I have now snorted tea into my nose laughing at this, and you owe me a new keyboard.
apologies........ You would love my ship computer... when I say :
Me: Are we under attack?
The computer extends the guns of the ship and then one of the possible responses is :
Computer : " Affirmative commander. Hard points extended. I have calculated you will not win this battle. Survival protocol one. Please wait while ships AI is downloaded into black box and jettisoned "
(possible via Voice Attack Software )