To venture out with no compass !

To venture out with no compass !
As a lone Cephalopod, I have tested my Asp for comfort, by taking a couple of short trips out away from the troubled human squaller. This I have found to be most peaceful, and quiet, with not one single creature to be encountered.
My small ship has basic components, with a range of 35Ly. I have not figured out the Engineering side to the game and question as to it’s requirement for an amble around the disk. Having just one eye, I recon if I keep that dark bit to the left, I should get round ok! I have some sand-wedges my mum made, and the condensation from under my seat ought to keep me refreshed on those hot spots on my Circum - ambulation of the dinner plate.

I do have a couple of questions that may be, or may not be relevant !

1; Will the spinning Galaxy make me giddy?

2: Is it quicker to go left or right?

3: Has any one seen my sock ?

4: Can I call a cab, if I get scared?

5: Is the Middle full of lost explorers?

6: When I get to the top, will it be faster down hill?

7: Do my dirty clothes smell in space, if not. Then I shan't wash.

8: Do I get air points when scooping?

9: If I get lost, will holding my wet finger out of the window help?

10: What is the best type of hat to take?

I look forward to some suitable and poignant advice, so I can venture round with a whistle and a skip in my stride.
 
1; Will the spinning Galaxy make me giddy?
Speed is relative, so don't look at other galaxies and you'll be fine

2: Is it quicker to go left or right?
Time is relative, so maybe jump only to low mass systems?

3: Has any one seen my sock ?
On your left shoulder

4: Can I call a cab, if I get scared?
If you call an escape pod a cab, sure.

5: Is the Middle full of lost explorers?
They're not lost, they just don't want to be found, much like me and you.

6: When I get to the top, will it be faster down hill?
Let me answer with a question: are the more roads going uphill or downhill where you live?

7: Do my dirty clothes smell in space, if not. Then I shan't wash.
What is "wash"?

8: Do I get air points when scooping?
...and a free VHS of "Lost in Space" (1969 version)

9: If I get lost, will holding my wet finger out of the window help?
If you take a dump in space, the front end always points towards earth. Human version of a Thargoid sensor, kinda.

10: What is the best type of hat to take?
When exploring I like to take the fuelrats dispatch hat, but that's me.
 
To venture out with no compass !
As a lone Cephalopod, I have tested my Asp for comfort, by taking a couple of short trips out away from the troubled human squaller.

tumblr_o1wlmkUfMp1ttmb14o6_1280.jpg
 
For six weeks of hard exploring you will know nothing but delight! By the seventh, the distant lights of oneness will approach - an unknown city!
 
1; Will the spinning Galaxy make me giddy?
Depends on your disposition.
2: Is it quicker to go left or right?
Yes.
3: Has any one seen my sock ?
No.
4: Can I call a cab, if I get scared?
Irrelevant, you should always be scared. Fearlessness breeds complacency, complacency equals death.
5: Is the Middle full of lost explorers?
Most likely.
6: When I get to the top, will it be faster down hill?
There is no down in space, so both are equal. Alternatively, the climb up/down to the neutron fields is far more arduous than the fields themselves, so probably no?
7: Do my dirty clothes smell in space, if not. Then I shan't wash.
If a tree falls in the woods...
8: Do I get air points when scooping?
Yes, but only with selected providers, and for a limited time only. Vouchers are non-refundable.
9: If I get lost, will holding my wet finger out of the window help?
It won't.
10: What is the best type of hat to take?
Hats are inadvisable in zero-g environments.
 
Your advise has been taken onboard and stowed in the Emergency Box ready for when things go bad.

I have concluded from your experience a compass is not required, for long space exploration. As it has a tendency to get upset. So I have been doing my research! The result is to take my Gold Fish instead. This I have deduced as being a more suitable direction finder, As my Fish has to date never got lost.

My first stage is to head South till it gets too dark. This I can do with confidence, knowing my Plumb Bob is faultless. And sure to point me in the right direction every time.
Once at the edge I shall employ a technique my grandmother taught me. Wash your Hands first.
This then allows me to either turn the map on its side, so I can still use the plum Bob, or ask the Gold Fish. The latter being the most probable one to give a sensible answer.
I have cleaned the mirrors, and vacuumed the carpets. The ship has also been painted with Non-skid. So I shall slip passed any planets that get too close. I have packed my umbrella, just incase it rains.

If I have forgotten anything please let me know soon, as this amble round the spiny thing is to start at seventeen minuets to 4, Wednesday afternoon.
 
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1; Will the spinning Galaxy make me giddy?

The galaxy does not, in fact, spin. It is a solid object. The stars are all held in place by blu-tac. Lots and lots of blu-tac.

2: Is it quicker to go left or right?

Going straight is quickest. Continuously going right or left will merely result in spinning about in a circle.

3: Has any one seen my sock ?

No. It has presumably gone to the Planet of Lost Socks, which is the next planet down the List of Treasure Planets to Hunt For, after they find Raxxla.

4: Can I call a cab, if I get scared?

Absolutely, you can call a cab. No cab will ever come for you, but that shouldn't stop you calling for one, if doing so makes you feel better.

5: Is the Middle full of lost explorers?

They are not lost. They are locationally challenged.

6: When I get to the top, will it be faster down hill?

A spaceship in orbit is forever falling downhill; the hill keeps dropping away so the spaceship keeps missing the ground. That doesn't really answer your question, but it seemed a relevant place to put this important reminder.

7: Do my dirty clothes smell in space, if not. Then I shan't wash.

That depends entirely on whether or not you have genetically engineered your clothes to give them noses. If you have, then yes, they can smell.

8: Do I get air points when scooping?

They're more like fire points than air points.

9: If I get lost, will holding my wet finger out of the window help?

Yes. Because if you do that, you'll let all the air out and you'll soon be dead, and dead people are no longer lost.

10: What is the best type of hat to take?

If you don't own a pith helmet, you can't really call yourself an explorer. Actually wearing it is inadvisable, because they look ridiculous, but owning one is mandatory.
 
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