You should work with Klingon Programmers where I once worked....
The Klingon Programmer's Code of Honour:
- A TRUE Klingon warrior does not comment his code!
- This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code!
- I have challenged the entire ISO-9000 review team to a round of Bat-Leth practice on the holodeck. They will not concern us again.
- Behold the keyboard of Kalis! The greatest Klingon code warrior that ever lived!
- Defensive programming? Never! Klingon programs are always offensive. Yes, offensive programming is what we do best.
- Klingon programs don't do accountancy. For that, you need a Ferengi programmer.
- Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' - they have 'arguments' - and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.
- This code is a piece of crap! You have no honour!
- By filing this bug you have questioned my family honour. Prepare to die!
- I am without honour...my children are without honour... My father coded at the Battle of Kittimer...and...and...he... HE ALLOWED HIMSELF TO BE MICROMANAGED. <Shudder>
- You question the worthiness of my code?! I should kill you where you stand!
- Specs are for the weak and timid!
- Klingons do not believe in indentation - except perhaps in the skulls of their project managers.
- Klingon search engines don't just search the internet - they hunt!
- Klingons do not "release" software. Klingon software escapes, leaving a bloody trail of design engineers and quality assurance testers in its wake.
- Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Bugs are good for building up character in the user!
- As for project orders (requirements, goals): Klingons do not deliver; we EXECUTE. For the glory of the empire!
- Perhaps it IS a good day to die! I say we ship it!
- Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!
