylinder, she headed towards the gunner's station below her. She wasn't worried about the rest of her passengers. The first class cabins were specially designed to minimize the discomfort of space travel. The Remloc clad woman in the gunner's seat, on the other hand, didn't have that advantage. While she never complained, Inga was still worried about Abby's reaction to her little 'adventure.'
Inga opened the door, and peered nervously inside. "Abby?"
She found herself the recipient of vigorous hug. "Oh my GOD, Inga! That was incredible! And you do this every day?"
"Yeah?"
"We have GOT to do this again the next time we're both in Cemiess. Thanks for the Adventure, Inga. It was worth the whole four million."
_________________
It's long been a private joke of mine that the woman in my signature isn't the
real Inga Stevenson, but the actress who will play Inga Stevenson in the 3310 Achenar Broadcasting Company's miniseries "The Adventures of Inga Stevenson, Slave of the Empire!"
She now has a name. Abby Wong.
13 million down. 2 to go.