General / Off-Topic Raise Shields

[Robin of Spiritwood]

Pastor Pat has erected an impenetrable wall of Holy Power to stop Hurricane Florence.

Praying on TV on Monday, the well known Pastor scoffed at the impotence of other hurricanes that have fallen victim to his mighty weather control powers, declaring it "Hilarious" to see them try to change direction but be unable to pierce the veil of his protection.

(Evidently he was on hiatus last year.)

While the infallible umbrella of Godly Defense was being deployed on Monday, lesser mortals at the Weather Bureau upgraded Florence to Category 4.

Landfall is expected late Thursday to early Friday, mandatory evacuation is underway, and cowardly unbelievers are running needlessly away, instead of abstaining from Gay Sex, and donating. Will their weakness cause the holy erection to fail? We'll find out later this week!

 

[metatheurgist]

He should team up with the Shoot the Hurricane guys to double their odds of success.

 

[Gun Star]

Not tonight.....North Carolina has a headache

 

[Demascus]

Everyone should know the only way to fight hurricanes is with your fists. Chuck norris that hurricane!

 

[Robin of Spiritwood]

Not tonight.....North Carolina has a headache

Boy, if that picture were only large enough to have included Florida...

 

[Patrick_68000]

I am impressed by the divine powers of this man

rolleyes

 

[Winterwalker]

I am impressed by the divine powers of this man

rolleyes

If Florence suddenly turns East, I definitely will be! :O

 

[Patrick_68000]

If Florence suddenly turns East, I definitely will be! :O

In this case I will join the sect

 

[Robin of Spiritwood]

Update on the track:

The official track has Florence hovering off the southern North Carolina coast from Thursday night until landfall Saturday morning or so, then veering south through South Carolina and Georgia into Monday.

So he HAS deflected it!

If these projections hold, University of Miami hurricane researcher Brian McNoldy says “it’s exceptionally bad news, as it smears a landfall out over hundreds of miles of coastline, most notably the storm surge.” McNoldy says “the rainfall has been and continues to be a very substantial threat over the entire area.”

But uh, onto more people...

 

[Patrick_68000]

I heard that it was downgraded to Category 3.

Unfortunately it will pass on very developed areas

 

[Bob Lighthouse]

I heard that it was downgraded to Category 3.

Unfortunately it will pass on very developed areas

Must be a high concentration of onanism or something in them parts?

 

[Robin of Spiritwood]

Actual Result:
Landfall just 2 miles from predicted locus by weather model.

Evangelical predictions have not come to pass. Clearly Satan has breached the Shield!

This can only be countered by lots and lots of donations, more prayers, and complete abstention from sex. Your very souls are at stake! ( seriously, if you believe in Pastor Pat, do not reproduce.)

 

[Patrick_68000]

Clearly Satan has breached the Shield!

It is not the first time !