NPC Comms

A little frivolous (and I am not demanding FDev implement this, it is all tongue-in-cheek) but wouldn't it be nice if the NPC were honest in their communications with us players:

Station Controller: Core Dynamics Juliet Alpha Sierra you are cleared to proceed and land on Pad 42. I see that you have a docking computer installed, trust us, whilst your ship is under control we will take the upmost care (insert evil laugh)

Station Controller: Core Dynamics Juliet Alpha Sierra you are cleared to proceed and land on Pad 42. Ah you have a docking computer, can't land huh, will you be requiring assistance when departing because evidently you are incapable of simple flight control.

Federal Police Anaconda: All security forces, I have identified two high value, Elite class wanted felons. I have initiated my attack run, only assistance is a clean Vulture. Wait one, that Vulture just nicked my shield as I dove between him and one of the targets, I have placed a 200C bounty on him for making me spill my coffee. All ships, refocus attack on the Vulture and ignore the original targets.

Mostly Harmless Pirate in an unshielded Eagle: Let me see what you have in that Python, come on, show me, I demand you show, come on I'm asking nice here. Well if you won't show me I am just going to fire up my burst laser and teach you a lesson.

System Authority Vulture: Ah I see you just departed the station, don't mind me, I am going to play chicken with you whilst I do my scan. But don't worry, if I hit you, I won't fine you or anything - PROMISE :D


I am sure others here can come up with conversations we either should be hearing or want to hear :D
 
Somewhere in this galaxy there is a facetious controller, it's been a long time and I don't remember the system, but I do remember the words "You are cleared for auto docking, maybe you should learn to fly"
 
"Honest NPC Comms" should be a thing.

NPC Pirate Adder Vicious Talon: "Attention Commander in that fancy Federal Corvette. There's at least three Type-6's, two Type-7's, three Type-9's in scanner range loaded with cargo that are easy pickings... but you're hauling four units of insulating membrane and that's my fetish. They will be MINE!"
 
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Just thought up another one:

Station Controller: Docking clamps released, you are cleared to exit the station. Scans show you do not have sufficient funds to facilitate the insurance requirements of your ship, so since you enjoy a challenge I will set the station rotation and toaster rack settings to a ridiculous speed. Have a good flight ....
 
Station Controller: "Saud Kruger Kilo Oscar Foxtrot, welcome back, you are cleared for pad one niner, please proceed and - wait, damn it not you again kilo oscar foxtrot - I swear to god if you throw more heat sinks in my station I will vapourise your shi-" [heat sink deployed] "-goddam-it kilo oscar foxtrot that's it I'm not pulling those super-heated tungsten-ferro-ceramic slugs out of the station carbon scrubbers again!" *chsk* "Ensign?! open fire on that a**hole!"
 
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Pirate Eagle: Well hello there friend in the murder yacht. I'm going to interdict you despite that 3 blasts from your class 4 pulse laser utterly melts my ship! DIE YOU [REDACTED]-WAD! DIE!!!
Pirate Viper: [Hull strength down to 25%] You've scratched a little more than my paint! *coughs blood*
System Authority Python: [Initiates scan] Here's looking at you kid.

Station Controller: Zorgon Peterson tango hotel india, welcome to this federal starport. Please...Docking request granted commander, go to pad.....Uh...commander, my screen is showing that you are travelling at 450 m/s, please slow to 100 m/s. Commander? Are you reading me? HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! TAKE COVER!! THIS GUY HAS LOST IT!!

Station Controller: Zorgon Peterson tango hotel india....wait, not you again. Don't you dare hit that boost button! You inadvertently caused two Belugas to get tangled last time. [hits boost] Son of a...WHAT DID I JUST SAY!!! GET ON YOUR BLOODY PAD NOW!! I DON'T GET PAID ENOUGH FOR THIS CRAP!!
 
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