So, I have been incredibly sick for the past two days. The second I called out of work, I said to myself, "Hey, at least I can play tons of Elite now! *COUGH*"
I grabbed my controller, constructed a blanket fort, and proceeded to drown myself in Theraflu. I hopped in my big fat Asp and hit the galactic pavement with one solitary mission in mind: GRIND IMPERIAL NAVY RANK. If I could make significant progress in that, my sickness would be worth it.
So I applied a beautiful tactical white skin to my lady and set off pretending to be an ambitious Imperial envoy entrusted to carry sensitive documents to Imperial contacts. So I jumped system to system for hours steadily currying favor with the locals and spreading the word of the Empire's generosity wherever I could.
Problem Number One: My terrible terrible impatience and lack of planning.
As a rule I try and not take missions that are over 2,000ls from the jump point. That being said, this was a rule created yesterday because oh my god why are there stations 248,000ls from the jump point.
Problem Number Two: Human needs.
By day 2 I started to get hungry. As I was a very important Imperial dignitary, I could not afford myself the plebeian pleasures of fetching my own sustenance, so I sent a wing invite to Dominoes (They're sort of like the Fuel Rats but with pizza). When my pilot Muhammad arrived I had to step away from my Asp and answer the door. I told Muhammad he was my hero and a splendid servant of the Empire to which he responded, "Oh, thank you." and high-fived me. Cargo secured, I turned back into my house and looked into the face of terror. I guess I had launched from the station instead of just returning to the surface and a fat red alarm was blaring on my screen: PAD LOITERING. I thought the gas station down the street was serious about loitering, but now the future makes me nervous... I jumped at least 500ft across my living room and snared the controls to awkwardly yank my landing gear up and boost out of the white zone of death. 4 seconds. I had 4 seconds left on the clock before a station opened up on my lightly shielded unarmed Asp. :O
Problem Three: Confused and mentally handicapped pirates.
Let me tell you about interdictions. Oh you know? No, let me tell you about interdictions. All these guys on YouTube think they can tell you how easy it is to avoid interdictions. The past two days, if made into a movie, could be called 48 Hours of Interdictions starring Ryan Reynolds as me. I would evade, and then be an extra 5000ls away from my target, I would submit, and then be shot at a little and then be 5000ls away from my target, and then I would jump out, be immediately interdicted again, evade, AND THEN INTERDICTED BY SOMEONE ELSE. At one point I think there was just a queue with a sign up that said "PLEASE INTERDICT ME". The best part was one time I jumped in after taking a substantial amount of delivery missions and six pirates all jumped with me to my first jump point and all I saw on comms was:
"All that tasty cargo..."
"All that tasty cargo..."
"All that tasty cargo..."
"All that tasty cargo..."
"All that tasty cargo..."
"All that tasty cargo..."
So I flew around the sun in a sort of serpentine pattern and made them all fly into the sun. #EliteLemmings
Problem Four: It's never easy.
It's midnight on day two and I finally have it. The next major rank progression mission and it's a delivery of some illegal goods to an outpost no less- a bit far, but I'm not complaining now. I took it and set off, shook some interdictions, and dropped in to... tons of federal security. It was a swarm of them! I didn't notice until I had boosted at full speed towards the outpost- a MILITARY outpost. I didn't even know there were military outposts! So, I made a split decision to try and land and gingerly went to set her down when something clanked against my hull. A security ship was slowly and stupidly grinding across my cockpit. All I remember is having my eyes wide open screaming, "ARE WE COOL? IS THIS OK? THIS IS COOL, RIGHT?" Thankfully, the pilot had not had his coffee that morning and was dead asleep at the stick and I landed scanless.
So here I am, two days later a Count in the Imperial navy! I'm feeling a bit better and still idolizing the pinup picture of the Cutter I have over my bed.
Fly safe, CMDR's!!!
I grabbed my controller, constructed a blanket fort, and proceeded to drown myself in Theraflu. I hopped in my big fat Asp and hit the galactic pavement with one solitary mission in mind: GRIND IMPERIAL NAVY RANK. If I could make significant progress in that, my sickness would be worth it.
So I applied a beautiful tactical white skin to my lady and set off pretending to be an ambitious Imperial envoy entrusted to carry sensitive documents to Imperial contacts. So I jumped system to system for hours steadily currying favor with the locals and spreading the word of the Empire's generosity wherever I could.
Problem Number One: My terrible terrible impatience and lack of planning.
As a rule I try and not take missions that are over 2,000ls from the jump point. That being said, this was a rule created yesterday because oh my god why are there stations 248,000ls from the jump point.
Problem Number Two: Human needs.
By day 2 I started to get hungry. As I was a very important Imperial dignitary, I could not afford myself the plebeian pleasures of fetching my own sustenance, so I sent a wing invite to Dominoes (They're sort of like the Fuel Rats but with pizza). When my pilot Muhammad arrived I had to step away from my Asp and answer the door. I told Muhammad he was my hero and a splendid servant of the Empire to which he responded, "Oh, thank you." and high-fived me. Cargo secured, I turned back into my house and looked into the face of terror. I guess I had launched from the station instead of just returning to the surface and a fat red alarm was blaring on my screen: PAD LOITERING. I thought the gas station down the street was serious about loitering, but now the future makes me nervous... I jumped at least 500ft across my living room and snared the controls to awkwardly yank my landing gear up and boost out of the white zone of death. 4 seconds. I had 4 seconds left on the clock before a station opened up on my lightly shielded unarmed Asp. :O
Problem Three: Confused and mentally handicapped pirates.
Let me tell you about interdictions. Oh you know? No, let me tell you about interdictions. All these guys on YouTube think they can tell you how easy it is to avoid interdictions. The past two days, if made into a movie, could be called 48 Hours of Interdictions starring Ryan Reynolds as me. I would evade, and then be an extra 5000ls away from my target, I would submit, and then be shot at a little and then be 5000ls away from my target, and then I would jump out, be immediately interdicted again, evade, AND THEN INTERDICTED BY SOMEONE ELSE. At one point I think there was just a queue with a sign up that said "PLEASE INTERDICT ME". The best part was one time I jumped in after taking a substantial amount of delivery missions and six pirates all jumped with me to my first jump point and all I saw on comms was:
"All that tasty cargo..."
"All that tasty cargo..."
"All that tasty cargo..."
"All that tasty cargo..."
"All that tasty cargo..."
"All that tasty cargo..."
So I flew around the sun in a sort of serpentine pattern and made them all fly into the sun. #EliteLemmings
Problem Four: It's never easy.
It's midnight on day two and I finally have it. The next major rank progression mission and it's a delivery of some illegal goods to an outpost no less- a bit far, but I'm not complaining now. I took it and set off, shook some interdictions, and dropped in to... tons of federal security. It was a swarm of them! I didn't notice until I had boosted at full speed towards the outpost- a MILITARY outpost. I didn't even know there were military outposts! So, I made a split decision to try and land and gingerly went to set her down when something clanked against my hull. A security ship was slowly and stupidly grinding across my cockpit. All I remember is having my eyes wide open screaming, "ARE WE COOL? IS THIS OK? THIS IS COOL, RIGHT?" Thankfully, the pilot had not had his coffee that morning and was dead asleep at the stick and I landed scanless.
So here I am, two days later a Count in the Imperial navy! I'm feeling a bit better and still idolizing the pinup picture of the Cutter I have over my bed.
Fly safe, CMDR's!!!
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