Greetins my Intergalactic folks,
I am currently speaking to you from across time and space. I am literally in the futu....wait my advisors are informing me that currently none of that is true. Its all quite exciting.
For quite some time now The Federation has been at the forefront of leadership and security in the Galaxy. Promoting goodwill through maniacal corporate tyranny, while displaying a real sense of Federation values. As your Federation President, let me remind you of just where weve been through... now that the left hand knows what the right hand is doing. Its hard for me to explain it...so just take my word for it... Because our enemies never stop thinking of ways to harm the Federation, and neither do we.
Now that we have an Empire capable of resisting Empire influence, and been to a park in LHS 3447, what did we learn? If it feels good...do it. If you have a problem...blame somebody else. Having been raised in a desert, its easy to see a tide turn. The Evil doers are being chased back to their evil, freedom hating places. Places where intergalactic corporations are oppressed and cant provide the poor with jobs breaking big asteroids into little asteroids. Because I know, that humans and asteroids can co-exist...peacefully.
I personally met an onionhead grower while I was having some TACOs at the starport. He said I had to help him find people to help pull onionheads... at the onionhead makin place. And too many Interplanetary Womens INRA workers cant practice their love of women all over the galaxy. Now ive heard rumors over the Galnets about Alien things. I want the citizens of the Federation to rest assured WE have a plan. So far, either we will build a wall...Or so ive been told, some kind of big thingy that looks kind of like a giant fishnet to trap the critters and keep everyone safe. The eggheads over at the Canonn are designing it, so everyone can rest assured. Everyone is working on the honor system, and if it doesn't work the cafeteria is going back to fishsticks. So there lots of incentive to get it right. Leave some nutrient paste for the rest of you why don't you guys?
Also, we want to announce that we are working on the HAL 420. a new docking computer that can absorb and rewrite the entire documented history and works of the human race. Hopefully soon we can collectively re write the works of everything ever, and add more adventure, ghostbusting, and finally discover why we keep finding alien UAs hidden in the broom closets in our capital stations. The running theory was that an alien monster was body snatching station janitors and spawning Utopian replicas. However, the guys at Cannon tell me none of that's true. So were cancelling that warning.
And in closure, I would like to remind ALL Federation Cartographers and explorers one of the core goals here at the Federation is to find more gas giants and energy laden planets...First we have a shortage of gold, and we need more. Not enough gold teeth to go around. And the Federation uses LOTS of fuel. We need the juice...
So make sure you keep bringing data to stations. If we meet our quarterly planet finding quota for, I promise you guys we will don our bondage gear, fuel our death car SRVs, and drive around in circles whooping it up and shooting multi cannons at people. Who is ready to rule the abandoned moon wasteland!?!? So keep looking...
Id like to stay and address you more, but I gotta go to Nanomam...something about what goes on there, stays there ya know...
Good Luck CMDRs!
President Hudson.
I am currently speaking to you from across time and space. I am literally in the futu....wait my advisors are informing me that currently none of that is true. Its all quite exciting.
For quite some time now The Federation has been at the forefront of leadership and security in the Galaxy. Promoting goodwill through maniacal corporate tyranny, while displaying a real sense of Federation values. As your Federation President, let me remind you of just where weve been through... now that the left hand knows what the right hand is doing. Its hard for me to explain it...so just take my word for it... Because our enemies never stop thinking of ways to harm the Federation, and neither do we.
Now that we have an Empire capable of resisting Empire influence, and been to a park in LHS 3447, what did we learn? If it feels good...do it. If you have a problem...blame somebody else. Having been raised in a desert, its easy to see a tide turn. The Evil doers are being chased back to their evil, freedom hating places. Places where intergalactic corporations are oppressed and cant provide the poor with jobs breaking big asteroids into little asteroids. Because I know, that humans and asteroids can co-exist...peacefully.
I personally met an onionhead grower while I was having some TACOs at the starport. He said I had to help him find people to help pull onionheads... at the onionhead makin place. And too many Interplanetary Womens INRA workers cant practice their love of women all over the galaxy. Now ive heard rumors over the Galnets about Alien things. I want the citizens of the Federation to rest assured WE have a plan. So far, either we will build a wall...Or so ive been told, some kind of big thingy that looks kind of like a giant fishnet to trap the critters and keep everyone safe. The eggheads over at the Canonn are designing it, so everyone can rest assured. Everyone is working on the honor system, and if it doesn't work the cafeteria is going back to fishsticks. So there lots of incentive to get it right. Leave some nutrient paste for the rest of you why don't you guys?
Also, we want to announce that we are working on the HAL 420. a new docking computer that can absorb and rewrite the entire documented history and works of the human race. Hopefully soon we can collectively re write the works of everything ever, and add more adventure, ghostbusting, and finally discover why we keep finding alien UAs hidden in the broom closets in our capital stations. The running theory was that an alien monster was body snatching station janitors and spawning Utopian replicas. However, the guys at Cannon tell me none of that's true. So were cancelling that warning.
And in closure, I would like to remind ALL Federation Cartographers and explorers one of the core goals here at the Federation is to find more gas giants and energy laden planets...First we have a shortage of gold, and we need more. Not enough gold teeth to go around. And the Federation uses LOTS of fuel. We need the juice...
So make sure you keep bringing data to stations. If we meet our quarterly planet finding quota for, I promise you guys we will don our bondage gear, fuel our death car SRVs, and drive around in circles whooping it up and shooting multi cannons at people. Who is ready to rule the abandoned moon wasteland!?!? So keep looking...
Id like to stay and address you more, but I gotta go to Nanomam...something about what goes on there, stays there ya know...
Good Luck CMDRs!
President Hudson.
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