Ya know, I'd feel pity for you but, I don't. Truth be told--and MOST players aren't willing to admit this... is CQC is pretty balanced from the start. It is entirely possible to have a fantastic win/loss and kill/death ratio in the stock Condor. If you want a few engine perks or shield perks (the only things that may help or may not)... well, you only need to get to what, level 11 or so for those?
Do you know how easy it is to get to level 11? It takes like five or ten games maybe. It's ridiculously easy.
The problem, as I've said elsewhere, is most players come to CQC after spending all their time in carebear solo or group mode, get their butts handed to them because they aren't as good as they thought they were, sulk and leave because they realize maybe the Open players were right: Open trains you to be a better pilot and player of the game--not just because of pew pew skills... but by learning how to think space combat through.
So... do yourself a favor, pick yourself back up off your feet and get back into CQC and learn how to fly for real now. After you do this--you can go enjoy Open mode which is fantastic fun and everything Elite was made for.