As everyone knows, playing too many videogames can often cause a person to lose their grasp on reality, but how do you know if you are playing Elite, or Real Life? Here are a few situations that, when true, are excellent indicators that you are in fact still playing Elite. Feel free to add more, so that the discerning gamer may better distinguish between Elite and Real Life.
You Might Be Playing Elite If...
You are at work and see three cars trying to leave the car park at once. They get jammed in the gate and, after precisely 30 seconds, the parking warden shows up with a bazooka.
The car park has only one entrance, which is also its exit. Every car park you have been to is exactly like this.
No matter what route you take to work, you always arrive behind, above, and slightly to the left of the office. Some of your coworkers tell tall tails of occasionally arriving in front of the office, but they're probably still slightly concussed after that incident with the parking warden.
While cruising down the motorway, the Police frequently open fire with harpoons attached to bungie cords in an attempt to make you pull over, to make sure you aren't doing something illegal. They prefer to do this when its raining and foggy, there's several sharp bends in the road and you are dangerously close to a stellar heat source.
While out hiking in the wilderness, you frequently see a lone cyclist in the distance who circles you day after day. Sometimes the cyclist falls off a cliff, but another one will always appear, like clock work. The cyclist's preferred means of communication involved harpoons and bungie cords, and they are always angry that you are not, in fact, a heavy goods vehicle.
Sometimes, your watch sets the time to 42 thousand years in the future.
Occasionally, items at the grocery store cost 4 billion units of your national currency. You notice that often when this is the case, the store clerk becomes catatonic, and someone nicks the wheels, battery, engine and stereo from your car.
The Police will drag you out of your vehicle, throw you to the ground and shoot you in the face over a parking fine, all the while ignoring the cackling maniac down the road who is tossing grenades into his neighbour's house.
You purchase your insurance after you total your car.
You Might Be Playing Elite If...
You are at work and see three cars trying to leave the car park at once. They get jammed in the gate and, after precisely 30 seconds, the parking warden shows up with a bazooka.
The car park has only one entrance, which is also its exit. Every car park you have been to is exactly like this.
No matter what route you take to work, you always arrive behind, above, and slightly to the left of the office. Some of your coworkers tell tall tails of occasionally arriving in front of the office, but they're probably still slightly concussed after that incident with the parking warden.
While cruising down the motorway, the Police frequently open fire with harpoons attached to bungie cords in an attempt to make you pull over, to make sure you aren't doing something illegal. They prefer to do this when its raining and foggy, there's several sharp bends in the road and you are dangerously close to a stellar heat source.
While out hiking in the wilderness, you frequently see a lone cyclist in the distance who circles you day after day. Sometimes the cyclist falls off a cliff, but another one will always appear, like clock work. The cyclist's preferred means of communication involved harpoons and bungie cords, and they are always angry that you are not, in fact, a heavy goods vehicle.
Sometimes, your watch sets the time to 42 thousand years in the future.
Occasionally, items at the grocery store cost 4 billion units of your national currency. You notice that often when this is the case, the store clerk becomes catatonic, and someone nicks the wheels, battery, engine and stereo from your car.
The Police will drag you out of your vehicle, throw you to the ground and shoot you in the face over a parking fine, all the while ignoring the cackling maniac down the road who is tossing grenades into his neighbour's house.
You purchase your insurance after you total your car.
