'Captain's Log, Stardate 39845.3
I have taken command of the new starship, Aegis. She's a fine looking ship. Experimental systems, large bridge layout. Sadly, I can't say the same for my crew. I didn't get to pick them, being the ship's captain and all, but I expected to be given Starfleet's finest, given the advanced ship.
No.. No instead I appear to have been given those with various degrees of mental incapacity, and sensory deprivation. Take my new helmsmen. When I ask to lay in a new course, I don't really expect to be asked how to do it. And when we finally get the course laid in, I normally expect my helmsmen to WAIT before engaging warp, in case I need to change my mind...
And Tactical. My tactical officer appears to have played too many old 21st century computer games. The concept of raising shields is lost on him. He's even been heard stating to other crew members that 'shields are for losers, hull strength is where it's at.'. Quite aside from the fact that the Aegis, for all it's technical superiority, has a hull thinner than human hair - even the older Enterprise has a thicker hull - he can't quite grasp the concept of torpedoes. When they hit an unshielded ship.. it's going to hurt. And Klingon's like torpedoes.
And finally there's my lovely science officer. Ensign Maybell. Ensign Maybe I'm starting to call her. You'd expect, given the degree of training that Starfleet officers receive, that reading a sensor screen, and relaying the vital information to me would be second nature. However, Miss Maybe seems to have difficulty in informing me of anything interesting. And when I say interesting, I mean UTTERLY VITAL. Neglecting to mention that the nearby nebulae that I was considering hiding within recently, to shake off some persistent Birds-of-Prey, was alive with powerful ion storms didn't really help the situation.
I am seriously considering asking for a crew transfer. However, given the current nature of Starfleet's recruitment drive, it's entirely possible I could end up with a blind tactical officer, or a Helmsman with no sense of direction.
Such is a Captain's life.'