-Earth Date 12/25/3300 11:35 p.m. (GMT -7)
Sol by Christmas. That's what I had promised myself. Although I'm not sure why it seemed to matter so much. I guess with all that I've been through in the past few weeks it just means one more step down the path I have chosen. Progress towards my endgame. That's why it matters. Because there's no other reason to have pushed this hard to get here on this day. There is no joy, no peace, no welcome in this holiday or homecoming, not anymore, without my family at my side....
...pause recording
Resume recording...
Home....homecoming..... Bittersweet seems an inadequate word to describe what I'm feeling. As if the same description used for the taste of extra dark chocolate on the back of one's tongue can possess the depth of despair tinged with the small renewal of spirit in seeing Earth after nearly twenty years that I'm feeling. I guess Earth is the only place I'll ever think of as home so that's something. But now our dreams of coming back to Earth and setting up some little quaint shop in some little quaint town after our contract was up are like dust in space. Empty and meaningless. Still, it's good to be near something familiar after so long a time. I won't be sticking around but it's as good a place as any to be for a few weeks to earn some credits and continue to upgrade the ship.
Speaking of which, upon my arrival to the system I received confirmation from Saitek Corp that my flight control upgrades that I ordered a few systems back are ready to be installed and calibrated. About time too. I'm tired of keypad and touchscreen only controls. There is just nothing like the precision that comes from having a flight stick and a throttle in your hands. It connects you more solidly to your ship. Makes you one with it. And I'm going to need all the precision and oneness I can get for the next phases.
I've been trying to playback my previous log entries but have not been having any luck. My flight recorder must have taken some damage in that last interdiction I escaped. I can see the recordings are there, just not playable. I hope I can get them back. If for no other reason to serve as witness to what I have embarked upon and to prove that I'm not doing this because I'm overwhelmed by grief to the point that I have lost my sanity, or that revenge is my sole motivation. Although to be truthful to myself revenge is a bit part of it. But there HAS to be some measure of justice for what The Corporation has taken from me. The two things I hold must dear in my life were taken from me, brutally, and all The Corporation could do was discard their memory like toxic waste being dumped in an empty sector of space. No, this isn't just about revenge for my family....It's about making sure the true perpetrators of this crime are brought so low by the despair and grief I will inflict on their lives that this never happens to ANYONE ever again!
...end log
Sol by Christmas. That's what I had promised myself. Although I'm not sure why it seemed to matter so much. I guess with all that I've been through in the past few weeks it just means one more step down the path I have chosen. Progress towards my endgame. That's why it matters. Because there's no other reason to have pushed this hard to get here on this day. There is no joy, no peace, no welcome in this holiday or homecoming, not anymore, without my family at my side....
...pause recording
Resume recording...
Home....homecoming..... Bittersweet seems an inadequate word to describe what I'm feeling. As if the same description used for the taste of extra dark chocolate on the back of one's tongue can possess the depth of despair tinged with the small renewal of spirit in seeing Earth after nearly twenty years that I'm feeling. I guess Earth is the only place I'll ever think of as home so that's something. But now our dreams of coming back to Earth and setting up some little quaint shop in some little quaint town after our contract was up are like dust in space. Empty and meaningless. Still, it's good to be near something familiar after so long a time. I won't be sticking around but it's as good a place as any to be for a few weeks to earn some credits and continue to upgrade the ship.
Speaking of which, upon my arrival to the system I received confirmation from Saitek Corp that my flight control upgrades that I ordered a few systems back are ready to be installed and calibrated. About time too. I'm tired of keypad and touchscreen only controls. There is just nothing like the precision that comes from having a flight stick and a throttle in your hands. It connects you more solidly to your ship. Makes you one with it. And I'm going to need all the precision and oneness I can get for the next phases.
I've been trying to playback my previous log entries but have not been having any luck. My flight recorder must have taken some damage in that last interdiction I escaped. I can see the recordings are there, just not playable. I hope I can get them back. If for no other reason to serve as witness to what I have embarked upon and to prove that I'm not doing this because I'm overwhelmed by grief to the point that I have lost my sanity, or that revenge is my sole motivation. Although to be truthful to myself revenge is a bit part of it. But there HAS to be some measure of justice for what The Corporation has taken from me. The two things I hold must dear in my life were taken from me, brutally, and all The Corporation could do was discard their memory like toxic waste being dumped in an empty sector of space. No, this isn't just about revenge for my family....It's about making sure the true perpetrators of this crime are brought so low by the despair and grief I will inflict on their lives that this never happens to ANYONE ever again!
...end log