No sorry, the developers have said no to this in one of there live streams. Their thoughts were that for PvP wings with 4 ships with 3 players in each one would be too powerful and unkillable.
As a player group ourself that has to deal with this like you do (as it is such great idea for PvE) we group up in crews and then go to a RES and call out targets etc to each other. You need to be good at talking but we find the star wars "red 5 standing by" and "cut the chatter red 2 and lock your S foils in attack position" more than makes up for it!
Just be aware that each crew will kill steal off each other as you are not in a wing so we tend to use our comms to make sure we are after different target from another crew.
Ps. use a third party comms system so you can all chat. (we use steam chat)
Wings and crews like you idea works just as well.
Hope that helps.
Pro tip, if instancing is a problem then play in a private group and you all get together better.
I do get the over powerment of a wing with multicrew....
but I do not understand why they do not let us mix and match wing with multicrew up to a max of 4 players.
So we could have a wing of 2 ships each with one extra player in multicrew. = Total 4
Or a wing of 3 ships, with one of the ships in multicrew with one extra player = total 4
Or a wing of 2 ships, with one ship is multicrew with two extra players = total 4
So mix and match how you like, just the total number of players is not more than 4 in the group.
As it stands now, how fun is multicrew for a small 4 man group? yay, one is gonna be left out, when the other 3 is having fun...