General / Off-Topic Parenting

[Robin of Spiritwood]

Never an easy thing, with no clear cut solutions across the board, is it?
Here's a situation where a child is punished for cause, but the event is made public.

What is the "right" thing to do here? As usual, there's no obvious course. She's a second time offender, so overlooking it, or just reprimanding verbally is probably inadequate. So sure, a long walk is probably fine; many children undergo far worse to get to school everyday.

But is it really required to display a minor to the world? Getting disapproval from the community is a long time method of shaming, but honestly are the people in Timbuktoo and Shanghai part of the relevant community?

How would you handle a child that has started bullying?

 

[Jezzah]

Have to agree with him. Making it public is a bit off though. Wouldn't do that. Kids above a certain age should be made to see that actions have consequences both good and bad.

I'm a dad to 2 sons one 15 and one 3. My 15 year old is a directionless teenager but he is a genuinely respectful, well balanced kid that has a heart of gold. My 3 year old could be put on trial in the Hague for breaking all the tenets of the human rights act But he'll adjust and come good like the older one has.

 

[Patrick_68000]

The punishment looks good for a recidivist. Walking is very good for the moral and the physical health.

The exibitionism is less acceptable.

The child must not become a subject of the public curiosity.

 

[Ian Skippy]

Making it public is to score points on reddit and imgur. It is just selfish and has nothing to do with parenting. Its a bit of a thing, showing off how good a parent you are online, who cares about the kid. Lets shame a ten-year old.

 

[znôrt]

The exibitionism is less acceptable.

Making it public is to score points on reddit and imgur. It is just selfish and has nothing to do with parenting. Its a bit of a thing, showing off how good a parent you are online, who cares about the kid. Lets shame a ten-year old.

pretty much, facebook society.

 

[Chris Simon]

Have to agree with him. Making it public is a bit off though. Wouldn't do that. Kids above a certain age should be made to see that actions have consequences both good and bad.

I'm a dad to 2 sons one 15 and one 3. My 15 year old is a directionless teenager but he is a genuinely respectful, well balanced kid that has a heart of gold. My 3 year old could be put on trial in the Hague for breaking all the tenets of the human rights act But he'll adjust and come good like the older one has.

Kids are very observant and "spongy" when comes to character traits. Conscious upbringing is one thing, but it is much more important to simply be a good person. Kids observe and absorb your character as a parent to a certain point and simply being a person you want them to become is much more important than "telling them what they should become".

As for the OP's case, the parents failed at exactly that.

 

[verminstar]

I wont share what Id do because ye wont like the answer. I wouldnt shotgun it all over social media though partly cos I dont use social media and partly cos thats one of those new age fads, scoring likes and other equally pathetic practices on the internet.

Some tried to bully me at school when I was a kid...mostly the teachers cos of who my parents were in the town I grew up in. Other kids left me alone cos they knew what would happen if they tried. I suppose that makes me old school...hard question to answer cos I know my daughter wouldnt dare to even attempt something like that ^

 

[Deleted member 115407]

Making it public is to score points on reddit and imgur. It is just selfish and has nothing to do with parenting. Its a bit of a thing, showing off how good a parent you are online, who cares about the kid. Lets shame a ten-year old.

This. The punishment is fine. The social media bit is all about attention for the parent.

 

[Gortron]

What is going on with the world. I hate social media; one day the human race will look back at this period in our history in horror.

If I had a child of my own and they bullied someone I'd sit them down and explain the harm that it can do. I'd not humiliate them on the internet to gain favour from other useless parents.

 

[Ozram]

Remove a toe. Works every time.

 

[znôrt]

Remove a toe. Works every time.

up to 10 times. from there it's a lost cause.

 

[Ozram]

up to 10 times. from there it's a lost cause.

Keep them on ice and sew them back on.

 

[GJ51]

Buy her a new cell phone

Tell her it's the other kids' fault

Hire a limo to take her to school

Sue the school district

Start a crowdfunding page

 

[avow555]

Teaching a lesson fine, showing it off not fine at all.

 

[Patrick_68000]

up to 10 times. from there it's a lost cause.

Maybe go to the hands after ?

 

[Bob Lighthouse]

Making it public is to score points on reddit and imgur. It is just selfish and has nothing to do with parenting. Its a bit of a thing, showing off how good a parent you are online, who cares about the kid. Lets shame a ten-year old.

That's like Japan.
Eg, when kids don't perform in school, the teacher discusses it with the whole classroom.
They come up with a group solution to help little Hiro finish his homework on time.

What is going on with the world. I hate social media; one day the human race will look back at this period in our history in horror.

If I had a child of my own and they bullied someone I'd sit them down and explain the harm that it can do. I'd not humiliate them on the internet to gain favour from other useless parents.

With those mind reading skills, that should never be necessary in the first place...

 

[Cliché]

Shaming is not bullying - public or otherwise. This is good parenting.

 

[Chris Simon]

Shaming is not bullying - public or otherwise. This is good parenting.

Shaming is not bullying? Wot m8?

Every physical or psychical abuse that you can't defend yourself against is bullying.

 

[Cliché]

Shaming is not bullying? Wot m8?

Bullying is calling someone names because they wear glasses or are overweight and etc. Telling a fat person eating fast food that it is an unhealthy choice is neither bullying nor fat shaming (a made up SJW concept). Public shaming someone (punishment) for doing bad things is not bullying but is necessary for a well functioning society.

 

[Arry]

Bulling has been around for centuries and the one thing that maintains it; is to do nothing.

I like this example; yes it is a kind of sledge hammer, but in this world of instant inter-web and on-line critics. It maybe what is required. We have seen worse. Kids holding banners, telling the world they are bullies etc., standing by the side of the road; for all to see. This appears to be just a kid; having to get to school; the hard way; the old fashioned way and still accompanied/protected by her dad.

Fair play to him and lets hope a few others follow with similar examples.