Hi Dorohedoro. I'm glad you decided to join our galaxy, and in my sig are a couple of guides that may be of some help.
About the game being a grind, well... for me, it's had some grindy moments. I do play Elite nearly everyday, but it's limited to about an hour or two a day (with many more hours/day when I can). I am an explorer, first and foremost. Some folks would describe exploration as a huuuuuge grind, but since I started being more selective with what I scan and explore it's been a much more rewarding experience. And playing roughly 2 hours/day its actually not much a grind. But I love to explore. People who love trade don't see 1,000 back-and-forths between 2 stations as a grind, because its what they enjoy. When I trade, it's 100% a grind because I always hated trading in space games. So while I'd consider even an hour of trading a grind, a week long journey to a distant star isn't a grind for me.
So, as long as you enjoy what you're doing, you'll likely not mind grindy moments because you'll be enjoying it
And I wouldn't say Elite is anything like Civilization (which I also love). You'll not build world wonders or work toward an absolute game end. But I get what you're saying- it'll feel like you're a soldier in a larger army and nation, with some control of policies and military operation. 1.3 sounds amazing to me, too, and if it does turn out to be like Civ, my eyes will roll back into my head and I'll go into a coma of joy lol That's probably not the best picture of joy, but I also never thought I'd see "lol" anywhere near the word "bankruptcy"
But welcome to the Elite universe, and I hope your IRL situation improves. I've been poor, and it indeed sucks. But that's life- it gets better, gets worse, gets better, and so on, like a roller coaster.