The Martian

[missmartian]

The promise of 'Forever'

I’ve never made a promise I never intended to keep, everything I said that I would do I have done. Without fail each and every time but not today. You see a little while ago I made a promise to a guy that I love more than life itself, I promised him ‘forever’, that I would be by his side from this life to the next. Today I broke it, not because I wanted to but because I felt I had to; I learnt the hard way the value of a life and because of that I have to break my promise to him.

I guess I’m not writing this for me, or for you but for him. So he knows that the reason I existed was for him, that he knows that I am nothing without him by my side and that I’ll be gone like a ghost.

 

[missmartian]

Awakening - Saying goodbye to her

Love doesn’t make sense, it is completely nonsensical but we keep doing it regardless otherwise we end up lost. Without love we end up a cold twisted shell with no one around us, you might pretend to have friends but they won’t be real friends if you can’t open your heart. When we were stuck out there it wasn’t perfect and what followed isn’t perfect either, in fact it’s one of the most painful things I’ll ever go through. I can’t vow to be perfect but I can promise to love that one person from this life to the next…


********************************


I hadn’t reacted well at the last session; I had got annoyed at her and smashed up the tablet. The worst part is the way she recoiled from me, it was unforgettable; the look of fear on her face, it was something that would haunt me. She had never once been scared of me, she may have got annoyed at me but never was she afraid of me, maybe without her being her I was going back to the monster I once was.


I sat on the new bench outside her room, I held a small bag in my hands which contained a gift I was supposed to give her on new year’s eve but at the time it didn’t feel right and now I wasn’t sure if I should give it to her at all. The corridor was deathly silent so when I heard heavy boots hit the ground I knew exactly who was approaching.


“Afternoon Niatra,” I didn’t look up as he cast his shadow over me.


“Hey, listen I just want to apologise.”


“Don’t,” I cut him off before he could finish.


“No, I can’t not; I am sorry for my behaviour last time. I know I’ve been ignoring you on visits since but I shouldn’t have said what I did. I’ve seen you around her and as your friend I’m truly sorry for the pain it causes you for being near her.” He sat next to me and outstretched his hand; I took it and gave it a firm shake.


“No apples with you?” I asked, he pulled out a shiny red one from his pocket and showed it to me.


“What’s in the bag Jammy?” I pulled out the gift I had brought her; it was a bright red ruby; it was cut in the shape of a heart, weighed 10 carats and hung on a silvery white platinum chain. I passed it to him and he examined it carefully in awe. “It’s absolutely beautiful, must have cost a fortune.”


“You sort of paid for it too,” I smiled as he rummaged through his pockets checking his cards.


“I haven’t taken anything but you owe me a few hundred thousand credits, so do a few others. It’s a thank you gift to her, for being her.”


“It’s perfect; from me for being the sister I’ve always wanted, from you for making you a better person.”


“Hey, I always was a good person. She just made it possible for others to see it; she gave me the time of day and made sure that others did too. Remember how much you and Parox disliked me at first?”


“Yeah, I thought you were trouble and Parox was annoyed at the rebuy you gave him. But she kinda forced us to talk to each other and once we got to know you we realised that you weren’t entirely insane. You’re like a French cheese, foul at first but once you hang around you’re not so bad.”


“Thanks for comparing me to cheese.”


“My pleasure, but yeah don’t give this to her.”


“Why?”


“You’ll only confuse her; right now she is a year behind and she’s happy being in that room with her boyfriend. One day she might remember us and we’ll have our weird dysfunctional family back.”


“And if she doesn’t?”


“Then we get to know that she is happy and I think that’s the most important thing to be honest. In the ideal world, I’d persuade her to come back to PalCon where she can be safe and happy, but we’re strangers to her. She doesn’t remember us; she can’t picture us all sitting around playing games on our tablets, she doesn’t recall the drunken nights in the pub and the singing and she doesn’t remember the times we’ve flown together at CG’s.” He tried to make himself look happy but he failed miserably and sat back looking worse for wear.


“It’s hard to be okay I know. I’ve spoken to her every single day; I can’t recall a single day when I haven’t heard her voice either on comms or face to face. It’s not easy being there all the time and having that much contact to one day being nothing.”


“She’ll remember us; somehow or someday our Martian will be Martian again. And she’ll come running to hug us and fall flat on her face a few feet from us where she’s tripped up on something.” I couldn’t help but smile, she was so damn clumsy at times; even when standing still she figured out a way to lose her balance and topple over.


“That’s her; our strange girl from Mars.” I got off the bench and stretched, I had been sat in one place for so long I hadn’t realised how uncomfortable I was.


“You’re not coming back are you?” He asked as I took the ruby off him and placed it back in the bag.


“Not while she’s like this; not when she’s living the wrong life where I’m nothing to her.”


“Where will you go?”


“I don’t know, maybe somewhere I can have my own fresh start.” I walked over to the door and peered through the small viewing window, inside she was cuddled up to him watching something on a tablet. “I don’t want to live forever because I know I’ll be living in pain; I’ll be waiting till you come back home,” I muttered to myself as I look one last look at her.


“The second I hear she’s remembering you I’ll make contact, till then I’ll leave you to your devices.” He stood up and came over to shake my hand, “fly safe Jammy.” As I let go of his hand I gave him a quick nod and headed to the exit.


**************************


Back at Jameson I went past all my ships that she had lived on; my yellow Anaconda, yellow FDL, yellow Corvette, yellow FAS and yellow Clipper. You can see the recurring theme can’t you? As I arrived at the yellow Hauler I had just purchased and the one ship I had she had never been on I smiled to myself as I stood in front of her. Oh how the mighty have fallen eh? Well this one doesn’t remind me of her so it’s a logical choice. I might never get her back to way she was; the way she roared in laugher, the snorting and kicking her head back. The squeals of delight when she got excited at hitting something with a PA, the eyes dilating whenever she got close. The high-pitched voice when she was fibbing and the giggles when she was up to something; such a bad liar but I knew her tells. If she comes back, then I’ll be here and if not then I guess move on too…

 

[missmartian]

Awakening - Playing to win

So here I am, end of an era really; Sergeant Jammy; terrorist, murderer, mercenary and pirate. Those are what I am and have been, they say that people don’t change but I tried, I really did. Not for me but for her, hell even as a monster she looked at me in such a way that it made something inside me have feelings and that hadn’t happened in a long time. Sure I cared about friends and all but I’d still destroy their ship for fun but with her I felt a twinge of guilt when I did so. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, I’m haunted by her ghost.


**************


I had pulled another trader from supercruise and sent him a comms request which he accepted.


“Look mate you know how this goes; give me your cargo yada yada yada.”


“You can off, I’m not giving you squat,” the fat T9 boosted off while I just looked at through the canopy of my new vulture. I sighed before chasing after him and hurtling plasma shots to his engines.


“Is your cargo really worth your life? Just make it easy on yourself and drop 10 tonnes.” I hit him a few more times before he vanished, “stupid infected ship.” I punched the console several times out of frustration before heading into the back to wash my face.


Since the hyperdictions more and more ships were being infected with some sort of virus. Honourable people got their ship cleansed but scum like that trader there found a way to use the infection to disappear from space and time as we know it. If I had known it was an infected ship I would have destroyed, the policy is for these ships to be destroyed on sight.


I cleaned my face and headed back into supercruise to find another trader to pirate from, I didn’t need the money I was just bored and fancied a change. I had been tempted to head to Gende to where she was but I was in two minds as I didn’t know what I’d say to her. Even I don’t know how I really feel about her, is she a friend or something more to me? I don’t know, all I know is that I need her. I need her here in my co-pilot’s chair gossiping about how her and Niatra did something silly or hearing her moan at me for booping ships or that warm hug to sate me when I’m feeling frustrated. Part of me wants to drown her out of my mind as it’s driving me insane; I need a drink.


I headed to the nearest space port to find a bar where I could grab something decent. Shot after shot I began to feel numb and found a way to block out the pain, once the bar refused to serve me more I headed back to the ship.


I stumbled up the stairs and collapsed by the entrance hatch, my head hit the floor with a thud and everything went black.


*******************


When I woke, I knew something was wrong, my head wasn’t on the pillow but in a lap. As I opened my eyes I saw her, my favourite face.


“Martian, you’re back?” I asked her, she smiled sweetly back to me and shook her head.


“You’re just dreaming baby, I’m sorry.” It felt nice as ran her fingers through my hair, the way she gently pulled her nails along the scalp.


“What’s going on?” I asked as I took her hand to kiss it.


“I think you should be answering the questions,” she pushed my head off and pointed to a woman who was standing by the mirror. “Blonde eh? Didn’t know that was your type.”


“Don’t tell me you’re jealous, you’re not even here.” I sat up and watched her eye up the woman carefully before sitting on the edge of the bed.


“And that makes it okay does it?”


“Are you expecting an apology? We’re not even together, so I’m not cheating on you and wait why are you here? Do you remember everything now?”


“Jammy you’re an idiot, I’m not jealous but you feel guilty that you slept with her. Don’t get me wrong, if I were here I’d be chucking her out of the airlock without an EVA suit but I’m not here. So, tell me why her?”


“Yeah, you’re not jealous at all are you?”


“Oh shush, so tell me what I need to know.”


“When I’m blind drunk I don’t dream of you, girls like her are a side effect.”


“Girls?” She’s raised her eyebrows in surprise to that comment.


“It doesn’t matter how many. You’re not here and we’re not together.”


“Are you angry at me?”


“This is your fault. I told you we shouldn’t haven’t shared the pod, I should have left you crying in yours.” She got off the bed and came over to slap me hard on the face.


“You idiot, I couldn’t bear my life without you. You better figure out what you want sooner rather than later, because what I see right now isn’t something that I’d want.”


As she walked out the bedroom I lay back and closed my eyes. I wanted this nightmare to end.


*****************************
When I woke up I heard a woman talking, I thought maybe I was dreaming but then I smelled her perfume and knew I was awake. As I opened my eyes I could see a young blond woman brushing her hair whilst standing in front of the mirror that laid opposite the bed, I realised something was wrong an jumped out of bed.


“Good morning you,” she said when she noticed me. She came over and kissed me on my lips, “I’m glad you enjoyed last night.” As she winked at me before going back to the mirror I realised I wasn’t wearing anything, I grabbed the quilt from the bed and covered myself up.


“Who are you and what are you doing here?”


“Forgotten already Jammy? We met in the bar last night and you invited me back to show me something pretty.” She pointed to a necklace she was wearing, a surge of anger filled me as I saw she was wearing the ruby necklace I got for Martian.


“Take that off right now!” I yelled to her.


“I’m a little sore from last night but okay,” she undid her dressing gown and let it slip to the floor.


“Put your clothes back on you stupid woman, I was talking about the necklace. Return it and get the hell out of my ship.” Offended she yanked the necklace off and threw it onto the bed before grabbing her things and leaving. I picked up the necklace and held it in my hand as I sat on the bed; I looked at my reflection in the mirror and felt sick.


I was falling back into old ways and becoming something else, the only reminder of her that I had on this ship was the necklace I wanted to give to her. I put it back in the drawer and headed into the shower.


****************


Before this moment, I knew I loved her but was never 100% sure but now I was. Everything I have and everything I am is for her; I was going to bring her home no matter the cost. I was going to win.

 

[missmartian]

Awakening - The place where night and day are one and the same.

The place where night and day are one and the same…


It took me 3 tries to catch the stupid moon in my FDL, once in its gravity I felt disoriented as I headed closer to the surface. As I scouted the little moon I found several POIs which I checked whilst airborne but nothing jumped out at me as significant, I thought I’d open my comms locally to see if there was something to find on this barren rock. As I opened the comms I was surprised to hear something other than the usual static that happens when the comms are enabled for all. Down the comms music was being played, a song I remember from a distant life.

“If it takes forever I will wait for you…” The music stopped and all that could be heard was static, I stopped my ship and reversed till I could hear it again.

“Till I’m holding you, till I hear you sigh…” Again it stopped so I changed my heading till it came back; at times it was faint on the comms and at others it was incredibly clear. The song was on repeat which helped me figure out where it was coming from, as I slowly made my way following the lyrics something caught my eye on the horizon.


“The time when you return and find me here and run, straight to my waiting arms…” As I saw the FDL I knew the music was coming from there, I turned off the comms and headed straight for it as fast as I could, 4 pips to engines I kept boosting every few seconds to get there with urgency. I parked up right next to it and grabbed the helmet for my EVA suit on the way to the hatch, as I raced down the stairs all thought of common sense and wariness went out the window. I opened the hatch for the other FDL and headed straight to the bridge.


The bridge had the majority of the lights turned out, the only light came the headlights of my ship and a few candles dotted around the consoles. I barely noticed the figure in the corner, as he stood I could his face was hidden by the darkness and the hood that covered his head. But one thing was clear, the eyes; I pulled off my helmet and let it drop to the floor with a thud.


“For countless nights you have haunted my dreams, I am unable to see your face but the eyes are the one thing that stays with me. I have searched for what feels like an entire lifetime for this place, where night and day are one and the same. I still don’t know who you are or what my relationship to you is but the one thing I am unequivocally sure on is that I love you. I love you as though the rose loves the sun, the way she longs for the warmth and I feel her pain when the sun disappears. For god knows how long it has felt as though nails have been torn from fingers as I have done everything in my power to find you and this place. I live and breathe for you.”


The figure stood motionless as I made my impassionate plea, he took a step forward and outstretched his hand searching for mine. As our fingers touched my heart raced, he brought his face to mine and I could smell his aftershave, it was intoxicating, it felt as though I was drowning. As his lips pressed against mine everything went hazy.


**************************


I awoke several hours later in my bed; I was wrapped in nothing more than my sheets. The previous night was just a mere memory now, as I touched my lips with my fingers flashes of the night came back. As I touched my shoulder I felt his breath against my skin. I pulled the sheets closer as I climbed out of bed and into the bathroom; it had been recently used as there was still steam lingering on the mirror. As I wiped it away I stared back at my reflection, light scratches were on my shoulders; I stared into my eyes and everything went black.


If it takes forever I will wait for you. For a thousand summers, I will wait for you

 

[missmartian]

His story part 5

After what my best did to me everything changed in my life, you remember Johnny don’t you? My best friend who betrayed me? We’ll finish that story one day but not right now. But yes after what he did I couldn’t trust anyone and I built a wall around me to never let anyone in, I had friends but no one I could really confide in. It was like that for a long time, so when the walls came tumbling down I didn’t even know; it’s like I felt something but I didn’t know what it was. I found one person who just got me and no matter what I said or did she still followed me around. At first, it was like having an abandoned puppy, I guess she sort of was when I met her; she was lost too and built a wall around her too. But we became friends and began to confide in each other, before long we were best friends and sort of lived for each other. Where one of us was the other wasn’t far behind, it was a nice change of pace as to her I wasn’t a monster, I was a real person and she found that by giving me the time of day. I’ve been keeping an eye on her still and she’s slowly getting fragments of her real life back and I think I have a way for her to remember everything.


**************************


As I landed my ship I began to feel excited, she wasn’t far behind and before long she’ll remember everything, remember me. I ran around my FDL making sure everything was ready, I set the voice comms on open and started broadcasting her favourite song to whoever was listening in a hundred light second radius. Her favourite food was ready in the oven to take out, all I had to do was sit and wait for her.


So I sat and waited; ‘the place where night and day are one and the same’. Well, here I was ready and waiting for her to arrive…


I kept checking on the sensors every few minutes but nothing yet.


“Why is she always late?” I fell asleep looking at the sensors and woke up several hours later both hungry and thirsty, my throat felt sore from where I’d slept with my mouth wide open. I checked the sensors and comms but nothing, so I headed to the kitchen and had the fish finger sandwich I had made for her.


****************************************


A week later and still nothing, I had taken breaks from her place to restock supplies as I had only brought enough for a few days but I was sure she would come. I couldn’t explain how I knew, I just did and sure enough…


This was her happy place and I know that somewhere deep inside there is a part that still belongs to me, I know it’ll fight and yell till she notices but I’m not exactly patient. I sat in the pilot’s chair with my cloak resting on the console; I had used it once before when she went to Vesuvit. I knew she wanted to know more about The Cult of Quozl, the system as you remember was rife with war and I wanted to make sure that she was safe. I guess it was at that time I started feeling something, you’d think she’d notice that it was me but I think part of her wanted us to be just friends. She’s been hurt before so she only saw the eyes and they gave her some comfort at least.


I switched the ship back on to do another scan of the area and see if she was close, sure enough another ship was dropping out of SC, I put her song back on the comms and waited for her to find me…


She looked a little confused as she came aboard the ship, in her eyes she knew it was me when she saw the ship. Who else uses a bright yellow FDL? She started to speak, I wish I had paid attention but I wasn’t listening, I was too busy concentrating on her. Her hazel eyes full of wonder, the way her long brown hair fell to her shoulders; there was a hint of red at the tips where she must have dyed it recently. Chanel number 5, her perfume was intoxicating and filled the bridge of its scent; as she took each step forward my heart began thumping faster and faster. As she stood within touching distance I couldn’t wait a second longer…


*************************


She’s my favourite face. The one I wake up for and the one I think of last thing at night, for a lifetime it felt that she would never be mine but no longer. I don’t plan on letting her go and I will always be here for her till she asks me to leave; I promised her forever and that’s one promise I will keep.

 

[missmartian]

Awakening - Restraints

These past few months have been, well I don’t really have the words to describe them to be honest. It felt like I was watching someone else control my body and the only time I could do anything was when she was asleep. I tried so hard to break out of my chains but that we all want to do isn’t it? We were all kids once and had big dreams on what we wanted to do and become but before we realised it we stuck in a mundane life wondering how we got there. We all want to believe that there is something more out there but we always hold ourselves back because it’s not proper or the smart choice. Screw the smart choice, stop being boring and live your life instead of surviving.


***************************************


As I opened my eyes I could see Innocence staring back at me, her face just a few inches from mine, she smiled sweetly and placed my glasses on my face so I could see my surroundings. Death sat on my left and Destruction on my right, I was in the library on board the Bemouth and leant back on the sofa I was on.


“Oh great,” I muttered to myself.


“Nice to see you too,” replied Death. She got off the sofa and walked to one of the many bookshelves on the walls, as she perused the books I spied Innocence had made herself a nest of cushions in the corner and was happily reading to herself.


“So what was it this time?” I asked them.


“Always so negative, why always presume you’ve hurt yourself? Maybe we’re just here to say hi for once,” answered Destruction.


“Is this true?” I asked Death, she had found a book of her liking and sat next to Innocence to start reading.


“Indeed, for once we’re just here. No ulterior motives, plus we wanted to show you that we’re now getting along without animosity and without us trying to kill each other to take over.”


“Err, okay I guess; so what happens now?”


“Nothing, we’re playing nice and doing our best to keep you alive. Although it helps that you no longer have any regrets with what you have done in the past; you’ve accepted everything and have come to the conclusion that you really have no regrets. Now that you’re at peace, we are too;” replied Innocence.


“But I already had no regrets, didn’t I?”


“To a point yes but not fully. You had to go through everything to really appreciate those around you; part of you still resented Jammy from taking you away from your family but the idea of facing a world without him terrified you to your core. You can’t imagine a life without him and your bond of friendship is something that nothing can ever sever, it’s quite beautiful in some weird way. Part of you hated that your friends were heathens and you still carried some prejudice against pilot hunters from your family but not anymore. What happened showed that pilot hunters stick together, you might all fight and bicker at times but when push comes to shove you will always look out for your own. Most of the galaxy will continue to hate you and wish that you would all go away but they seem to forget that you’re part of the galaxy that they love. When the time comes you’ll be needed more than ever, they’ll still hate you for it but a few of them will finally appreciate your place.” The words that Innocence spoke were true to a degree but I had just buried my thoughts.


“When what will come?” I asked them.


“Now that’ll be telling, by the way you’ll want to wake up,” Destruction said.


****************


As the images flashed through my dreams it felt overwhelming as the two sets of memories were merging in my brain. I thought when I would regain my life that it would a few flashes and that would be it but this was painful; as I relived the lost year I was filled with a mixture of emotions: love, anger, acceptance, betrayal, loyalty, more love and then finally loss. The last one hurt, it felt as though my heart was breaking in two and I wanted it to stop; these feelings are too much for one person and I thought I would explode.


I woke screaming in pain, my heart hurt and tears streamed down my face; my vision was blurry and all I saw was a dim light coming from the far right of where I was. I screamed in hysterics and then suddenly stopped as two warm arms took hold of me, I felt a kiss on my head, I clawed to the figure holding me and rested my head on their chest. A door slammed open and light erupted from the ceilings.


“Madam are you okay? We heard you screaming from down the hall and your heart rate spiked in the 150’s.”


“She’s fine, just a nightmare, pass me her glasses so she can see please?” The voice belonged to the one person who can calm me no matter what, I had stopped screaming but the tears still streamed down my face. “Put the lamp on please but switch off the main lights.” The glasses were gently put on so I could finally see the face, my favourite face; the one who promised he’d be here when I woke up. I was breathing heavily and my head felt like it was swimming, everything inside me ached and I didn’t think I could bear it any longer.


“Shhhhh, it’s okay I’m here. Shhhhh, calm down.” He held me tightly as I tried to breathe normally.


“Jammy… It was a nightmare; it was like I was trapped inside my head but unable to do anything… You said you wouldn’t leave me… Don’t leave me now, please?” He pulled my head to his chest and held me as I mumbled.


“It’s fine, forget about that. I’m here now and nothing will stop me from leaving your side ever again. Just look at me and slow your breathing okay, there’ll be time to talk later but right now you need to slow your heart rate.” I concentrated on his face and began to calm down, an eternity passed before I was breathing normally and before long my tears had subsided.


“What happened? Where were you?” I asked him, with my head on his chest I could hear the gentle thump of his heart and it helped me regulate my breathing.


“It doesn’t matter, nothing else does.”


“I’m so sorry, I was screaming inside telling her to find you. I tried my hardest but I felt that I only had control when she was asleep, I kept thinking of my favourite place. Mitterrand Hollow but she couldn’t remember much when she woke up but your eyes.” I caressed his face with my hand, he took my hand and kissed it gently before holding me tightly in his arms.


“I know but it doesn’t matter, all that matters is that you’re here with me. I knew you were inside and that eventually, you’d come back to us.”


“Where am I? Last thing I remember I was on the Aries.” I asked him.


“You’re in the hospital in Brestla. After happy fun times I left to make breakfast, when I brought it to the room you were on the floor of the bathroom. The doctors said you passed out, you’ve got two sets of lives swimming around in that beautiful head of yours. It’ll take a little while for them to merge but in the end you’ll be okay.”


“What happens now? Where do we go?”


“Well right now you’re going to get cleaned up and do some hunting with me before Niatra comes and steals you from me.”


“I like that idea very much.” Jammy gave me one last kiss before letting me go to get changed.


************************************


As we ducked and dived through the rocks in nearby rings I felt complete, really complete this time around. I was with the people I adore the most who really do accept me for who I am quirks and all. I don’t ever have to pretend I’m someone I’m not because the pilots here are just like me. They’re true to their inner selves and are not ashamed for it, and why should they? They just choose to live their lives as they see fit whether they be miners, traders or even pilot hunters. But we should never be afraid to just say no the restraints that society places on us, there is nothing wrong with trading one day and pilot hunting the next; never be afraid to be who you want to be; blaze your own trail and be free.

 

[missmartian]

His story part 6

My previous life was full of so much treachery and deceit it’s a wonder how I’m still alive. After what happened with Johnny I closed myself off to the world except for a few people. But even they didn’t know the real me. No, I was happy being a pilot hunter and content with the world I had built for myself, but then I made a mistake, a big one. No, a really really big one… I tried to kill a pilot at a CG, not just any pilot mind, one who came into my world and changed everything. She tore down the walls that I had built up to hide from everyone, she invaded every part of my life with her interrogation like questions and most importantly she made me the man I am today. You’re nobody till somebody loves you…


************************


Jump after jump Federation ships followed me, 58 seconds on the dot; I barely had enough time to scoop before they pulled me from supercruise and attacked me. The first few times I fought back but the ships just kept coming no matter how many I destroyed; I stopped after the 3rd jump to conserve what ammo I had left. Jump after jump, it felt like torture, I didn’t have time to rest or eat or anything. I jumped, scooped and waited for the inevitable interdiction; I tired low waking or not scooping and jumping immediately but they always found me. I knew there was a tracker on the ship but with them chasing me like this I didn’t have the time to remove it let alone locate it. For hours maybe even days this went on and then nothing.


59 seconds, 60 seconds, 61 seconds. Tick, tock, I looked down at my watch and nothing, maybe they had given up? They had chased me for hundreds of light years all over the bubble but not here, the name of the system was Gende, an imperial system so maybe that is why they didn’t enter but it didn’t stop them earlier. I dropped out of supercruise a few thousand light seconds from the star; I had to hunt the tracker before they found me. I checked the usual places and bingo it was in the escape pod, I crushed it under my foot; I moved a few thousand light seconds away just to be sure and finally when I felt safe I went and climbed into one of the beds in the back. There I slept for what felt like an eternity.




******************************


When I awoke it felt cold and was dim, the emergency lighting and life support were the only things working on in the ship; I had forgotten to switch off unnecessary systems so I was running on vapours. As I went to the bridge there wasn’t enough fuel to get me out of here so I sent an emergency hail to the fuel rats, their ETA wasn’t long so I wouldn’t have the ship explode around me but it was long enough for ice to start forming on the panels. I sat in the pilots' chair waiting for them, I had grabbed as much bedding as I could find and wrapped it around myself to try and keep warm. I was so cold I struggled to stay awake.


A short while later a bright beam of light hit the canopy, rescue had come finally. I could hear the limpets hit the underside of the ship and as I started switching everything on I could see the fuel gauge go up bit by bit; before long I had full tank and the warmth crept up inside me like fire, I said thank you to the rescue team and headed to Ballunas Hub to figure out my next move. I smuggled myself into the station to skip the usual scans as this ship would probably be registered as stolen and I didn’t fancy a fire fight. Before I undocked I thought it best to see what supplies were on board first, as I went to the medicine cabinet I finally got a look at myself and was shocked at the sight, my usual clean-shaven face was replaced by a beard. It had definitely been about a week, at the realisation of how long it had been I felt a huge ache in my stomach, it’d been days since I last ate and I needed something now. The ship didn’t have a kitchen just a pantry with supplies, within minutes half the stores were empty of both food and drink; feeling sated I cleaned myself up to look a little more human.


Once on the station I went looking for a buyer for the ship, used Federal Assault Ships are usually sold for over 15 million credits even if they’re completely stock, this one however was completely A- Rated but as she was stolen I knew I’d be looking at a hefty discount. One the docks I found a man buying and selling used ships so I approached him to see how much he’d pay for her.


“So what do you think?” The bulk heads alone are worth 17 million, so give me a good price okay, brand new and outfitted as she is she’d cost 88 million so let’s agree on 50 million?” I asked after I gave him a tour of the ship. He roared with laughter and almost keeled over; I fought the urge to snap his neck and clenched my fists instead.


“50 million boy? You must be joking and if you’re not then there’s something wrong with you, no one will give you 50 million for a stolen federal ship and definitely not in imperial space, you’re lucky you weren’t shot on sight as you docked. So I’ll do you a favour okay, no one is going to buy the ship, money is in the weapons, utility slots and optional internals. The core internals are all going to be marked with military insignia which means no one is going to buy it; most I’ll actually make is about 15 million profit on that if I can’t get a buyer for the rest.”


“So what are you going to give me then?” I asked, he could see that I was getting angry and by the blood on my clothes he should know it wouldn’t end well for him.


“A stock Asp Explorer and a million cash.”


“Screw you, I’ll sell it myself. Pirates looking to impersonate federal ships will buy it or I’ll go somewhere else.”


“And you have the contacts do you? You’ll sooner starve to death than anything else, especially in a ruthless place like this. I’ll throw in some good weapons and give you an extra half a million cash so you can buy some cargo to get yourself trading too?”


“Trading? No. I’m a combat pilot, I don’t trade.”


“Son,” he put his hand on my shoulder, “you’re in an Asp that couldn’t outrun a fat kid. Judging by how’re you’re dressed and your demeanour you didn’t resign. I’ve seen kids like you throughout my long life so I’ll get you your keys and cash so you can start afresh.” I thought about this for a few minutes before relenting, he had a point, I didn’t know much about where I was or where the nearest black-market is.


“Fine, I accept your terms.”


“Perfect, now let’s go and get everything sorted.”


*********


As I undocked from the station in my almost new flying brick I knew one day I’d have my revenge, the Corvette that belonged to the man who murdered my team and spawned my best friend would one day be mine. Even if it took me years to work my way up in civilian life I will have what is rightfully mine.

 

[missmartian]

Awakening - Happy Endings

So here I am with my happy ending; I have my family, my friends and finally the guy. Not just any guy but The Guy; the guy who keeps me safe, keeps me sane and most importantly loves me no matter what. In his eyes I can do no wrong and vice versa, he might vex me on occasion but he’s my everything and trust me he knows it. For once everything is finally going my way; all the pieces of the puzzle have fallen into place and I no longer have any nightmares or worry about the past; everything is perfect. During the day I do my duties as a pilot hunter and in the evening I go back to the person who is my whole world.


There is one thing however that les at the back of my head, those in Kehperi; I’ve been sending messages to apologise but every message goes unanswered. I want to know that they’re okay, safe and most importantly happy. I had tried sending Dan, the miner, messages but he ignored all of them, even with Adam the messages had no reply. Part of me is surprised at this, they were the people I was closest to but neither one will speak to me. I still don’t understand how they hate me so; the human mind is peculiar in this case. Last I heard is that their mining company was still up and running but had changed their stock type as the engineers no longer required commodities but other than that they supplied everything that was needed. In my eyes it was time to bury the hatchet and apologise for everything I had done; to say sorry for being friends with pilot hunters and sorry for preferring that life over what I had.


*******************************

“Oh dear,” I was in the middle of breakfast at the pub when Niatra came up to me.


“Something wrong?” I asked him, I checked my top thinking I had dropped my cereal on my top.


“That look on your face,” he replied; he sat down next to me with his bowl of cereal.


“What look may I ask?”


“The one that says that you want to do something but you know the outcome won’t be good but you’re going to do it regardless and you’ll kick yourself when the outcome is exactly what you expect.” He looked up as he took a mouthful to see Jammy approaching with a plate stacked high with toast and a drink.


“She about to do something she shouldn’t?” He asked Niatra.


“I’m right here,” I said annoyed at being left out again.


“Yeah she had that look on her face,” Niatra replied.


“Yeah okay I’m not dealing with this. Tag you’re it.” Jammy walked off with his breakfast and left Niatra and I.


“I’m not doing anything I shouldn’t,” I pleaded to Niatra.


“Tell me and I’ll be the judge of that.”


“I want to apologise to Polly for everything I did,” Niatra choked on his cereal and spluttered as he tried to catch his breath. He got up from the chair and stood up, “where are you going?”


“I know how this is going to turn out and I want no part of this,” he headed to where Jammy was sat. “Parox!” He yelled at the top of his lungs; Parox had just exited the office area from the back of the pub and look startled at being yelled at so early in the morning.


“What is it?” He called out.


“Tag you’re it,” he yelled back and pointed to my direction. I could see Parox sigh and he slowly trudged over.


“So what are you planning on doing that has scared the others?” He flopped on the chair next to me and rested his head in his hands in anticipation.


“I want to make amends with TLC; I want to make sure they’re okay and most importantly happy,” he banged his head on the table several times and then turned to where the boys were and made an obscenity with his hands to them. I could hear them roar with laughter from their table as they blew kisses to Parox.


“Fine, meet me in my office in 2 hours and we’ll come up with a game plan.”


**************************


As I entered his office later that morning Parox looked a little stressed then he did so earlier, I sat opposite him and waited till he had finished at his screen; he passed me a sealed envelope before he spoke.


“I used your account to send a simple message to Polly, Adam and Dan; the first replied and the other two ignored you. I can see they read the message but they have no intention of replying.”


“What did Polly’s reply say?” I asked him.


“One word; he just said acknowledged.”


“Is that it?”


“Yeah, I wouldn’t worry about it. You did the grown up thing and apologised despite not doing anything wrong; if he and the others want to be petty, well that’s up to them. But no one can ever say you didn’t try and bury the hatchet, besides after they were caught using infected ships its best you stay away anyway. No respected pilot wants to tarnish their reputation by having association with them anymore so you did yourself a favour by leaving.”


“Thank you Parox,” I bid him goodbye and left his office to meet up with Jammy.


I found him in the docking bay sat in his EVA suit by his ship, he was reading something on his tablet and as I approached closer he set it down on the chair next to him.


“You look pleased with yourself,” he said.


“Yeah, everything is perfect. No regrets, no ling at the back of my head and I’m content. I’ve one question though, how did Parox know my passwords for my accounts?” He grinned at me like a cheshire cat.


“Oh look a butterfly,” he pointed in a random direction and I slapped his hand down.


“Yeah that’s my line,” he pulled me down onto his lap and hugged me tightly.


“Grab your EVA suit,” he whispered in my ear; he kissed me on cheek before letting me go. As I walked away he called out to me, “are you happy now?”


“Never been happier,” I replied back.


*******************


This chapter in my life was finally finished, it hadn’t been an easy one. At times it was a long and difficult road but I’m glad it was because if I hadn’t gone through hell and back the lesson at the end may not have been clear. Right from the moment I saw him I knew there was something under the façade, and over time I was able to love again because without love we’re no one. Even now as I watch him playing with his phone I know that I’m going to love this man as much as I can till my lungs give out and that I can never stop loving him, not even for a second. I carried that lesson through every petty argument we’ve had, every sleepy Sunday morning and every twinge of jealousy that came our way.


I have a new life here and I know that no matter what comes my way I’ll be able to plough through it…

 

[missmartian]

His story part 7

You are the sun who provides me with everything I need to survive. You are the moon who shines the light in my otherwise empty and dark world. You are the stars who watch over me from afar when you’re not able to be here by my side. Everything I have, everything I am is yours; from now until my last breath.


***************


I was in a deep slumber when the curtains opened and the bright light came crashing in. I instantly shielded my eyes and swore at the person who caused me to wake. As my eyes adjusted I saw the person responsible smile at me before crawling back into bed to pull me onto his chest.


Jammy and I were visiting our shared water world not far from the bubble, we had taken my Conda and had been hovering a few hundred feet above the water for the night. With a 32-tonne fuel tank, we could stay hovering like this for another day at least before needing to refuel.


“Why did you wake me so early?” I asked as I rested my head on his chest.


“Because I was bored, besides I have something to show you. So you get cleaned up and I’ll meet you on the observation deck in 20 minutes.”


“I need longer than 20 minutes, I need to do my hair and makeup,” he squeezed me tightly before getting out of bed.


“There’s no one else here but us for thousands of lightyears. Just clean up and get changed into your loungewear.”


“But I’ll look a tramp,” I sulked back to him.


“Then I’ll look like a tramp with you, so stop moaning and I’ll meet you downstairs in a bit.”


Once I was cleaned up I headed to the observation deck as requested as I walked in I could see Jammy had set up a table and chairs by the large window. As I got closer I could see that he had set up breakfast for us here. The view was spectacular, the calm ocean was sapphire blue and the white fluffy clouds looked like candy floss far above us. As we ate neither of us spoke as the view was mesmerising. Once I had swallowed the last bite of my croissant he finally spoke.


“Pretty eh?”


“It’s beautiful, I’ve never seen anything quite like this. Not even when I was growing up on Mars.”


“I’m glad you approve, let's get into one of the fighters. I have a surprise for you.” He took my hand and led me to the hanger where I had the Taipans docked, I nestled my head against him as we launched the fighter out of the ship. He flew incredibly well despite being squashed by me on top of him, we skimmed the water and watched the calm sea move in rhythm to our breathing. As we sat mere inches from the top of the water I saw a huge blast of water burst from the sea a few meters away, it was followed by a marine animal coming to surface. I gasped in surprise and giggled as I saw more marine animals come to the surface.


“Jammy this is incredible, how did you find them?”


“I saw the pod of whales on the scanners last night and knew they’d be by us by morning. Have you ever seen whales like these before?”


“I haven’t no, there haven't been whales on Earth for almost a thousand years. I never thought I’d see something so beautiful in my lifetime.”


“Well now you have, we'll stay a little longer before heading back." For several miles we followed the pod of whales and watched as they swam lazily in the calm sea.


Once aboard the ship we went back to the observation deck to watch from above, we lay together on a futon wrapped up in a blanket.


“Would you say that you’re happy?”


“I would yes, is something the matter?” He kissed my head and whispered to me.


“We need to talk…”


*****************


It had been a few months since I had entered Gende, I had worked my way up to a vulture and was happy flying around in the rings. Bounty hunting paid well but here I lived in a dingy apartment for a very good reason, every spare credit was being spent on exacting my revenge on Johnny. I had found out that he was serving on his father’s ship and I would destroy everything he had, I would take everything away just as he did to me. The first part of my plan required a Corvette, now these aren’t handed out willy nilly; I would need the rank but because of my reputation no Federation office would allow my progression so I would have to buy my way up. And that is what I did, I found a system called Draconis 17; here I’d be buying my promotion grade by grade and after almost a billion credits I’d have it but where to get a billion credits?


I gave my hand at pirating but it earned less than bounty hunting which was a disaster, even trading wasn’t worth it. At one of the docks I had landed someone told me of a place called Robigo, here you could earn a pretty penny providing you didn’t have a soul.


So to Robigo I went, here I’d be transporting slaves back to the bubble on behalf of the company that brought them. I felt guilty at first but I had my reasons; paycheck after paycheck my balance erupted with so much cash I had no idea what to do with it. I admit I spent a few million on women that only wanted one thing but they never loved me for me, just the life I could provide them. I won’t lie I lost my way for a few months but I eventually got my senses back, took my girlfriend robbing me off 100 million credits but I got on the right track in the end.


At Draconis 17 I brought my way up to Rear Admiral, the men here didn’t care who I was. I had used my nickname just in case as a precaution but the next part of my plan would involve me procuring a Corvette. With my cash reserves dwindling I would have to buy a stolen one, but there was one catch as there always is…


********************


“So a Corvette eh son?” The ugly figure in front of me spoke with a gruff voice, his eyes were concentrating on the stripper dancing on the pole next to us. As she gyrated on the pole he was transfixed for a moment until I coughed loudly and began to speak.


“Yes sir, that’s what I’m after and I hear that you know how to procure one.”


“Well, it’s not that easy.”


“Define not that easy?”


“You pay me and I tell you where she is. I’ll give you the equipment needed to scrub the system so it doesn’t come up as stolen and a ship to take her down with.”


“So you want me to do all the hard work?”


“No the hard work is finding a ship to your specifications for less than 300 million credits. There is another catch of course son.”


“As always, so what is it?”


“The ship is occupied and full to the brim, so you’ll have to do something about those on onboard. I suggest hitting the life support and suffocating everyone on board, then purge the ship and empty out the corpses. There’s a really good clean up crew based in Lft 65, usually deal with the local miners but for a little extra they’ll have her clean.” I looked at him with disgust and was ready to leave before he grabbed my arm.


“Do you mind? I’m not going to purge a ship okay?”


“Up to you then, keep running those Robigo jobs for another few months.” I sat back down and handed him the briefcase of credits I had with me, he smiled at me and handed me an envelope. It had a little weight to it so I took it and left him to his fun.


Back at my apartment I cut open the top and poured the contents onto the table, inside were a set of keys and a piece of paper with some instructions:


1- The keys are to a FAS kitted out for the job, silent running hull tank. She’s located bay 7 of this station.
2- Try not to blow up as she’s not insured and has no escape pod for you.
3- The Corvette in question is currently in Sol and will be doing a patrol of the outer rim systems starting tomorrow at 0300 UTC, a few of which are anarchy where no one will hear her scream.
4- The equipment to switch the system as a civilian class Corvette is in the back of the FAS. Open his escape pod and let him do his thing, once he’s finished he’ll take the FAS and you go on your merry way.


The next day…


I had followed the Corvette as it was heading to a station for fuel, I passed a warning shot across the bow whilst it was still outside the no fire zone, the Captain began hailing me asking what was going on. I ignored him and began firing everything I had, they fired back blindly as I was running too cold for their sensors to pick up. She began to fire wildly and every now and again she’d hit me with the turrets whenever I got too hot, another sink dropped and another and another. Eventually, the ship’s shields dropped and I went straight for the thrusters to get her immobile, I wouldn’t needlessly kill them all. As she stopped dead in front of me I hailed her.


“Your ship or the lives of your men Captain, I suggest the former. Abandon your ship and I’ll make sure the station collect up your pods.” I waited a few minutes to wait for his answer, he rebooted and repaired his ship and began to depart the station for a jump. I dropped his thrusters for the second time and sent another message.


“Last chance, don’t test my patience Captain.” As his thrusters roared back to life I took them out for the last time and aimed for his life support, as it went down I waited a few minutes for the eventual escape pods to come teeming out. I called the station to collect them but persuaded rescue one to drop them off to a Federation system away from here. I parked the FAS side by side to the Corvette and headed to the back of the ship to find the guy who would clean the systems for me. He flopped to the floor when I opened the pod and helped him stand up.


“Hello, can you hear me?” He looked at me blankly and pointed to his mouth and stuck out what was left of his tongue. “Ah, never mind then.” He turned to the pod and took out a small laptop, I followed him to the docking bay and he climbed into one of the EVA suits in the locker, he handed me one and I put it on too.


We opened the doors and headed to the Corvette's bay doors, there he entered a passcode in the pad and it opened. I followed him to the bridge where I was met with a grisly sight, the Captain and a few of his crew were still sat in their seats motionless, he pushed the Captain onto the floor and sat in the seat. He plugged the laptop into the ship’s computer and lines of code came onto the HUD. I watched as he typed furiously on the laptop, after a few minutes the ship came back to life. He carried on typing and then the ship’s computer was barking down the comms.


“Purge commencing in 60 seconds, please ensure you are in your EVA suit and fastened safely in your chair.” I scrambled into the co-pilots’ chair and put the belt on, after only a few seconds there was a whoosh as the ship opened up. The Captain’s body flew past us and into the back, the mute flew the ship around the station and on the scanners I could see small blips. They were the bodies of the people left on this ship, he returned us back to where the FAS was and he unplugged the laptop. All systems were green and rebooted but the thrusters and life support needed immediate attention, the mute shook my hand and took off his helmet as he walked off. I waited till the FAS had jumped out before I headed into the station for repairs, whilst the engineers were doing their thing I headed into one of the bathrooms to throw up.


I felt completely sick inside and was wondering if this was really worth it.


***********************


Is revenge really worth it? Maybe, but not so much if it means that innocent people get caught in the middle; sometimes revenge blinds you to the point where you will do anything to get what you need. Would I kill others for Jammy? I can’t answer that question truthfully, at least not yet. I know he would for me, he wouldn’t even think twice about it. Does that make me a bad person? Does it mean that he loves me more than I do him? I’d hurt others sure, but kill? I’m not sure on that one, yet…

 

[missmartian]

Thargoids – The beginning.

Remember when Jammy and I joined DJ to check out the wrecked ship outside of the bubble and I fell asleep and dreamt the end was nigh? Well it never did, I may have hid it from everyone but that day I was scared to the core and I was right to. Not long after ships were being hyperdicted and some were infected causing them to glitch out of normal space and vanish. Most of us who had infected ships got them cleansed either by professionals or just self-destructed and claimed on the insurance; they were classed as kill on sight on all but some didn’t get their ships cleaned. Some used the vanishing exploit to stop themselves from being destroyed, this act is condemned by the majority of pilots so anyone who dares to use it is ostracised.


Spring is now very much over and the game of power for our bubble is very much alive and kicking. I’ve been assisting the Sovereignty with several other groups against the Sirius Corporation, after Salomé’s death they were implicated in hiding the truth from all of us. The main powers still fight and bicker, it’s almost like a distraction; pulling our attention in one direction whilst the galaxy falls apart outside. At first it was downed ships of the Thargoids but now it’s bases; hundreds and hundreds of bases a stone’s throw from the bubble. I went to see one of them with Jammy and it was nothing like I could ever imagine, the scientists have found maps and different types of artifacts inside them. It’s clear to say that these bases are old, very old and very much unmanned. But one question remains if they’re not here then where are they? Why build bases in our world when they’re supposed to live in Witchspace? By entering the bases are we telling them that we have finally evolved to where we can solve their puzzles? But if that is the case, then are we now a threat to them?


**********************


I sat alone in a booth at the pub in Onnes, everyone else was out bounty hunting and I fancied a day to myself to do what I wanted. Funnily enough, the guys aren’t keen on going shopping or sitting in a spa so I was looking forward to a day where I could relax, for once. But a quiet and peaceful life isn’t possible in this galaxy and especially not a pilot hunters’ life. I heard the shouting before Jammy and his friends bundled through the door and charged up to where I am.


“Have you seen the news? We need to leave right now,” Jammy yelled at me whilst tugging at my arm.


“It’s too late Jammy, just look at the TV,” someone called out, all eyes turned to the huge flat screen that now had the news playing, we all huddled around to get a closer look. What I saw shook me to the core.


It was a live feed from a Corvette and several other ships; they were in normal space following a Thargoid ship. The Thargoid ship turned to face them and applied the EMP that usually knocks out our ships for a few moments but this didn’t happen, from the feed it was hard to see what they deployed but it must have been some sort of countermeasure. The next thing we saw were a volley of missiles flying towards to the Thargoid ship, a few seconds later and they hit it. The camera zoomed in and we could see visible damage on the Thargoid ship but something was wrong, very wrong. We watched in horror as the Thargoid ship was healing itself in a manner, the holes caused by the first volley of missiles were sealing up. Before we knew it the Thargoid vessel had a red hue to it, it fired towards the ships and then the feed cut out to static.

I could feel Jammy move closer from behind me and put his arms around me.


“We’ll be okay, I promise;” he whispered to me. I felt safe if just for a second but I knew it wouldn’t last; eventually, the screen faded black and switched to a news reporter. She looked incredibly distressed and started screaming before the signal was lost. One by one everyone returned to their seats and the pub became deathly quiet.


“Where did that take place?” I asked Jammy as he held me tightly.


“Somewhere in the Pleiades nebula, I don’t which system exactly.”


“But that’s just outside the bubble, it’s really happening isn’t it?”


“I.. I….” I had never seen him speechless before, no jokes, no teasing. Nothing.


“Jammy, please talk to me? What’s our plan?”


“I need time to think, I need to figure out a plan with our friends and come up with a plan to survive this. We’ll figure out what PalCon and The Sovereignty want to do and go from there, the best thing we can do is keep the peace.”


“Those ships were torn apart, how are we supposed to survive that?”


“We don’t know what specifications our ships were, they might not have even been engineered. Besides those pilots had no clue in what they were doing. No pip management, they hesitated after firing the first volley and they their evasive maneuvers were poor.”


“I need to go home.”


“Okay we’ll go there now.”


“No, not that home. My home, where my family are on Mars, I need to make sure that they are okay.”


“Okay, we’ll get ready;” I followed him out of the pub and to the docks where my FDL was located, the docks themselves were crowded. Families were looking for a way off the station and passenger ships were being crammed full. As I got to my FDL I stopped at the hatch.


“Why are you stopping?” Jammy asked me.


“You’re not coming with me.”


“What? Why?” He tried barging past me but I stood fast, “no I’m not losing you. Not again.”


“You’re not going to lose me, I promise.” I took his hand and pressed it against my face, “I give you my word I’m coming back to you.” He hugged me before letting go.


“Please don’t do this, not now.” He took my hands tightly and held them.


“I won’t be more than a few hours, I bff pinky padlock promise you.” I could see his inner voices arguing on whether or not to let me go, after holding my hands tight for a few minutes he finally made up his mind and let go.


“If anything or anyone pulls you, I want you to drop heat sinks like they’re going out of fashion and run like hell okay?”


“Okay”, I kissed him goodbye before closing the hatch.


*****************************


I hadn’t seen my family in years and I wasn’t sure if they were still alive or what I would say to them either. As I entered the Sol system the place was full of military ships; I headed to the planet I once lived on and requested access to land on the planet.


“Commander Miss Martian requesting access to land, sending my credentials over now.”


“Good afternoon ma’am, credentials have been received and landing denied. What is the nature of your visit?”


“As you can see via the information I have just sent you I am a citizen of Mars, I wish to return home and see my family.”


“Understood but the planet is under Federation protection and no one may leave or arrive on either Earth or Mars at present.”


“I need to know if my family is safe or not, can you at least tell me if that?”


“Give me a few seconds please….. Ma’am your family are no longer logged as residents on Mars, they are now residents of Earth.”


“I wish to speak to my mother.”


“I’m afraid that is not possible, the two planets are on lockdown.”


“Are they safe?”


“They are under the protection of the Federation.”


“That’s not answering my question.”


“Give me a moment and I’ll check their records,” I could feel my heart racing as I waited for a reply on the comms system, “they’re registered as living in a small village in the UK.”


“Is there no way I can see my family?”


“I’m afraid not, both planets are on lockdown. I am able to pass a message across if you wish?” Something was better than nothing so I sent my message across and high waked out of the system.


********************


We all saw that video and we all know what’s coming… We’re going to lose everything unless we all come as one but the chances of that are slim to none. I don’t trust non pilot hunters and they don’t trust me; without mutual trust we have zero chance of defeating humanity’s biggest foe. A long time ago there was a line drawn in the sand; pilot hunters on one side and every else on the other side. The pilot hunters believe that everyone else deserve to have their rear handed to them by the Thargoids for being so blind to the dangers of the galaxy and their failure to prepare. I understand where they are coming from; I with many others have tried to help countless groups but all thought they were better off on their own. We all know how that turned out… I guess we need to get rid of the line that divides, after all we can go back to killing each other after.

 

[missmartian]

Rewrite of "The End" (my submission for Elite Dangerous Novella Contest)

The End…

Bin tere mere is jivan mein kuchh bhi nahin (without you there is nothing at all in my life)

So here I was, right at the top of the bubble on an exploration trip with Jammy. Only this time there was a problem, we were exploring the Cancri Climb and at the last neutron jump we super charged to skip a few systems on the way back “down”. Sadly we were hyperdicted and accidently jumped “up” instead of heading back “down”. We were a little under 210ly from the neutron we had jumped from and we were stuck a neutron star magically appeared…

********************

I sat on the observation deck of Jammy’s anaconda pouring over star charts; I didn’t hear him come in.

“Hey, I’ve brought you something to eat, are you okay?” He came to stand beside me and moved a few maps away to put a tray of sandwiches on the table. He had been so calm since we figured out what happened and it bothered me immensely, he should either help or get out of my way.

“I’m fine,” I lied to him; he’d know I was lying but how could I be okay right now?

“After doing an inventory check, we have enough supplies for 8 months, so relax okay,”

Now he’d done it.

“Relax? How can I relax? We are stranded here with no one able to help us because they’d be stuck here too, we’re going to die here and you want me to relax?” I picked up the tray and tossed it to the floor, as it smashed I left him there; I needed to get out of here, to get away from him. I had spent the past week exploring each of the systems in this remote cluster, it was the only thing keeping me sane but there was nothing here, just dead planets. I headed to the SRV bay to try and find more FSD boosts, something, anything. I refused to give up, to give up meant I had accepted my fate and I can’t do that, not now, not ever. I had fought for everything: my home, my family and my future, I wasn’t going to roll over and die now.

**********************************************************

A few weeks later…

I lay on the bed a little drunk waiting for Jammy to come back to bed, as he walked in he started laughing at the sight he saw. I had attempted to look sexy but had failed miserably.

“What’s this?” He asked smiling coyly as he sat next to me.

“Let’s make a baby, right here, right now.” He laughed again and pulled the cover over me.

“You hate kids and you’re drunk.” I pulled off the cover and started tugging at his shirt, he took my hands and held them gently.

“I’m not hearing a no,” as I tried to kiss him he pushed me back on the bed and covered me once again.

“Then no, I know why you’re behaving this way. I get it okay, you think you’re going to die here and miss your entire life but I promise you it won’t end here.”

“Oh whatever, you and I, we’ll make super cute babies.” He batted me away with the pillow, I just felt so drained.

“Yes I know that but again, you don’t like kids. I promise you we’ll get out of this pickle so get some sleep and –“ he put his arm around me and hugged me, “I hate it when you cry. So don’t okay?”

“It’s hard not to, all those endless possibilities, all those different futures. I might have stayed on Mars with my family, who knows I could have met a decent guy and had a happy life there.”

“And you would have hated yourself for it, I won’t say your life has been the easiest this past year or so but look how much you’ve grown. And I know full well we don’t die here.”

“After everything that has happened how can you be so sure?”

“Because of one person, Niatra, he sees you as his big sister and he will never give up on you.”

“It could take him years, even decades to find us.”

“You think he would care? He’d search for you till his lungs gave out and he’ll find us, I know he will. The last transmission was sent a few jumps from here , just before the communication array was destroyed. He knew roughly where we were headed and there’s not a huge amount of systems up here.”

“I’ve done the maths, the only way they’d be able to get here and back is to strip the ship completely. I’d do it for us but I don’t have to tools or equipment to do so and they’d have to know prior to coming here.”

“How much would you need to reduce the weight by?”

“I don’t have the numbers on me right now. But it’s a lot, even after getting the best rolls from the engineers they might be able to reach 70ly but the 400 tonnes of the actual hull needs to be reduced. Only way to do that is to start removing walls and floors but then you need to reinforce the ship for witch space to stop the ship from collapsing on itself, some kind of carbon fibre nano tubing would work as a lattice inside but that stuff is damn expensive. As long as they got the range above 110ly then they can use jumponium to make the jumps home but even those materials are so damn rare.”

“Hmmm, so he’d have to put the ship on a strict diet?” He joked, I smiled but only because it was a bad joke.

“Even if they started building this right now they wouldn’t get here for a year at least and that’s working flat out. Realistically a year or two, yeah they know our rough route but the idea of coming out this far is insane. They know we’re not completely stupid.”

“What a wicked thing to say, of course they know we’re stupid enough to do something insane.” He kissed me softly on my forehead, “get some sleep and I’ll check on you in the morning.”

**************************************************************

A few weeks later…

“Martian, we are leaving!” I could hear Jammy yelling for me from some way down the hall, I stuck my head out of the library to see what the commotion was about, I saw him running towards me zipping his EVA whilst carrying another in his arms. As he reached the door he thrust the suit in my arms and yelled at me to put it on, “hurry up girl, we have to get out of here right now!” He zipped up the front of mine and led me to the SRV bay, he bundled me inside the last remaining SRV we had left and clamoured in behind. Within minutes we were hurtling away from the ship before I saw it. Hundreds of meteors fell from the sky with such beauty I couldn’t help but stare, he drove us up into the hills where there were deep caves going miles under the surface.

“What about the ship? We can’t leave her!”

“We have no choice, by the time we were airborne we’d be pelted with meteors and forced back to the ground.”

“But this can’t be happening; the chances are so damn slim.”

“In the core yes, but not here at the top of the galaxy; here we’re exposed and barely part of the Milky Way.” We stayed up here till the thundering stopped; it felt like weeks but we had been here a few days at most. I don’t really remember sleeping; just sitting in the cave listening to the booms of the storm outside. Eventually the barrage stopped and Jammy headed out in the SRV to assess the landscape.

“Good news the storm has stopped, bad news the ship looks a mess. The bridge is flattened but she didn’t explode, which is something I guess. We should head back and grab whatever supplies we can.”

*****************

Most of the ship was inaccessible from the meteor storm, there were only a few days’ worth of supplies but a days’ worth of air. The plan was to go into hibernation in the escape pods and wait. I sat crying by the pod with nothing before me but death and despair.

“Please Jammy, I can’t do this, please don’t make me.”

“You trust me right?” The smile he gave me, the one that said that everything would be fine but not now. Not today, he sat there staring at the computer making sure the pods were ready for us.

“Yes but I can’t do this, please don’t make me. I can’t go in the pod knowing it might be the last time I see you again; I need you in my life. I don’t want to close my eyes and for one day open them without you there in my life, there are so many things left unsaid and dammit please don’t leave me?” I couldn’t see him from the tears that blurred my vision; I blindly groped for him but he grabbed me and pushed me inside the pod.

“Jammy no, please stop, please don’t do this.” I screamed at him as loud as I could, as the door slid shut I hit it as hard as I could, I clawed at it and screamed out harder. “Jammy please don’t leave me, don’t do this, please I need you.” The pod opened and I took a deep breath of air as I kept crying.


“This is the only option we have other than to die here,” he explained to me, “stop crying and tell me what you want.”

“Get in here with me please, don’t leave me” I pleaded to him, I pulled at his shirt and urged him inside the pod.

“These pods can support one person pretty much forever; they put you into stasis where you’ll have a dreamless sleep. With two however, I don’t know how long it can keep us alive for. In separate pods we’ll survive and one day be rescued. Don’t risk your life just for me.”

“You’re an idiot Jammy, you’re my everything and my life cannot exist without you. I’d rather die with you than live my life without you. You know how I feel, you know I need you more than life itself.”

“If I wasn’t rescued, I know full well you’d spend an entire lifetime looking for me.” He smiled gently and took my face in his hands to kiss me on my cheek.

“I’d rather be blind then to see you walk away, so please? Spend this life crammed in an escape pod with me?” He pulled me out of the pod and ripped out the insulation that gave the inhabitant a snug fit, he got in first and pulled me in after him.

“Now close your eyes and I promise I’ll be there when you wake up from your slumber.” With my eyes closed I heard him hit a few buttons and put his arms around me, “I won’t let go, not now, not ever.”

************


So this is how it ends eh? In a pod at the edge of the galaxy, after everything I had been through I thought I’d get a happy ending, just like the ones in the fairy tales of old. I gave up everything for this guy both family and friends. Would I go through it knowing this is how it ends? Damn right I would, I’d make the same choices, the same mistakes knowing that I ended up here with him.

You are the light that shines my way in the darkness; you are the sun that warms up my life and the shield that protects me.