Here's the 151th round of stories. It's gonna be a difficult one for me this week. I usually vote for the Drabbles featuring me, but I can't use that tactic when they're all about me.
It was Insanephoton, Galactic Midden, and me what won the contest last week, and between us we hammered out the subjects "Thargoids" and "Frank". Of course we got a good turn out of stories for the week. Who wouldn't want to write a story about someone as wonderful as.. ME!
Psykokow hosts the Abraka-Drabble live reading show and comedy hour at 7pm GMT, Fridays on...
HUTTON ORBITAL RADIO! http://streaming.radionomy.com/HuttonOrbitalRadio (audio only)
LAVE RADIO! http://laveradio.com/ (audio only)
TWITCH! http://www.twitch.tv/psykokow/ (audio & visual)
and will also be uploaded to his You-tube channel & anywhere else he can inflict the world with our drabblings!
Make sure you come back on Sunday night to see how well your Drabble has done. At least come back before Monday 15:00 to check if you're the one that has to provide us with a topic.
Please vote. And a warning to all of the contestants, don't vote for yourselves. Anyone caught voting for themselves shall be eviscerated by a swarm of fearless Thargoids, or glued to a barstool and forced to listen to an old codger yammering on about how everything is so expensive nowadays.. whichever you feel is the worse fate.
01 - RoyalHankey - Failed mission
It was time Captain Luck went in search for Waypoint Peck.
To be frank, he spent more time enjoying his pay check.
He asked for the money for a new drive.
But was more interested in his new bee hive.
The police came to his home to see what's wrong.
Then got a ear bashing with his tongue.
He argued his point all the way.
The police said, he's here to stay.
The bailiffs confiscated his ship.
So he could not make his trip.
He sat right down and was annoyed.
Came to the end his search for a Thargoid.
02 - Simoof - Little Ship of Thargoids!
Turn down your coms, switch off your rear engines,
Fear takes your clean pants, wipe the tears from your face,
Look at your scanners, and start your mourning,
You know things were bad and now you will pay.
Suddenly Thargoids, completely surround you,
They don't talk your language, You can not surrend,
Suddenly Thargoids, are shooting right through you,
With mis-understandings, Here comes your end.
Nobody ever treated them kindly
They were just vectors, octagonal sprites,
Whenever we saw them, we'd shoot at them blindly
But now they're in VR, their weapons aint shoite...
Suddenly Thargoids, their ships strangely glowing *BOOM*
03 - Erik Marcaigh - Based on an Almost True Story
Commanders Ed and Erik were sitting in a bar, drinking Janx and laughing at the miner who kept falling off his seat. Eventually someone came along and tied the old man to the barstool so he'd stop slipping off.
Ed and Erik were in their cups by that point, and Ed leaned in and whispered, "Have I got a secret for you!"
"What's that? You really wear a wig?"
"No. It's about Thargoids! See, I know when they're...." *urrkh!* he exclaimed as a Thargoid pincer pierced his body.
Erik sat, horrified as the Thargoid pulled away its David Braben mask.
04 - moose666 - Winnard's post box.
"Welcome to Winnard's Hole discount mail service." The greeter bot droned.
Simoof read though the bumph on the information poster.
Winnard's hole discount mail does not cover loss due to:
-Thargoids
-The CODE
-Wayward sundivers
-Unknown Artifacts
-Thargoids
-Persons named Juan Kerr
-'Accidents' as defined by CMDR Bubble
-Porno Gnomes
-Thargoids
ALL PACKAGES MUST BE FRANKED.
Simoof took a tube of superglue, squirted it on his package, and slapped it on the unsuspecting Frank.
"Wha, oi!"
"Sir, that's not a franked package" explained the cashier.
"Sure it is, he's called Frank!" said Simoof.
The cashier, sighing, called the pun police.
05 - Galactic Midden - Why you should do a background check
"Right!" Said Frank. "I'm deeply dippy 'bout the curves you got, extra hardpoints, let the neighbours talk!"
The astonished engineer looked at him and blushed with a clicking stammer, "I d-d-didn't know you felt that way about me Frank. My neighbours are all gone you know".
"Ohh, my love. Let's set sail for seas of passion".
"OK!" she drooled hungrily
"What?" said Frank distractedly, "I'm loving those ship upgrades you've made... I'm too sexy for my ship too sexy for my ship, so sexy it hurts."
Caught in the moment, Frank never saw her thin throbbing proboscis penetrate his spine.
06 - Edith_The_Hutt - upon my works
On a million worlds the towers rotted. Hives slumped in foetid abandon and the seas ran thick with fungal ooze.
Frank's magboots squelched through a thick slurry of shell fragments, ammonia hydroxide and yellow mud.
"This is what victory looks like," he whispered, approaching the grey, angular carcass.
He stroked the exoskeleton, not the flat metal plate he'd always assumed but a finely fused lattice of scales and veined bone.
"They're gone," he muttered, "the virus worked"
A collapse in the distance spewed dust and rubble over uncaring miles of desolation
"And the Universe will never forgive us," he wept
07 - Frank - Tilting at Windmills
Frank was in a room full of Thargoids. "BUTCHER MY FAMILY WOULD'YA!", he yelled defiantly as he doused them in Janx. A few deft strokes from his trusty laser sword slashed and ignited the nearest insectoids.
Soon all that could be seen in the conflagration were burning aliens staring back with their expressionless compound eyes. Frank quipped "If you can't stand the heat, stay outta our quadrant!"
Sven watched Frank stumble into the bar; plasma fruit slicer in one hand, empty Janx bottle in the other. He sighed when he saw the billowing smoke accompanying his entrance. Another cloakroom fire.
08 - DaddyHoggy - Snail Mail
‘Galactic Snail’ was the last company to offer the ancient delivery mechanism of physical post. It was slow and incredibly expensive compared to Galnet, but, for those important things: 200th birthday cards, transfer of Imperial Titles, divorce papers of multi-billionaires, it was a cost worth bearing. The raid, on one of their sorting offices, was violent and brief. The raiders were surprised by how well defended the establishment was and were quickly overwhelmed by GS security. One raider in particular met a gruesome end, his head crushed beneath the Galactic Snail Crest embossing machine. You could say he’d been franked.
09 - Listeri69 - A drunken Reminiscence or Frank remembers some stuff....
'I remembers Thargoids I do' Frank mumbled into his Janx 'I remember shooting one with my side laser'
Two of the bars patrons shifted uneasily in their stools.
'Side lasers, Thargoids.. I think you've had enough to drink tonight' Sven made an unsuccessful attempt to grab Franks bottle
'I tells you I had side lasers and Thargoids had ships the size of McThargoids Triple thick burgers, Eight sides they had an' yer radio just went....'
Frank made a clicking sound with his mouth and slapped his cheeks. Shifting in his chair he let rip
'an thats what they smelt like'
10 - insanephoton - Frank and the Thargoid!: The musical
Frank was space truckin' when out of the black an octagonal silver machine hailed him.
"Calling occupants of interplanetary craft"
"Hello, who are you?"
"You know my name" replied the thargoid.
"Eloise?"
"Yes and I've brought our daughter along too. She's quite the singer. Do you want to hear Annie's song?"
"she's no child of mine"
"Don't you want me, Daddy?" chirped Annie
"Annie I'm not your daddy. Thargoids and humans shouldn't mix, they are so different"
"Papa, don't preach. We can work it out. We are all made of stars"
"Forgive me, sweet child of mine. I'm only human"
11 - AliJax - They fly among us
Frank the Thargoid was a below average spy, the Thargon was just quick enough to avoid the sensors on ships from Empire, Alliance & Federation commanders.
Thargoids have time on their side and Frank did manage to strategically place Thar-Gins, something the Humans decided to call Barnacles, "LO LO LO" - the Thargoid chuckled.
3301 brought about the First Discovery of Human occupied space and for the Thargoid species they were plotting & scheming their next move to come out of the shadows, while the commanders are busy with Exploration Data, or hide n seek as Frank liked to call it.
12 - Darkoba - Not 'Frank in the Thargooid and Fer-de-lance', but nearly...
Darkoba landed at Barnard’s and went straight to the bar.
“What? No Frank?” he gazed at the empty bar-stool.
“Frank’s on a mission” Sven said, polishing glasses, “He won a second-hand Fer-de-lance in a lottery. Decided he should go hunting Thargoids.”
“But there aren’t any, any more.”
“You tell Frank that! He’ll find ‘em, even if it’s only in his mind.”
Meanwhile, a thousand LY’s away, an octagonal ship emerged into normal space. Frank eased his ship from behind the rock and attacked.
None would witness the glorious battle, but there it was; the Thargoid and Frank in the Fer-de-lance.
13 - Alien - Frank & The Thargoids
Frank was in his ship trying to get back with his secret stash of Janx. Surrounding Frank's ship, were several Thargoid craft, yet Frank didn't seem worried. They jumped to the next system on Frank's long route home.
Donny Jepp, the notorious pirate was out looking for explorers to part from their cargo in his ship "Piratey McPirateface" when suddenly, a fleet of Thargoid ships jumped in to the system. Self-destruction was the best decision he could make.
Watching the boom, Frank flipped a switch. The Thargoid ships disappeared. "Ai loves mai holo-graphy unit. Best 100,000 credits I ever spent."
14 - MrMogadon - After attempting to murder Agent F, the assassin is easily defeated and knocked out. Sometime later....
Rising from unconsciousness, a voice like diamond encrusted molasses murmured seductively into the assassin’s ear.
“I’m Agent F. I’ve taken your weapons, including your dart gun. Ingeniously concealed, but must’ve been hideously uncomfortable.”
Soft music played. On the table, oysters and champagne chilled.
“My father hovers near death. His dying wish that, I, wherever possible, disavow killing, outwitting, overpowering and seducing my enemies instead.
Frankly, I feel awkward and doubtful, but a son must honour his father’s wishes.
So relax, let’s eat and see what develops.”
Unexpectedly and gratefully alive, Ted raised his glass.
Agent F wryly toasts “Bottoms up”
15 - Phoenix_Dfire - Gone with the Solar Wind
It was the last straw. Mellisa ground her teeth as Frank’s Cobra came into view. It was docked against the massive hull of a derelict thargoid mother ship.
‘Frank? Are you there Dear?’ she called through the comms unit.
‘Hi Babe’ came the sheepish reply. ‘Found me then?’
‘This is what you jilted me at the alter for?’ tears forming in her eyes
‘Well Babe, You should see what this thing. If I fixed her, we could go anywhere!’
As she hit her viper’s afterburners she screamed over the comms unit.
‘Frank Lee, my dear. I don’t give a ram!’
16 - CMDR FluffyBun - A Miner Disaster
"11 years" CMDR FluffyBun muttered "11 sodding years"
It'd been 11 years since FluffyBun's co-pilot ran off with a jumped up smuggler from the other side of Altair. Leaving him to mine RES's. Alone.
"All I want is a nice CMDR FuzzyBun." he exclaimed "A sweet, funny CMDR FuzzyBun who'll fly side-by-side with me; surely one exists somewhere?"
The console spluttered: "asteroid depleted" and he gazed over the never-ending sea of rocks in the planetary ring.
"Be frank FluffyBun, there's more chance of finding an SOS from a Thargoid ship"
He looked over to the empty co-pilot chair and sighed.
17 - AceVentura_ - Sorry for last week
Sam, Matt’s maintenance robot was cleaning up after Chafing’s night of Gin and Mugs (#Forthemug), drinking and drowning his sorrows, after hobo-mallow’s Left and Right Mug handle’s announcement.
Later Matt found Chafing lay slummed in a canister in the hold, sleeping it off. Suddenly Matt shouted “Wake up sleepy head, I want you to see this”
Chafing said “Shhhhh” stumbling to the control room, he asked “If the sun could be turned down”
Matt answered “No, look what one of the Engineers found”, MY Thargoids and fer-de-lance labelled beer, that you drunk and to be Frank, I am not happy.
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