Zoo Jokes and Funny Stories

FlameWizard492

FlameWizard492
I figured that some of us are in need of a good laugh, so does anyone know any good jokes involving zoos or animals in general? If not, then does anyone have any funny memories or stories involving zoos or animals?

PLEASE keep it appropriate for the forum. No dirty jokes please. I think that goes without saying.
 

Orkan

Orkan
I was at the Capron Zoo in Massachusetts a pretty long time ago now when I was younger and they have a lemur island which is an actual island, and as I was walking across the bridge we stopped to look at them and I dropped my water bottle into the water.

Luckily it floated and my friend was able to climb down onto a pile on for the bridge and fish it out with a stick. Suffice to say I got a new one the next day.
 

jcp011c

jcp011c
Quite a few years back, our local zoo has an island habitat that has the gibbons and Siamangs They can get pretty loud and they really were that day. So were the kids that were on some kind of field trip or tour, several of them started hooting and hollering back at them. It went on for a few minutes getting more and more loud, until one of the gibbons came down from the tree. You would have thought the gibbon had jumped out of the habitat instead of just getting onto the ground. The kids got scared and stopped immediately, jumping back. The adults with the group (who had been trying to get the kids to stop) looked relieved and like they were about to bust out laughing.
 

Orkan

Orkan
jcp011c said:
Quite a few years back, our local zoo has an island habitat that has the gibbons and Siamangs They can get pretty loud and they really were that day. So were the kids that were on some kind of field trip or tour, several of them started hooting and hollering back at them. It went on for a few minutes getting more and more loud, until one of the gibbons came down from the tree. You would have thought the gibbon had jumped out of the habitat instead of just getting onto the ground. The kids got scared and stopped immediately, jumping back. The adults with the group (who had been trying to get the kids to stop) looked relieved and like they were about to bust out laughing.
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This reminds me. At the Franklin Park Zoo this April, there was a school group that kept laughing at the Somali Wild Ass sign, for obvious reasons. One was literrally on the ground laughing so much. Thankfully the guide took them to a different exhibit. They were very noisy though.
 

jcp011c

jcp011c
Orkan said:
This reminds me. At the Franklin Park Zoo this April, there was a school group that kept laughing at the Somali Wild Ass sign, for obvious reasons. One was literrally on the ground laughing so much. Thankfully the guide took them to a different exhibit. They were very noisy though.
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To be fair....I've gotten a chuckle out of it too. It's official! We can name zoos after it (which I have). I honestly though they'd modify the name somehow.
 

NZFanatic

NZFanatic
One time I saw a grown-ass man try and tell his preteen daughter that the rabbit in the zoo's farmyard was actually a guinea pig, because the sign said "guinea pig" (the rabbit had just been moved into the empty guinea pig pen because they were redoing the substrate in the rabbit pen). The daughter was getting very frustrated, but the funny part was this guy was dead serious. "I think the zoo would know better, it's a guinea pig, why would they put a rabbit under a guinea pig sign?" Like mate, how have you never seen a rabbit before?

This weekend just been my partner and I took our son to the zoo I used to do some work at, Willowbank Wildlife Reserve. I got assaulted by several species of bird. A Major Mitchell's cockatoo grabbed my jacket through the wire and refused to let go for several minutes, then a macaw screamed in my ear as I was taking a photo with it, and then finally a kea tried to steal my sunglasses, the buttons off my jacket, and then it chewed my ear. I think in the latter case it was trying to be affectionate, but it got a little too enthusiastic.

Though perhaps the funniest thing was witnessing the sheer awe on people's faces a few years ago when the leopard tortoises at Auckland Zoo were being intimate. Anyone ever heard the sounds a male tortoise makes in the throes of passion? Honestly hilarious. The female just carries on with her meal, munching back kale and fruit, and the male is back there putting every bit of his effort into this and vocalising the whole time. Even funnier than watching two porcupines navigate the same act with those quills.

Then, finally, last weekend I was in Auckland and went to the zoo twice (once when we arrived and then again the next day since we didn't have enough time before our flight to do anything else, and I wasn't about to complain about visiting the best zoo in NZ again). There was this really obnoxious group of locals, the kind of entitled people who think their view of the animals must come before anyone else's. They were taking a group photo in front of the zoo's lone Sri Lankan elephant (she'll be heading off to Australia soon to join a herd, something that has been in the works for a few years since the zoo's land grant to extend her habitat and get more elephants was rejected), when she decided to start peeing. The pee wasn't funny in itself, I'm not a child, but seeing these people who practically bullied their way to that prime spot in front of her have their photo spoiled by this was pretty great. The elephant, named Burma, even turned her back on them to do it.
 

FlameWizard492

FlameWizard492
jcp011c said:
Quite a few years back, our local zoo has an island habitat that has the gibbons and Siamangs They can get pretty loud and they really were that day. So were the kids that were on some kind of field trip or tour, several of them started hooting and hollering back at them. It went on for a few minutes getting more and more loud, until one of the gibbons came down from the tree. You would have thought the gibbon had jumped out of the habitat instead of just getting onto the ground. The kids got scared and stopped immediately, jumping back. The adults with the group (who had been trying to get the kids to stop) looked relieved and like they were about to bust out laughing.
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They have a similar exhibit for siamangs at ZooTampa in Florida. Sometimes when the siamangs are hooting and hollering in chorus, I like to join them. However, I don't get a reaction like those kids did. I think it's just because it was only me and not a whole group.
 

FlameWizard492

FlameWizard492
I have four stories that stand out for me.

The first one happened when I was around ten years old. My mom took me and my best friend to ZooTampa (we live in Florida, so most of these stories all happen within the state). They have a lorikeet feeding aviary, and we decided to buy some nectar to feed them. We were just standing there, watching them come perch on us to drink the nectar, when one of them suddenly lands on my friend's head and pooped on his hair! Because of that, I'm somewhat avoidant of aviaries to this day.

My second story happened in Zoo Miami when I was in middle school (I think). My mother and grandmother were with me. We passed by the tortoises, and we saw them mating. It made me uncomfortable, and I really wanted to walk away. Now, whenever my mom and I see tortoises, she brings it up.

My third story happened in my freshman year of high school. My parents and I visited the Columbus Zoo in Ohio. We were passing by the bonobo habitat, and if you know a lot about bonobos, then you know that they can be overly affectionate with each other if you know what I mean. That's how they reinforce social bonds. Look at Casual Geographic's video:
Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KF3ir8JDN8E
. He can explain it much better than I'd care to do.

Lastly, I was recently at SeaWorld Orlando with a friend of mine. They have an exhibit called the Wild Arctic in which they house belugas, harbor seals, and Pacific walruses. This story involves me seeing the male walrus doing something that I'd care not to talk about much on the internet. Let's just say that walruses are capable of . . . making themselves happy in a very disturbing way. In this case, the male walrus did it right in front of the glass. Thankfully, he was facing away from the glass so the guests couldn't see what he was doing too well, but I still got a glimpse of . . . everything once I looked from another angle.
 

Orkan

Orkan
At the Southwick’s Zoo, They have a little wooden box type thing probably about 1x1x2 meters with a small window and a sign saying that it’s the ‘elusive rare Red Bat’ Now you’ve probably never heard of the Red Bat before. This is where it gets funny…

When you look in the box, It’s a literal red baseball bat on a little rope. I mean, technically they were right…


There was also one time where my family went to the Roger Williams Park Zoo and when we were having lunch a Starling pooped on my sister’s head.
 

wowman

wowman
Cheyenne Mt. Zoo - Colorado. in the Ape house. A huge silverback start yelling and pounding on a fake rock. This went on for several minutes and just about everyone in the house gathered around to see what was going on. Once a large crowd was gathered the ape proceeded to climb up on a rock, turn around and squirt out a nice number 2 for the crowd to see. He totally was doing this to do that in front of everyone.
 

FlameWizard492

FlameWizard492
Oh, I just remembered another story! I was at Busch Gardens Tampa, and a keeper had a macaw named Rainbow with her and was giving a talk. Suddenly, Rainbow was bold enough to poop on the floor while either the keeper or a guest was holding her.

Side note: I think Rainbow was a Harlequin Macaw. They look like this:
1692021497622.png


Also, she was trained to sing the first few words of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" from The Wizard of Oz. She's passed on now. Rest in peace, Rainbow.
 

Fini

Fini
FlameWizard492 said:
Oh, I just remembered another story! I was at Busch Gardens Tampa, and a keeper had a macaw named Rainbow with her and was giving a talk. Suddenly, Rainbow was bold enough to poop on the floor while either the keeper or a guest was holding her.

Side note: I think Rainbow was a Harlequin Macaw. They look like this:
View attachment 364311

Also, she was trained to sing the first few words of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" from The Wizard of Oz. She's passed on now. Rest in peace, Rainbow.
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Ah its a Catalina Mawcaw, its a cross breed between a scarlet and a blue and yellow.
When I was looking for parrots for the bird meta list, I remembered seeing an orange macaw in the Bird Park Walsrode, which I thought was very pretty. I then thougt out that the orange ones are hybrids, so unfortunately irrelevant for us. But they are pretty nonetheless.
 

FlameWizard492

FlameWizard492
Fini said:
Ah its a Catalina Mawcaw, its a cross breed between a scarlet and a blue and yellow.
When I was looking for parrots for the bird meta list, I remembered seeing an orange macaw in the Bird Park Walsrode, which I thought was very pretty. I then thougt out that the orange ones are hybrids, so unfortunately irrelevant for us. But they are pretty nonetheless.
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Well, she was either a Harlequin Macaw or a Catalina Macaw. I can't remember which. They both look so similar.
 

FlameWizard492

FlameWizard492
premierfong said:
Guang Zhou Zoo in China. I saw a male lion peeing at a kid. sooooo fun
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I've seen something similar at a rescue center for big cats (It wasn't any of the ones from Tiger King. It was an actual rescue center.). They had a couple of retired circus big cats. However, they did still have them stand on a stool in a little fenced-in theater. The lion in particular had his butt facing the audience while he was on his stool. The man running the show said that the area behind the lion was considered a "splash zone." Thankfully, nothing happened.
 

DarthQuell

DarthQuell
I don't know if this counts, but I went to an exotic pet expo last November. Mostly terrariums and little animals and set ups like that. Very cool, it's where I got my Pacman frog, Bruce, from.
Anyways, there was a guy promoting a coati. Not sure of it was for sale or his pet, but he had it on his shoulders. All of a sudden, I hear what sounds like water. When I turn around, I catch the final bits of this coati peeing a flood, all over this guy. Like, it looked like he jumped in a lake with how much this coati peed on him.
He puts it in its travel cage, them runs to change his shirt. When he comes back, he mumbles that this is the 2nd time it happened to him that day
 
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