Hello there Ladies and Gentleman,
I know you are all busy people so I will try to make this as brief as possible.
Let me first start with a scenario that you will have all likely encountered.
'You are flying a consignment of Fish from I Bootis to Aulin Enterprises when you are pulled from supercruise to find a tooled up Cobra demanding you hand over your goods.
You've sold those heavy, heavy pulse lasers to help you reach out to the stars and of course, as any smart business person, decrease your fuel bill.
You could of course hand over your cargo, but this was the shipment to get you out of debt, and save you from selling your kids to the Imperial Slavers.'
You are out of options, but not any more!
The good folks from ACME bring you the all new 'LS-D PISCEAN CANNON PLATFORM'
At just under 0.5 tonnes and fitting to any Class 2 Hardpoint, the 'LS-D PCP' can hurl 1/4 of a ton of fish PER SECOND at 9/10 of the speed of light towards your foes.
With ACME's patented atmos-bubble you can rest assured that your 'ammunition' will reach its target as fresh as the moment it was pulled from the sea.
"What do I gain from the atmos-bubble technology?" I hear you ask.
Well the benefits are two fold: Firstly, the energy stored in the atmos-bubble will deplete shields quicker than any beam laser, and secondly, the arrival of fresh fish at 9/10 of the speed of light will not only, deliver a wet 'Slap' that will scare away any 'predator', but the additional mass from the fluids will help carve holes out of the unsuspecting fools hull.
As an additional benefit, if your enemy-turned-prey, manages to escape, the effect of solar radiation on the remains of your ammunition still clinging to their vessel, will bake a unbearable odour into the hull of their ship and believe me when I say that the stink is not easily cleaned away. Not even with ACMEs own great new range of ship cleaning products.
Don't leave yourself at the mercy of criminals and blaggards. Arm youself with ACME's 'LS-D PISCEAN CANNON PLATFORM' today!!
Available from all good independent ship outfitters for a mere 5,499.99 credits.
What's more, the first 1000 customers, will receive a second LS-D PCP for free.
That's right, a 1/2 ton of 'Deadly Piscean Terror' PER SECOND for only 5,499.99.
Buy yours today.
Disclaimer:
Due to ethical and scientific objections the LS-D PCP is not currently legal in Federation space.
Remember that your warranty only covers the projection of fish and NOT mammals. MAKE SURE YOUR AMMUNITION IS DOLPHIN FREE!
The LS-D PCP is currently only in a beta testing state and as such any actual damage to shields or a vessels hull must be seen as purely coincidental.
I know you are all busy people so I will try to make this as brief as possible.
Let me first start with a scenario that you will have all likely encountered.
'You are flying a consignment of Fish from I Bootis to Aulin Enterprises when you are pulled from supercruise to find a tooled up Cobra demanding you hand over your goods.
You've sold those heavy, heavy pulse lasers to help you reach out to the stars and of course, as any smart business person, decrease your fuel bill.
You could of course hand over your cargo, but this was the shipment to get you out of debt, and save you from selling your kids to the Imperial Slavers.'
You are out of options, but not any more!
The good folks from ACME bring you the all new 'LS-D PISCEAN CANNON PLATFORM'
At just under 0.5 tonnes and fitting to any Class 2 Hardpoint, the 'LS-D PCP' can hurl 1/4 of a ton of fish PER SECOND at 9/10 of the speed of light towards your foes.
With ACME's patented atmos-bubble you can rest assured that your 'ammunition' will reach its target as fresh as the moment it was pulled from the sea.
"What do I gain from the atmos-bubble technology?" I hear you ask.
Well the benefits are two fold: Firstly, the energy stored in the atmos-bubble will deplete shields quicker than any beam laser, and secondly, the arrival of fresh fish at 9/10 of the speed of light will not only, deliver a wet 'Slap' that will scare away any 'predator', but the additional mass from the fluids will help carve holes out of the unsuspecting fools hull.
As an additional benefit, if your enemy-turned-prey, manages to escape, the effect of solar radiation on the remains of your ammunition still clinging to their vessel, will bake a unbearable odour into the hull of their ship and believe me when I say that the stink is not easily cleaned away. Not even with ACMEs own great new range of ship cleaning products.
Don't leave yourself at the mercy of criminals and blaggards. Arm youself with ACME's 'LS-D PISCEAN CANNON PLATFORM' today!!
Available from all good independent ship outfitters for a mere 5,499.99 credits.
What's more, the first 1000 customers, will receive a second LS-D PCP for free.
That's right, a 1/2 ton of 'Deadly Piscean Terror' PER SECOND for only 5,499.99.
Buy yours today.
Disclaimer:
Due to ethical and scientific objections the LS-D PCP is not currently legal in Federation space.
Remember that your warranty only covers the projection of fish and NOT mammals. MAKE SURE YOUR AMMUNITION IS DOLPHIN FREE!
The LS-D PCP is currently only in a beta testing state and as such any actual damage to shields or a vessels hull must be seen as purely coincidental.
