General / Off-Topic Okay, I'm going to be straight with you.

  • Thread starter Deleted member 110222
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Deleted member 110222

D
There's a girl I can't stop thinking about. We've known each other for a long time, and went through the same crap in the same secondary school. After school we didn't see each other for a while, total loss of contact.

Then by sheer chance we met again on an Aspergers forum. Since then, we consider each other very good friends. And I'm not just friends with her, but her entire family. Evidently I'm very popular with them.

No idea what I supposed to do. I've had crushes... Everyone does. But this one feels different. Probably because we've both gone through the same crap growing up.

Anyway, I really just need to vent. Feel free to comment, as you know I enjoy a civil discussion.
 
Does she enjoy gaming? If she doesn't and you feel like gaming will continue to be a hobby for years to come then back off and remain friends.:)
 
Tell her how you feel. It might be a shock to her or a relief if she feels the same. The only regret you could have is to pass up a chance like this.

It'll take some courage, but the risk is worth it.

<edit> Right after I first met my wife, I went and bought some flowers for her. I didn't work up the courage to give them to her. I still regret that. It took a day or so to finally just take her hand and hold it while we walked and talked. It was a defining moment. We both still recall that day with fond memories and 25 years later, we still act like newlyweds. </edit>
 
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Remembering your major cry for help a few months ago I would DEFINITELY ask her out. OK, she might turn you down (that happens to anybody), but she might well say yes (and the fact you are already friends makes it likely). Either way it is far better than not asking, and then wondering for the rest of your life what might have been.
 
It is best to observe her. She wants, perhaps only of the friendship

If she has stronger feelings, then there will be a sign at one time or another, from her or from someone in her family

Wait and see ...
 
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I guess you just carry on doing what you're doing.

hey, I've got an idea. What about starting to go to the gym, together. You need to work out anyway (sorry. :p) working out with a friend is always better and it is a generally great stress relief (which you both need). Aaaand a potential opportunity, later on.
 
Something like, "Hey, would you like to go out and do something? I really enjoy being around you." Simple, and done. Then if she says yes, awesome! If she says she just wants to hang out as friends, that's still cool, but at least you know. Friends are great to have too!
 
Okay. And after reading a couple of comments, here. People please. Movie is the WORST. POSSIBLE. FIRST. DATE! Seriously. Don't do that unless it's the other person who invited you.

You need to TALK on the first date. Talk a LOT. And more importantly LISTEN. Sitting in the dark, feeling all awkward because you are not sure if the other person is enjoying themselves is not a date. And even if they are enjoying themselves, that's not the point. They may be enjoying the movie, but they should have been enjoying your company! :p
 
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Deleted member 110222

D
Does she enjoy gaming? If she doesn't and you feel like gaming will continue to be a hobby for years to come then back off and remain friends.:)

Actually, she's studying her third year at university for 3D modelling. And is hoping to get into the games industry.

Having seen her work, I'd be very surprised if she doesn't.
 
I guess you just carry on doing what you're doing.

hey, I've got an idea. What about starting to go to the gym, together. You need to work out anyway (sorry. :p) working out with a friend is always better and it is a generally great stress relief (which you both need). Aaaand a potential opportunity, later on.

And after the gym, a sauna and a Turkish bath

;)
 
Okay. And after reading a couple of comments, here. People please. Movie is the WORST. POSSIBLE. FIRST. DATE! Seriously. Don't do that unless it's the other person who invited you.

You need to TALK on the first date. Talk a LOT. And more importantly LISTEN. Sitting in the dark, feeling all awkward because you are not sure if the other person is enjoying themselves is not a date. And even if they are enjoying themselves, that's not the point. They may be enjoying the movie, but they should have been enjoying your company! :p

Me and Mrs Stigbob still regularly go for movie and dinner dates after being together for decades because it reminds us of our first date.

Each to his/her own.
 
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