The Noob Expanse vs Thargoids

Thargoid Minion: Leader, our course is set for the target systems.

Thargoid Leader: They. Will. Burn. By my command.

Thargoid Minion: Weapons ready. Witchspace Drive ready. Flame-throwers ready.

Thargoid Leader: Engage Witchspace Dri-

Thargoid Minion 2: Waiiiittttttt!!!! Leader, we can't attack those systems!

Thargoid Leader: Why the frack not?

Thargoid Minion 2: Because those systems are in......The Noob Expanse.

Thargoid Leader: And I should care because?

Thargoid Minion 2: New players are active within those systems. Fresh commanders, making their first baby steps into a galaxy full of wonders, terrors and FDLs with additional optional slots.. What those Commanders lack in credits, they make up for in enthusiasm.

Thargoid Leader: .......And?

Thargoid Minion 2: The Noob Expanse.is a safe realm, free of dangers, full of learning potential. Once commanders have shown potential to blaze their own trail, they leave The Noob Expanse, ready to face a galaxy offering credits, adventure.....and FDLs. It would be unfair if those Commanders were to face a Thargoid vessel so early in their adventures.

Thargoid Leader: So, what you're saying, is that there are inexperienced human commanders who don't know the difference between a FSS and a DSS, flying around in Sidewinders, not carrying AX weaponary loadouts, not knowing how to swiitch from one firegroup to another, and they're all located in one area of space, serviced by stations galore?

Thargoid Minion 2: Um, yes Leader.

Thargoid Leader: OK. Let me think about this.

Pause.

Thargoid Leader: Engage Witchspace Drive! BURN EVERYTHING! MUHAHAHAHHAAAA!
 
Plot twist: invincible bubble shields around Noobspace systems which can only be exited but not entered.

"I was born in Noobspace, but blast me if I'll die there!"
 
I suppose the radiation of the stars in those systems has a bad effect on Thargoid tech...

Perhaps there will be just outposts, which means it is not as interesting to attack. Starting players would only need access to small pads anyway.

When has the last outpost been built? It seems they have figured out how to mass produce large space stations in recent years. Station part depots would be fun new locations as well.
 
proves the point the whole so called thargoid invasion is nothing else but a ploy of the superpowers to bring the pilots federation to their heels by bleeding them dry with mass-produced combat drones and "attacks" on starports that suddenly start to burn by themselves without anyone ever seeing a so called thargoid interceptor near them and I blame canonn and tj...

Now excuse me, I have to get my alu hat back...
 
Back
Top Bottom