"Sounds like you saw some action out there," said the landing pad controller.
"You could say that. I knew that guy was trouble the moment he dropped his Keelback on the landing pad, unloaded his SRV, and sent the ship back into orbit."
"He said he was going to collect some rock sample after he finished his business here," said the controller.
"That was his excuse?"
The controller shrugged. "I've heard weirder reasons."
"Well, anyway, the guy parks his SRV behind the command station and gets out. I spot him sneaking around, peeking in windows, all kinds of crap."
"Did you interrogate him?" asked the controller.
"Not right away. The Sarge is a hardass for sticking to protocol, and this guy wasn't near my route. Hey, is Hanson still wearing that neck brace?"
"Oh yeah, threw it out playing some zero-gee soccer, didn't he?"
"That was his explanation. I heard he hit on one of the researchers and she slapped him... with an oxygen tank."
"Ouch."
"Anyway, this guy was on the roof of the command station, peeping like it's the lady's shower room, and Hanson doesn't see a thing. Probably couldn't raise his neck more than a few degrees."
The controller nodded. "Getting hit with an oxygen tank will do that."
"Finally the guy does end up in my zone. So I call him out, tell him to submit to a scan... and the guy bolts."
"I'm guessing that's where all the blasting came in?"
The guard nodded. "He pulled a runner. Hopped over the command station, got in his SRV, and bailed."
"Well, he's not our problem anymore." The controller looked to his display. "Hang on a sec, Got a ship coming in..." He tapped the comms. "Lakon Mike-Oscar-Sierra, you are cleared for landing on landing pad 1."
The guard leaned in, puzzled. "Keelback... Mike-Oscar-Sierra...? That's the same ship!"
The controller shook his head. "It's got a different paint job."
"But the ID is exactly the same! I mean, exactly! It's the same ship."
"Are you blind? That ship was black and red. This is blue, red, and white. It's not the same ship."
"But it's dropping an SRV... and... yep, it just sent the ship back into orbit! He's driving to the command center! It's the same guy!"
The controller waved him off. "You want to try and explain that to your Sarge, go ahead. I can't be bothered with your paranoid delusions. You should get back on patrol."
"Oh brother..."
"Another firefight?" the controller asked.
"Yeah... he was trying to sneak into the industrial complex when Rodriguez spotted him snatching some cable. Bolted like a jackrabbit. I don't think he got what he was looking for though."
"Still think it was the same guy?"
"He escaped in the exact same SRV!"
"Eh, all SRVs look alike... I mean, unless it was a Scorpion. Was it?"
"No, just a Scarab."
"Yeah, they all look alike. Probably just a coincidence. Hang on. Got another ship coming in." The controller tapped the comms. "Lakon Mike-Oscar-Sierra, you are cleared for landing on landing pad 1."
"Dude, it's the SAME ship!"
"Are you color blind? That ship is green!"
"It has the same ship ID! Come on!"
"Different ship, my friend."
"A different ship that is dropping off its SRV and dismissing the ship and... yep, pulling the SRV in behind the Command Center?"
"Look, unless these expensive computers--which are worth more than our entire lifetime's income, by the way--say that's the same guy, it's not the same guy."
The guard slapped his head. "I'm going to find that guy."
The controller waved him off. "Good luck. Don't let the Sarge know your straying from your sector."
"Wow, it's just a busy day here today," said the controller. "Pretty sure I heard a grenade go off that time."
"That was me... I was getting frustrated. It was him. Again. He snuck into a restricted zone, but as far as we can tell he didn't manage steal anything. Doc Ellis walked in just as he was pulling out an arc cutter."
"You absolutely sure it was the same guy?"
The guard frowned. "Well, maybe not. The SRV he escaped in had a big nose and glasses on it, so it was probably a completely different SRV."
"You're making fun of me."
"YES."
Look, I'm sure it was just a... hang on. Got another ship coming in." The controller tapped the comms again. "Lakon Mike-Oscar-Sierra, you are cleared for landing on landing pad 1."
The guard groaned. "You really don't care about your job, do you?"
The controller grinned. "Not even a little. I've been trying to get fired for the past week."
"You could say that. I knew that guy was trouble the moment he dropped his Keelback on the landing pad, unloaded his SRV, and sent the ship back into orbit."
"He said he was going to collect some rock sample after he finished his business here," said the controller.
"That was his excuse?"
The controller shrugged. "I've heard weirder reasons."
"Well, anyway, the guy parks his SRV behind the command station and gets out. I spot him sneaking around, peeking in windows, all kinds of crap."
"Did you interrogate him?" asked the controller.
"Not right away. The Sarge is a hardass for sticking to protocol, and this guy wasn't near my route. Hey, is Hanson still wearing that neck brace?"
"Oh yeah, threw it out playing some zero-gee soccer, didn't he?"
"That was his explanation. I heard he hit on one of the researchers and she slapped him... with an oxygen tank."
"Ouch."
"Anyway, this guy was on the roof of the command station, peeping like it's the lady's shower room, and Hanson doesn't see a thing. Probably couldn't raise his neck more than a few degrees."
The controller nodded. "Getting hit with an oxygen tank will do that."
"Finally the guy does end up in my zone. So I call him out, tell him to submit to a scan... and the guy bolts."
"I'm guessing that's where all the blasting came in?"
The guard nodded. "He pulled a runner. Hopped over the command station, got in his SRV, and bailed."
"Well, he's not our problem anymore." The controller looked to his display. "Hang on a sec, Got a ship coming in..." He tapped the comms. "Lakon Mike-Oscar-Sierra, you are cleared for landing on landing pad 1."
The guard leaned in, puzzled. "Keelback... Mike-Oscar-Sierra...? That's the same ship!"
The controller shook his head. "It's got a different paint job."
"But the ID is exactly the same! I mean, exactly! It's the same ship."
"Are you blind? That ship was black and red. This is blue, red, and white. It's not the same ship."
"But it's dropping an SRV... and... yep, it just sent the ship back into orbit! He's driving to the command center! It's the same guy!"
The controller waved him off. "You want to try and explain that to your Sarge, go ahead. I can't be bothered with your paranoid delusions. You should get back on patrol."
"Oh brother..."
"Another firefight?" the controller asked.
"Yeah... he was trying to sneak into the industrial complex when Rodriguez spotted him snatching some cable. Bolted like a jackrabbit. I don't think he got what he was looking for though."
"Still think it was the same guy?"
"He escaped in the exact same SRV!"
"Eh, all SRVs look alike... I mean, unless it was a Scorpion. Was it?"
"No, just a Scarab."
"Yeah, they all look alike. Probably just a coincidence. Hang on. Got another ship coming in." The controller tapped the comms. "Lakon Mike-Oscar-Sierra, you are cleared for landing on landing pad 1."
"Dude, it's the SAME ship!"
"Are you color blind? That ship is green!"
"It has the same ship ID! Come on!"
"Different ship, my friend."
"A different ship that is dropping off its SRV and dismissing the ship and... yep, pulling the SRV in behind the Command Center?"
"Look, unless these expensive computers--which are worth more than our entire lifetime's income, by the way--say that's the same guy, it's not the same guy."
The guard slapped his head. "I'm going to find that guy."
The controller waved him off. "Good luck. Don't let the Sarge know your straying from your sector."
"Wow, it's just a busy day here today," said the controller. "Pretty sure I heard a grenade go off that time."
"That was me... I was getting frustrated. It was him. Again. He snuck into a restricted zone, but as far as we can tell he didn't manage steal anything. Doc Ellis walked in just as he was pulling out an arc cutter."
"You absolutely sure it was the same guy?"
The guard frowned. "Well, maybe not. The SRV he escaped in had a big nose and glasses on it, so it was probably a completely different SRV."
"You're making fun of me."
"YES."
Look, I'm sure it was just a... hang on. Got another ship coming in." The controller tapped the comms again. "Lakon Mike-Oscar-Sierra, you are cleared for landing on landing pad 1."
The guard groaned. "You really don't care about your job, do you?"
The controller grinned. "Not even a little. I've been trying to get fired for the past week."
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