Welcome to your weekly dose of interesting reads. I must admit, after reading what this week's topic was, "Experimental Modification", I was surprised at how well the stories turned out.
Last week's winner was Splendour, not unexpectantly seeing how good his story was.
Psykokow hosts the Abraka-Drabble live reading show and comedy hour at 7pm GMT, Fridays on...
HUTTON ORBITAL RADIO! http://streaming.radionomy.com/HuttonOrbitalRadio (audio only)
LAVE RADIO! http://laveradio.com/ (audio only)
TWITCH! http://www.twitch.tv/psykokow/ (audio & visual)
and will also be uploaded to his You-tube channel & anywhere else he can inflict the world with our drabblings!
Please vote. And a warning to all of the contestants don't vote for yourselves. Anyone caught voting for themselves will be used as human guinea pigs, they and may not be too happy about how they're modified for the experiments.
01 - Simoof - The Pundulum of love
Shaun had wanted to be an explorer. To discover things yet not imagined.
Maudy wanted Shaun to remain a short haul trader.
Shaun had grudgingly complied for decades.
Maudy was unaware of the lengths Shaun had gone to to live his dream without hurting her.
At Winnards Hole Shaun had met a chemist with a unique talent.
"So this chicken will lay a spicy-minty egg and once consumed she will have no memories?"
"Thats what you wanted. Its the man-go nando package."
Maudy was impressed. Breakfast in bed. Although it looked and tasted strange:
Eggs - Piri-Menthol. Maudy forgot Shaun.
02 - Futuristic Kung Fu - A break from work (2nd Drabble)
T.j had started on a big project, something he most definitely wouldn't regret: he would make a new mod that would require absolutely no work on after the start-up. It was going to have better Insult Detectors, improved Redundancy Removers, newer methods of tracking down threads that had to be closed, faster ways of deciding which threads would have to be merged... Once completed, T.j could be lazy, write Drabbles and get free rep all day, without having to worry about his modding duties. Yes, this experimental mod would definitely improve his life. It even had a name: Ian Phillips.
03 - T.j - In the endless void
In space no-one can hear you scream....
Thousands of light-years into deep space, and yet... there it was in the cockpit window edging inexorably towards my ship.
Fears icy grip embraced my spine.
The heavy reverberating clang against my airlock heralded their arrival.
As the handle turned the rending of bare metal echoed throughout the ships fragile hull, almost like talons dragging slowly around.
My scream must have travelled further than any had before, but still nobody would have heard it.
No human ears anyway.
Terror flooded my senses sending me into numbing total madness as the insectoidal chittering intensified.
04 - Frank - Hey Harlan! I still got my mouth
We have ascertained that the flesh units require the red fluid to circulate around the ganglia contained in the spherical case. We believe that this is the processing unit. We trimmed away the excess flesh and kept them functioning with a supply we synthesised of the red fluid. We also cut away the loose flesh that kept falling over their imaging sensors.
Their mouths contort as if trying to scream, which is now of course impossible.
Dave read the screen in horror "Sarah, you know how we allocated more processing power to that AI experiment? Well I think it's... dreaming."
05 - moose666 - Because i'm a... PUNk
"Are you ready?"
"Yep, throw it!"
An egg was thrown, followed by a *thwack* as it was sliced in half by the sword.
"Another clean cut."
The captain came in, and surveyed the scene with a look of bemusement.
"Are those the rejects from kow's poaching attempts?"
"They are"
He threw another egg, it reached the far end of the observation deck in halves.
"And what are you doing with them?"
"Parry practice!"
Another egg thrown, again cut in half mid-air. Suddenly, the ship's tannoy boomed : "GODLIKE!"
The captain cracked a cheesy grin, and said : "Eggs? parry mental! no, deification!"
06 - FelixBast - Experimetal
Mack stared at the giant block and frowned.
He had hoped to use this meta-alloy for hull reinforcement. The strange alien metal was strong enough, but was proving impossible to work with.
His laser cutter would not cut it and the industrial forge could not get hot enough to melt it.
He had even tried passing several gigawatt’s of electricity through it. The bright arc of light had left him blind for several minutes.
Now, returning to the tool rack, he searched for something else to try.
Behind him the block softened and a metallic tentacle reached towards his back.
07 - Erik Marcaigh - The Sum of the Puns
"Doctor, what did the engineers build? It looks like a giant food processor!"
"In a manner of speaking, yes. Go fetch Simoof, Frank, moose666, Futuristic Kung Fu, and the others who have disgraced the use of puns and lead them up to that catwalk."
Moments later, the offending drabblers stood above the machine, looking about in bewilderment. The doctor pushed a button and the catwalk gave way, dropping the lot into the machine.
Gears ground, blades blended, and mashers mashed. Hours later, a creature stepped forth.
"It's done! The Word Processor has created the greatest drabbler! I name it... T.j!!!"
08 - Alien - This drabble is pun-derful ... no seriously, it is punny ... OK, it is pun of the worst
Grant's two kittens, Storm and Zen were discussing their existence one Friday night as Grant read out some drabbles.
"Where did I come from?" asked Zen
Storm explained "I don't know about you, but I used to be a fruit!"
"No" Zen didn't believe it.
"Yep, our human, who feeds us, he's a mad scientist who is friends with an alien and a shouty man. Some say he used to be a cow!"
"I refuse to believe he's a psycho."
"I'm afraid it's true. I'm an ex-pear, he's mental".
"Moggy cat fiction." Zen insisted.
And that's why we killed Simoof
09 - Edith_The_Hutt - The Trial of Simoof
We should not punish poor results, for without experimentation one can never change, never grow, never improve upon the status quo. If we punish mistakes then we discourage invention, growth, improvement; we set ourselves on the path of mediocrity.
Was my brother's unauthorized replacement of Starship One's nav computer with a ZX81 Spectrum a mistake? Yes! Did it lead to the disappearance and probable death of President Halsey, three senators and over four hundred crew? Most Assuredly! But it also lead to new discoveries, new innovations and perhaps a way to defeat the Thargoids. Is that truly worthy of punishment?
10 - Listeri69 - Smuggling It In........
'step through here please sir'
(BEEP)
'im going to have to ask you to remove all your clothes'
'Don't you know who i am? I'm Rex Bottoms'
'Yes well im finn gerrin, and thats a hell of a funny walk you have...'
'I was smuggling out these documents, it's hard work one of the other prisoners went mad, he was trying to eat his own head'
'Oh I ate my own head during a blackout once...'
'Anyway I had to ask him to shove it somewhere the feds wouldn't look'
'I can see that it was an unexpected Rear assault'
11 - Splendour - The Pun Ship
"What's the worst that could happen?"
Clinging grimly to the controls, smoke billowing around the cockpit, Frank cursed himself for not fleeing when Kow proclaimed those fatal words. How had he let those blithering idiots talk him into attempting to integrate Simoof's automatic pun generator with his unreliable ship speech recognition system? What had he been drinking?
"Ship, launch distress beacon!" he desperately spluttered
The autochef chimed and fired a cheese sandwich at him, and his HUD was replaced with a holo of priest undressing.
“Make it stop!”
The priest was replaced by a hunk gripping a strategically placed truncheon.
12 - psykokow - The Edge
Doctor Ted told them it was a new vitamin combo — supposed to give them more of an edge.
But instead, they were soft, fluffy and too busy touching each other to notice the Doctor’s expression.
Tommy and Docstone fumbled over each other, Docstone braiding Tommy's hair while Tommy stroked Docstone's hairy thighs slowly.
Ted frowned, furiously typing into his digislate, and mumbling under his breath. Docstone and Tommy stopped to look at Ted, giggling and waving.
"Pupils Blown" Ted dictated.
Simoof sat in the corner, smiling widely. "You're amazing," he whispered in awe. "So freaking amazing..."
The hangover was horrific.
13 - Ventura_ - CMDR Ventura_ The Man?
Removing the wreckage slowly lay a face Matt recognised, but didn’t know where from.
Finding he was breathing ok, he started to remove the strangers Remlock. Noises at the door of the ship and shouting “COMMANDER, COMMANDER”.
Opening the door, stood three people in Medical uniforms, they were part of the Galactic Health Service “Commander anyone hurt” they asked, he pointed to the strange man lying on the floor. Surrounding him they checked that he was ok. An experimental modification module was being fitted to the ship next to him, was displayed on what was left of his ships canopy.
14 - Galactic Midden - Something fishy in the state of Dummark
"Must I wear this Marco?", the muffled voice sounded out from behind the curtain.
Marco gazed around the extravagant Grand Imperial Minstrel Parlor where they waited to entertain the Emperor, he carefully avoided swallowing the feathers in his headdress.
"Remember who waits for us Herberbererant, she demands embellishments so we tries 'em!"
"Well I get that Marcochoscoio, I ain't no Chango Docker though I sure smell like one!"
Pulling back the curtain Herberbererant wrinkled his nose, "I just don't get why I'm wearing this piece of fish".
"What's wrong Herb?"
Looking down Herb replied, "well for one thing, it stinks!"
15 - MrMogadon - A Life Inconsequential - FTL Pioneers Appendix G
Fortesque Thruck, sat at his desk, wearing a baseball cap and moleskin thong, muttering. “Nearly there.”
Finally closing the housing on his minituarised Alcubierre FTL drive, his work finally complete.
“Behold!”, he cried, holding up what appeared to be, and indeed was, a modified McCutcheon Racing helmet, now with supplementary brass dorsal fin and control cable leading to a chest belt, upon which his drive now hung.
Donning his equipment, he planned a simple jump to his home, 10,000 km away.
Unfortunately, a miscalculation meant he was vapourised instead.
A nearby cat paused, blinked, then returned to licking its genitals.
16 - insanephoton - What happened to the blue furry felines?
Many of you wonder about what happened to all the intelligent feline species you hear about in the ancient stories. Some dismiss them as old spacer tales. Others say that humans wiped m out. The truth is that they all moved to sanctuaries in the Reement systems. After centuries of isolation they were desperate for human contact. The Ex Pierre Corporation won the contract to help reintergrate them back into the galactic community by allowing selected people to visit them. Call now to arrange the holiday of a lifetime and take one of our Ex Pierre Reement All Moggy Vacations.
Last edited:
